CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES

A LOVE TO BE HONORED

2010-07-21T07:00:00.003-04:00

A NOTE FROM MILTON:

For two years I have looked to God for the soothing of a broken heart, and moment by moment healing has come. It has not been easy.

Kristy is whole and well in heaven, but those left behind have felt the pain of the loss of one so very precious and dear. We have struggled to find comfort. My girls and grands and family and friends and those unknown have waited for healing mist.

God is faithful.

***

Kristy, you knew God's plan for me and with heavenly love released me and pushed me and blessed me to walk and live again.

I could not understand your passing, God's plan, or pain beyond expression. My body, my mind, my spirit was broken and could not grasp why.

Yet, in God's mercy and in His timing, Wanda came softly and sweetly to complete my journey. Only heaven's vision could see and understand. It is a love from above.

Soon, we will complete life's mission. We will join around the throne to give glory.

I honor you and thank you. You made me a better man and blessed me. I will see you in heaven. It will be sweet.

CONNECT TO MY NEW BLOG

2009-01-26T06:30:00.007-05:00

This blog is the story of Kristy Dykes and her writings.

On July 21, 2008, Kristy walked through the gates of heaven onto streets of gold. Kristy's blog will always be a reminder of the joy and blessing of serving God and the love God adds to marriage.

Please click on the address below to go to my new blog.

See you there.

Milton Dykes

http://mdykes.blogspot.com/

Kristy Roberts Dykes

August 2, 1951--July 21, 2008

"Pizzazz, Enthusiasm, High Energy"

THIS LADY HAD FAITH

2009-01-21T07:00:00.005-05:00

Today is the last post I will enter until Monday, January 26 when I will begin my new blog. I will enter a link on this blog address on Monday to connect you to the new site.

I look forward to your visiting the new site on Monday. Remember, check this site for the link to the new blog.

This post is the video of Kristy's final time to attend church when she shared her last words to our church we pastor and where she also grew up. She was so sick that morning before church that she couldn't remember how to put her makeup on or how to put on her jewelry. It was miraculous that she was able to attend church and even more amazing that she spoke.

Her words to the church will never be forgotten by those present. They were challenging, inspiring, and encouraging. I don't believe I have ever witnessed faith in anyone more than what I saw and heard that morning as Kristy spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT-QJr-BK-A

Double click above to watch video.

MY LETTER TO KRISTY

2009-01-20T07:00:00.004-05:00

Dear Kristy:

Before you had brain surgery, you asked me to journal entries on this blog to tell your story and our story. At first I couldn't see how I could write with all you were facing and I told you that I couldn't. But, at your insistence, I began to photo journal your story and have for almost fourteen months. I have attempted to tell your story to the best of my ability.

Your faith and determination to honor God has blessed untold numbers of people and lives as a legacy through your family and those you have touched.

I remember when you started this blog almost five years ago the enthusiasm and energy you had in developing it. Week after week and then month after month and now year after year you wrote, and now I have written daily for you for some fourteen months. This has been one amazing, incredible journey that one day our kids and grandkids will read, view, and watch with appreciation for your faithful and committed life and service to them and to the Lord.

Thirty-seven years is not long enough to be married when you share the sweet love that we enjoyed. We did so much and walked together with an honest and pure love. I still wipe tears over our blessed and wonderful years we lived as husband and wife.

You gave me the most beautiful daughters and stood faithfully at my side to help me serve as a pastor and church leader. Wow, did we ever live and have fun!

I have written daily about you and all you have meant to me. I could add more, but you know the christian romance we shared. We had fireworks, sparks, sweetness, and joy mixed and intertwined with eternal purpose. You made this Alabama boy a better man and a true romantic.

Your articles, books, and this blog have touched millions and heaven will record the full magnitude and impact of your romantic, sweet pen. I tried every way that I could to support and encourage your efforts and vision to write. Many years ago the Lord told us that we would write together and bless many people. You kept faithful to your calling to the very end and God truly blessed your hard work, and together we wrote and shared to encourage others.

Sweetheart, I love you dearly and thank you for all you did to bless me, our daughters and grands, our family, the churches we served, and many others we do not know. You did good and made life better for all of us.

We all miss you terribly. The girls and the grands hurt and hurt real bad, but we are going to make it. You showed us how to live with joy and die with dignity and peace. That cloud of peace and chair of strength are still with us. God is so good. He will not fail.

You told Julie and Norma the plans God had for me with Wanda before you passed. I am awed at your insight, love, and kindness to bless me and push me to move forward with my life. How did you know that Wanda was the one God had for me? You are one classy, spiritual lady. You knew my needs and loved me more than one could ever imagine as you released me to God's full plan for my life. I am grateful. Just moments before you went to heaven when I asked you to tell Jesus to send me help, I didn't know that you already knew who the help would be. You are amazing!

It won't be long and all of us will join you. Life here is brief, but eternity is forever. I will live for the day that we all see each other again in heaven. With God's help, I will be faithful and finish my life with commitment and determination to honor God and give Him glory just as you did.

Kristy, thank you for loving me and walking with me and blessing me.

Milton

***

Tomorrow will be the last post entry on this blog for some time to come. This blog will always be here for you to read, and on rare occasions in the future there will be updates.

Thank you for all your prayers and kindness to Kristy, me, my daughters, and our family.

May God bless you.

KRISTY'S LAST POST

2009-01-19T07:00:00.004-05:00

These are the last words Kristy wrote on Thursday April 24, 2008, just one week before she entered hospice and walked deep into the valley of the shadow of death . I wanted to share her last written words to you on these final days of entry on this blog. These words express so much of her heart.

***

Kristy, here:

Thanks, all, for your GLORIOUS comments. Appreciate you all. Just came in from a midweek prayer service. Lots of strength when you're surrounded by believers. Thanks, all, for your prayers. God is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooood to me! Even with brain cancer, I can say that. He's a good God.

GO BACK AND READ

2009-01-18T07:00:00.004-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

In three days I will enter the last post on this blog for some time to come. I will probably enter a new post or one of my daughters for unusually important milestone or occasions in the future. I will start a new blog that will be linked you from this blog to the new one. The new blog will start on Thursday, January 22.

There is so much I could write but today this post will be brief. Why not take the time to go back and read a few past posts. I have. They go back almost five years. You will read the heart of a passionate woman named Kristy who loved God, her husband and daughters, family and people in general, and you will read a christian love story that will change your life.

JULIE'S THOUGHTS ABOUT HER MOM

2009-01-17T07:00:00.001-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I have asked Julie to write her thoughts about her Mom as I finalize the last posts on this blog. I am so very proud and thankful for Julie and Jennifer. They make their Dad proud.

***

My dad asked me the first of the week to write something about my mom. Well, I have had a very busy week. Report cards were due (I’m a teacher.) My boys had a lot of homework. It was difficult to find the time to sit down and gather my thoughts. I was finally able to sit down late last night after a long day of work, after I put the boys to bed, and I began to try to write something.

I thought and I thought, and my heart was so heavy. I went back and read old posts, wanting the Lord to impress something on my heart to write. And all I felt was heaviness. Dad finally called me again about 12:30, and was worried about me being up so late. He told me to go on to bed. I had to get up in about five hours.

When my family writes, they always write something so uplifting. Something that is inspiring. When I spoke at my mother’s funeral, God gave me those words. They came flowing from my heart. Right now, I want to write something inspiring. I mean, my mother was amazing. How hard this could be, you may wonder. When I go back and read all of the posts and look at all of the pictures, my mother was vibrant and faithful and full of joy every single day until the very end. How amazing is that? I wonder what it must have felt like to have been told, “You are going to die. And it will be painful at the end. You only have a few months left.” I can’t imagine what that REALLY, TRULY must have felt like.

I’m sitting here at my computer, and I know I have things I would like to share with you all. Things about my mother and my father. But right now, the ideas won’t come together. My heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears. So… I’ve decided to just be honest. To tell it like it really is. It hurts. It hurts to lose your mother. She was 56. In the prime of her life. I would like you all to please continue praying for me and for my family. I will make it. I’m built from stern stuff as my mother would say. But life has changed for me. It just doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be.

I remember the night I found out my mom had a brain tumor... She and Dad told me the day before that they had found out she had lost 25% of her peripheral vision. I knew that something had caused that, but never in a million years did I think she really would have a brain tumor. I remember the seriousness in my father's voice as I listened to him over the phone that Wednesday night. Our life was forever changed.

I remember the day of my mother's surgery. Our family and close friends all waited in the waiting room together. Janet, Dad's sister led us in the song, "How Great Is Our God, Sing with Me How Great Is Our God. How Great Is Our God. He's The Name Above All Names. Worthy to Be Praised. How Great is Our God!" I remember when the doctor came to talk to my dad, my sister and me. He told us they would let us know in a day or two if it was cancerous. I know he really knew then, but he wouldn't tell us anything. I remember telling him, as we walked in to see her, "She's a really special lady."

I remember a couple of days later when the doctor came in the hospital room to tell us her diagnosis. My dad, sister, I, and some of our family members were in the room with her. No one had really looked up much online about brain cancer. And I hadn't done much research, but I did read a little. I remember the moment the words "Glioblastoma Multiforme Stage 4" came out of his mouth. Everyone else in the room had to wait for him to explain what that meant, but as soon as he said those words I knew they were a death sentence. I had read that someone who has that only lives 6-9 months. Immediately tears began to stream down my face. I had to get out of that room. I quickly ran out to the waiting room bawling. I had to pull myself together before I could go back in there. But mom, she barely blinked an eye when they told her. Wow.

I remember going to Cheesecake Factory with her and my sister one day for lunch. I sat there in that restaurant, and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “My mother has a brain tumor! It won’t be long and she won’t be here to be able to have lunch here again with me!” It was the weirdest feeling sitting there with all of those people going on about their daily lives, and my mom was sitting there and she looked as normal as could be, but she was dying.

I remember visiting my mother throughout her illness. She was always giving to us, even though she was sick. She truly had a servant’s heart. On one of my visits from Tampa I had had a busy week so I brought my laundry with me when I came to Jacksonville. We had a busy day, going to the cancer center and then I think we went out to eat. When we got home we decided to take a nap which is something she never, ever did before she got sick. I told her I would do my laundry when I woke up and told her to please just leave it that I would take care of it. Well, as we lay on her bed, she insisted on scratching my back. (Our family likes to scratch backs and give each other massages.) Here she was the one who was sick, and she wouldn’t let me do anything for her, she still wanted to take care of and look out for me. Later when I woke up, I went into the laundry room to do my laundry and found she had already done it! She was dying of brain cancer and was still taking care of herself and looking out for and helping her family as well. I just couldn’t believe she had washed and folded my laundry. I did not want to put her out. She was so sweet….

Well, as I gathered my clothes off of the dryer, I realized… She had forgotten to wash them!! She was at the stage where she was getting a little confused and mixed up with some things. I discovered she had thrown my dirty clothes straight into the dryer without ever washing them and then folded my still dirty clothes! I never told her, but Dad and I sure did get a good laugh out of that one!

I know this post is a little different from the normal posts on this blog. But I just felt like being real today. I miss my mother so much. God has placed some things on my heart that I do want to share. I’ll have to ask Dad when he would like me to do this. I have thoughts swirling around in my mind. Thoughts on my mother’s faithfulness, and on the depth of her love for us ( I mean, what kind of love is that, how sweet, how deep, how real, and how selfless- that she told me she knew who would be good for my father. I’ll have to share that story with you all soon. It happened when we were getting ready to go to lunch one day, as we were putting our makeup on in her bathroom. She told me about Wanda with a sparkle in her eye! That came from her, and from God- that was the farthest thing on our minds! None of us ever thought anything like that about Dad after she would be gone. We wanted her here. We wanted her to get healed.)

I also want to write about her amazing sense of peace and of her deep joy that she had through the great times and that she exuded all the way through death’s valley.

And finally, I want to write about my dad and about Wanda. Both of them have experienced heartache- that comes with life…. But this is truly the most beautiful, special, sweet- oh so sweet christian love story that has ever been. CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES… my mother couldn’t have chosen a more fitting title for her blog.

That is what I think EVERY SINGLE time I open her blog and read her words… CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES.

WANDA'S TRIBUTE TO KRISTY

2009-01-16T07:00:00.002-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I asked Wanda if she would like to write her thoughts as I finish these last few days of entres on this blog. Wanda has so graciously written a tribute to Kristy. This is amazingly incredible.

***

It is with honor that I write a tribute to Kristy.

I first met Kristy when Jim and I started attending Bartow First Assembly in 1980. It seemed like from the very beginning Kristy and I connected and became good friends. Our children where the same ages, Kristy and I were the same age, we had been married the same about of time and just had a lot of things in common .

I believe, because we were their first converts in the church in Bartow and her love for people, she had a great burden to help disciple and mentor me as she knew I was going to need guidance and direction in my new walk with the Lord. With her kind, gentle spirit that is what she did.

My family enjoyed many times of fellowship with Kristy, Milton and the girls, going to different homes, to McDonalds and Burger King almost every Sunday night after church. We had only been in the church for about six months and Kristy and Milton wanted to go on a trip to the mountains with the youth but could not take Julie and Jennifer. Having no parents here to help them out, Jim and I offered to keep the girls for the week. Kristy entrusted me with the girls even though we had only known each other for a few months. Through this, we became family to each other. When they returned from the trip, her gift of appreciation to me was a devotional book by CorrieTen Boom. Again, there was her gentle, kind, spirit mentoring and helping me to grow in the Lord.

Kristy and I remained friends during their eight years as Pastor in Bartow. She encouraged me to become involved in the church by teaching and being a leader in the ladies ministries . She was my teacher, as I taught others.

As church secretary she treated me very well always making sure I had what I needed to get the job done. As of today, I have a plant in my back yard that she sent to me on Secretary’s Day to show her and Milton’s appreciation to me. She was always thinking of others.

After they left Bartow we continued to stay in touch, seeing them at District Councils and other events. Every time she spoke in the area I always made it a point to try to attend. After she began writing, she always sent to me autographed copies of her books, which I still have and cherish.

Little did I know that years later, when she knew that the Lord was calling her home, that she would feel that I was the one that the Lord would call to be the help that Milton had asked for the night that she went to be with Jesus. I know that the Lord is the one that has put Milton and me together, but I do feel that because of the way Kristy mentored me, she helped prepare me for what the Lord now has for me.

She left a great legacy of love.

A WORN TRAVEL TRAIN CASE

2009-01-15T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Traveling light is the best way to go. Heavy luggage and too much stuff slows everyone. Kristy knew how to travel and she also lived in a clutter free manner that made efficiency and excellence easier to achieve. I am more of the pack rat but I have learned from her that to keep something beyond its time of usage didn't help present life. Too much stuff is hard to handle and deal with.

Kristy told me to make changes in my house that would allow for new to come alive. She didn't want things to be stuck in time and not have use or value for today. She didn't want her house decor to cover my future and restrict new life from budding. So Norma and Ron have been helping with changes here in my home that Kristy wanted to take place and that I now realize are important too.

As they gathered items that needed to be packed, saved, or stored for my kids and then other items that needed to be given away, nostalgia filled this house and my heart.

I noticed her travel train case that we had made hundreds and hundreds of trips over the years. For almost twelve years we spoke in one to three different church across Florida, the South, the Caribbean, our Nation, and other parts of the world. Trip after trip we packed and unpacked. She kept that travel case ready to go at a moments notice. We both knew how to get things ready in a hurry and when we returned home we both knew how to unpacked quickly.

I have reflected about some of those trips and packing and unpacking over and over again. I can remember only a couple of times or so that we left something at home that we needed on the trip and only a time or so that we felled to get it all back home.

Once I forgot to take a belt that I needed and maybe we left something somewhere that I have forgotten, but pretty much that was it. We just knew how to get going and get back and do it quickly, efficiently, and in the manner to have just what we needed for the events we would participate on each trip.

That took planning and diligence over and over and over and we partnered to make it happen. We traveled and spoke at conferences, seminars, revivals, men and ladies events, and attended all kinds of seminars that we weren't the speakers and learned and gleaned to sharpen our ministry work saws to best help others.

Norma took a couple of items out of that train case that the girls might desire to have, but then she and Ron put it with items to go to bless others. That is what Kristy would want done. She wouldn't keep anything just to keep it. She kept life clutter free. To her, that was the most efficient way to live.

That is how Kristy lived--efficient, effective, with excellence.

That travel train case was worn from use and now it was time to pass it on for others to use. That is what Kristy would want too.

TENDER TEARS OF CHANGE

2009-01-14T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Working through transition is hard, but I promise you that after 37 years with Kristy that she never beat around the bush or waited on anything. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go! That was Kristy all the way. She would not stand for me to be lagging or overly pining away or wilting in life. I know grief is a process that is healed over time by God's grace and I am gradually moving forward in that process.

The day after Kristy's funeral I gave jewelry and clothing of Kristy's to daughters and family members. Changes have been made periodically and gradually all those these last weeks and months.

But change is hard and I have cried tears and then more tears as necessary transition is taking place.

Today I went to pick out a marker for her grave. As mentioned in an earlier post, my daughters and I chose to put on her marker "Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High Energy!

Those words described Kristy very clearly. I had called the marker company and found that the type of marker for the area Kristy is buried allows only four words on the marker. As I talked on the phone I counted the words on my fingers. Yes, there were exactly four words that we had chosen for Kristy. Amazing! What if they allowed on three words? Or, what if we had chosen ten words? Well, all things work together for good....

Norma has been helping work through some changes here in my house while they are here and Ron is preaching for me. They were present Sunday when Wanda greeted my church and Ron spoke and helped make the introduction easier for Wanda and me.

These changes slowly and smoothly but yet with some hurt have been taking place. It is the right time and is happening in the right way.

I was excited to have Wanda in church on Sunday. She was calm, collected, cool, and cute! It was good to have her with me and it was the first time for us to be in my church together. My congregation could not have been kinder or more gracious. That is just their manner. They are great!

But it was different to have Wanda there and not Kristy. It felt different. It looked different. It was different. That is the obvious.

But that is OK. I know Kristy and I know that she was pleased. She probably wondered why it had taken so long and why everyone took so long to know what she had know first of all as God had shown her God's plan for us to be together. I am blessed and so grateful for God's goodness and faithfulness to me. God know what I need and is here to meet my needs now.

I wept more tears today when I arrived home with the changes. The changes are right. They are good and they are at the right time. But the changes of pictures and some changes of certain decor in the house speak of the obvious again. Kristy is gone. That still hurts.

But the hurt is being comforted and the future is before me and that is what Kristy wanted for me. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go!

This blog is in the process of changing and winding down with a new blog being developed. My daughters and writing some final thought for this blog as Jennifer as already posted her thoughts. I will be sharing final thoughts on this blog over the weekend.

Change is happening. There are tears and there is hurt and there is expectation of new joy and new things and new plans and new dreams and Kristy would want that sooner rather than later.

That was Kristy's way. It is right way for me right now.

JENNIFER: UNIQUE PATHS

2009-01-13T07:00:00.006-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

Jennifer, my youngest daughter, is sharing on today's blog thoughts about her mother and this blog. Jennifer is a great writer and has a marvelous style of writing. I love to read her thoughts.

***

Unique Paths

My dad has asked me to write something for the closing of mom’s blog. I’m not sure my heart is up to the task but I promised I would… please bare with me as my heart is heavy and my eyes brimming with tears. I might jump around but I’ll try my best to make sense.

The last time I visited my mom, before she got really sick and entered hospice, we had an amazing last time together. We went to lunch at Cheesecake Factory and ate dessert together, we had coffee at Starbucks, we went to church for last time together.

Oh the sweet memories… Mom, You where such a good mother…

The most memorable moment was the last time we sat at her kitchen table together. It was late at night, the kids were asleep and it was just us talking about life. She was giving me advice and telling me not to settle in life but to know God had much in store for me and to reach higher.

Oh the memories around that table… Mom, You took such good care of us, you fed our bodies and our souls as well…

At the end of the conversation she said she had a word from the Lord for me. We left the cozy kitchen table for her always well supplied office so I could write down what she had to say. She couldn‘t write anymore. My mom, the woman with unending energy and talent, was now the author who couldn’t write…it was too much of a struggle for her. So I pulled a freshly sharpened pencil from the coffee can turned into a homemade pencil holder one of us had made for her as a kid.

Oh the memories of sweet childhood… Mom, I’ll never forget how you were always home, pouring your heart and soul into your family.

It was late at night and we were both tired (even with terminal brain cancer, the woman was still amazing! ) but we both wanted to get this message written down. Here is what she said to me that late night.

“God has a walk for you. Don’t be surprised but walk as I have in trust. My walk is requiring trust and your walk will too. Don’t be afraid. God has His plan. The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. Just as He has had me walk this unique path, a unique path will befall you. Just keep living for the Lord and He will reveal it. Trust is the important word in unique paths and as we trust He will work out Romans 8:28”

Oh the memories of her alive talking… Mom, I’ll never forget that even though you were the one dying, you wanted us to be ok!

By now most who are reading know my mom’s unique path led her into the waiting arms of Jesus. She won! She won on July 21^st when she left this world and entered heaven.

But what of us? What of us, those she left behind? I’m still discovering what unique paths God has for me. So far there have been lots of twists and turns that I didn’t expect but her words from that night ring in my ears. Trust. I will trust as I follow Him on whatever unique path he has in store. I will remember back to the truths my mom helped put in my heart. I will pull from the strength her wonderful example gives.

Mom, I will never forget you. Part of you is inside of me. All you taught me, all you wanted me to be is inside…thank you mom… I will carry you in my heart forever.

THOUGHTS AND MORE THOUGHTS

2009-01-12T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I am winding down my thoughts to be posted on this blog. It is a great blog started by a great, classy lady. Stroll back through Kristy's past writings and you will read a love story that will continue forever.

Kristy oozed romance and she made me a romantic. I assure you that Wanda is and will be a recipient of love cultivated in me that will show and share romantic expressions in both word and deed.

I will write more. Wanda and I have agreed that I will write more but it obviously will have a new and different view.

Today as I talked with me sister Norma she offered a book title that I may well use as I write the love stories of my heart. I will tell you the suggested title at a later time. This will be a connecting story linking the past love with the new love. I believe it will make a great book. Hopefully one day you will see it in print.

New love, after sharing love as Kristy and I did , takes some adjustment and time and the ability to let the new cultivate and grow. I am so very thankful that God brought Wanda into my life now rather than a year or two from now. Every person who loses a spouse deals with it in different ways, but for me it would have been unbearable to face without the love and comfort that Wanda has been able to share. She has been kind, gracious, and amazingly secure through all this process.

Today Wanda went to church with me where I pastor for the first time. My parents were there along with sis Norma and Ron, her husband. I briefly introduced her to the church and she greeted the people with grace, humility, dignity, and class. Her sweetness and love reached out to people who still hurt over Kristy's passing. Wanda told the church that she loved Kristy and understood their hurts. She said that she loved Kristy too. She said that Kristy was her mentor and they were friends. Wanda made an amazing speech that really touched my heart and I believe touched all who were present.

The new blog is coming, but for the next couple of days or so my girls and I will write reflective conclusions for this part of this blog's life.

I hope that many of you will post your thoughts in the comments section about Kristy and her impact on your life. It would bless my girls and me if you did. I will include some of the comments in the main body of a future post. Thank you for your love and prayers for my family and me. I am grateful.

This christian love story will continue and will always be here on this blog. It will be a testimony to Kristy's heart and love.

LOOK WHAT IS IN MY CHURCH OFFICE

2009-01-11T07:00:00.006-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I have received many bits of advice and wisdom as I have walked through these last weeks and months dealing first with Kristy's illness, then death, grief, and now a new love coming into my life. It has not been an easy journey and there has been more than one surprise along the way.

But God remains faithful to me through it all.

Wanda and I have talked at length about my grief, our love, and the future. She is a God send to me and has been just what I need. Truly God provided a new friend and love to help me and bring comfort to me. She has become my very best friend.

But is still has some rough spots. I will admit it. We both loved our spouses and my loss is still up front, fresh, and with some very raw edges. I am moving through this a the pace that God is leading and setting for me, and thankfully each day I have felt His wonderful, comforting presence.

Wanda is in Jacksonville this weekend as my parents are acting as our chaperons. We went on a double date for dinner with mom and dad sitting in the back seat as I drove. Dad told me to use both hands, but I told him I had to drive with one. HA! It is Biblical, according to dad, to take your parents on your dates. He said that Samson took his parents on his dates.

Before Wanda arrived for this visit, I changed a few things at my church office. I moved a few pictures and rearranged some pictures and remembrances of the past. It was hard to do, but it was the right thing to do and it was the right time to do it.

I took Wanda to my church office, again with my parents, and showed her around. I pointed to a beautiful framed picture of Christ hands extended hanging in my office and asked if she remembered it?

She said, "No."

I asked her to look closer and she read the engraved inscription noting it as a gift from the Bartow Church, her church, where I pastored many year ago. It was a gift from the church to Kristy and me for our one year anniversary at the church in 1981. That brought back some memories for both of us. Wanda was there the night they gave it to us.

Then Wanda pointed below the picture to a very finely stitched picture of "praying hands."

Wanda asked, "Do you remember this?"

I looked closely and said, "No."

I looked closer and then it came to me. This was a cross stitched picture Wanda made for Kristy and me almost twenty-five years ago. There were her stitched initials on the bottom.

It was incredible.

I had totally forgotten this picture and who and where it came from and amazingly this stitched framed picture remained with me for all those years. Through these 38 years of ministry untold gifts like this one have so kindly been shared with Kristy and me, but this one remained with me and was in my office. It was a precious gift from Wanda to Kristy and me.

I cannot believe that I still had it and that it was displayed in my office.

It was as if God was confirming again His will for my life and our lives. On the first day that Wanda arrived which was the day after I had re-arranged pictures and remembrances, all of a sudden there was something from Wanda that just happened to be placed in the room. She saw it and it spoke to me and to us. It was if God was saying I am making a change and now is the time for Wanda to move into the picture.

God is neat. He does things special. He confirms His will in amazing ways.

God is good.

A FOUR WHEELER STOPS WITH A BIG THUD!

2009-01-10T07:00:00.007-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Fast forward to this past New Year's Day.

Wanda and I just arrived in Tallahassee, FL, for a brief visit for me to meet her mother and siblings. Her daughter, Jennifer, lives there with her husband, Paul, and son, Alexander. Yes, we both have a Jennifer and an Alexander.

We had been at Jennifer's home less than 5 minutes when we watched Paul and Alexander ride past the front of their house on a four wheeler. They have a beautiful home on acreage out in the country. Paul raced by the house on the dirt road as he and Alex were enjoying riding.

Just as they raced past my eyesight as I looked out the front windows of their house, I heard a hard thud sound and the four wheeler engine noised stopped. It happened suddenly leaving a very eery feeling.

"That didn't sound good," Jennifer said. And we opened the front door to check on Paul and Alex.

My heart stopped as I saw a horrible sight. The four wheeler was upside down on top of Paul and ten year old Alexander was screaming and running around begging for help.

Jennifer dashed toward them and I was right behind her with Wanda trailing me. Jennifer said, "Call 911."

I turned and yelled to Wanda to go back into the house and call 911, and I chased after Jennifer as we both ran to check on Paul. I could see a puddle of blood and Paul was face down into that blood and he wasn't moving and the big, heavy four wheeler was on top of him.

It looked bad, real bad. He looked dead at a distance. Images raced through my mind with all kinds of fears. I had comforted many families through the years whose loved ones had broken necks, died, or had life altering injuries from less accidents than this one appeared to be. This looked horrible.

Alex was screaming and running around in shock. He was scared silly. His dad was hurt and we didn't know how severe. As I got closer the image of the blood under his face and the four wheeler on top of him got bigger and more serious looking.

Is he paralyzed? Or brain damaged? Or have broken bones? Or hemorrhaging?

Will he rupture with internal bleeding if I can manage to get the four wheeler off him? Is he hemorrhaging now and will he die and will I have a wife, son, and mother-in--law in shock in a few moments. All kinds of thought were running through my minds as I raced to help.

Jennifer was screaming now, "We got to get it off him."

I am quickly looking the scene over to see if pulling it off quickly will do more arm than not. Blood and more blood was under his face. He was laying face down in that blood with the huge four wheeler on top of him.

Paul begins to moan and cry out and Jennifer is screaming and begging God and I am praying hard for mercy and trusting their are no internal hemorrhages or brain damage.

Before I could say anything to Jennifer about the wisdom of pulling the four wheeler off or not, she begins to try to get it off Paul. This was a very big four wheeler and she can't budge it. I reach up and try to pick it off and can't move it and she says we have to get it off. It seems too much, but I can't stop and I heaved again with one more huge try and we lift it off.

Paul is writhing now. I can see by his movement there is no paralysis, but the blood is puddling and I look to see if there were signs of internal injury. He begins to cry out and move around and is coming out from being knocked out. . But the possibility internal injury is looming.

We were way out in the country and it will take a while for 911 to respond. Paul began to writhe more and I tried to keep him still and quiet, but he moved more and more. He tried to sit up and I tried to keep him still as I was fearful of internal injuries.

His face was a bloody pulp with gashes all over the back of his head and side and front of his face. He looked like someone had wrapped his face in a bloody towel. It was puffy and swollen and dirt was all over into the blood and the gashes and puncture wounds were looking horrible.

He began to come out of a daze and Jennifer asked him a question and he is confused but finally answers partially. He looks terrible and I am wondering if internal injuries are going to get him. Finally first responder county fire fighters arrive and begin to try to treat Paul and Alex who is now complaining of his head hurting and is really upset. Later ambulances arrived and prepared them for transport to the ER.

I prayed with Alex and Paul and Jennifer. I had been praying under my breathe and out loud some.

They kept Paul several days in the hospital. God was merciful and Alex had bruises and minor scratches so he didn't have to stay in the hospital. Paul had a broken collar bone, three cracked ribs, and a punctured lung, and bad puncture wounds on his face.

Paul was fortunate and blessed in spite of those injuries. It could have been much, much, worse.

That morning before all this happened, Wanda and I had prayed for Paul, Jennifer, and Alexander as well as other family members. God had heard our prayers. He kept them for severe, serious physical harm. They both could have been killed.

Later I remembered what God spoke to me ten days after Kristy's funeral service when He woke me up early in the morning and told me, "Wanda is the one of I have for you. She will bless you and bless your children, and you will bless her and bless her children."

Those words were coming true. That day I had blessed her children. I had helped save Paul's life from worse harm and had blessed them by being there in a serious time of need. Yes, God was blessing me through Wanda, and I was blessing her and her children.

Wanda and I worked together well in a very urgent and severe test. We did good, and I was able to bless her and her children.

A SPIRITUALLY HOT DATE....

2009-01-09T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Driving back from Winter Park to Jacksonville my cell phone rang and it was Jennifer calling from San Juan, Puerto Rico.

"How did the date go, Dad," Jennifer asked?

She and Julie wanted to know what was going on and how my first date with Wanda had gone. Can you believe that I am even writing such a thing--date? I had just gone on a date? What is that?

"We had fun. We had a ball. Everything was fine," I said back to her.

"Well, I have two questions to ask you," Jennifer said. "First, were you attracted to her?"

Jennifer knew that we hadn't seen each other and she knew that God wanted Wanda and me to be together, but she also knew that we would need to be attracted to each other. So that was her question. Did you like being with her? Are you attracted to her?

"Yes, Jennifer," I said. I really liked being with her and she is a beautiful lady and I was attracted t her."

"Good," she said.

"OK here is the second question," Jennifer laughing as she spoke. "Julie and I made a bet between each other and we want to know who wins the bet?"

"What was your bet," I asked?

"We bet whether or not you kissed her."

"You bet what," I asked as I laughed over the cell phone driving up I-95? "Who bet which way?"

"Julie bet you kissed her. I bet you would not kiss her," she cackled over the phone.

We were both breaking up laughing and laughing.

"Well, you won, Jennifer," I said. "We didn't kiss."

I told Jennifer that I had told Wanda that Mama said that I couldn't kiss on the first date. We both are dying laughing now. I am trying to keep it together driving up I-95. I did have a ear phone for safe driving, but it was so funny to hear my daughter tell about their bet.

I don't know what they bet or how much they wagered, but I do know they were having some fun with their Dad.

"Jennifer, I told Wanda that I probably wouldn't ever kiss another woman until I marry her. So we have made a vow and we're going to keep it."

She says, "Wow, Dad, that is something."

My 84 year old minister father told me that I was dumb for having such vow and so did my mother so I guess it would be OK to kiss, but we didn't and haven't yet.

I laughed and laughed with Jennifer as I drove up I-95 towards Jacksonville after my spiritual but "hot date" with Wanda. Can preachers go on hot dates? My answer--yes, if it is a spiritual date too.

Our date was spiritual.

***

It looks as if my potential blog name needs a little work--even my daughter Julie thought it needed helped. Jennifer liked the title, but I had a few moments to talk with her and explain my reason for considering it.

I will pray about it and brainstorm more. We'll see what rises to the top of the best ideas and most of all what it seems God's suggestion might be.

WANDA BROUGHT HER BIBLE

2009-01-08T07:00:00.008-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Wanda brought he Bible on our first date. I had asked her if there was something that God had shown her about God's plan for her and for us. After lunch while we sat in Starbucks and had coffee, she took her Bible and shared a few Scriptures with me. She read from the Old Testament and we talked about how God had been speaking to her, to me, and to us. We had been praying nightly together over the phone and God was confirming His will to us.

Christian romance was what this was all about. It was about two very committed believers walking with God and God leading their lives and good things coming out of holy and good relationship. Christ was at the center of this new love and relationship.

Can you have fun and take your Bible on your first date?

Yes, we were having fun. I like to laugh and tell jokes and poke fun and tease some and see if I can get a stir out of someone. And Wanda likes to laugh too and Lord knows both of us needed some laughing.

But this relationship was also spiritual. You learn after going through what both of us had with losing spouses that we each dearly loved that life is short, things changed quickly, and we have no assurance of tomorrow. So, we have to make things count and the best way to make things count is to make sure that God is at the top of the list and that you are following Him.

That is what Wanda and I were doing. We were trying with all of our hearts to follow Him and make sure He was at the top of our list.

It is really amazingly, incredible how God connected us so quickly with our children's blessings and that we connected and had so much fun and yet it was spiritual, and good, and clean, and pure and we knew that it felt right. There would be no regrets because God was at the top of the list.

This relationship is right. It is spiritual. It is fun. He has the peace of God in it.

We left Winter Park that afternoon and we had a very good date.

***

Tomorrow I will write about a bet that my daughters made between each other about our first date. I am going to quickly wrap of this phase of telling about my first love in the next day or so and then write some concluding thoughts on this blog.

My thoughts will then be written on a new blog that will be linked from this blog to the new site for readers to follow. That will happen in a week or so.

My idea for the new blog title is:

Plea -- an appeal to the higher good--

How does that sound?

I haven't finalized that yet, but I have been praying over it and that is a focused description of a what a major part of my calling and personal purpose is all about. My life and calling to a great degree has been a "Plea" for people to live for the higher good that is found in serving the Lord. I am called to preach and part of preaching is to plea for the higher good.

The new blog will not be a preachy blog, but it will be an inspirational, funny, romantic, encouraging, motivational, personal, and with a wide ranging style of writings that will push couples, individuals, young and old, believers, and unbelievers to the higher good.

I still have to write about Carrabelle, FL and Barney's cousin and funny church stuff and small towns and life and death and falling down and getting up and trying over and over and a lot of good that always overcomes the bad.

Good is better than bad.

Tell me what you think--the good, the bad, the ugly about this potential blog name.

Plea--an appeal to the higher good

If I can't handle it, then the filter will wipe it away.

Ha!

MAMA SAID, "DON'T KISS....."

2009-01-07T07:00:00.011-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

So Wanda and I were falling in love.

Yes, it is a new, blossoming love. It is not the full mature love that it will be as we commit our lives to each other and learn each other and help each other and grow together and fulfill God's plan and destiny for this new love. It will grow and it will grow solid with maturity and grace and kindness and joy and excitement and blessing and ministry and forbearance and long-suffering kindness.

This love will grow and it will be wonderful.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity we were able to arrange to see each other. We had our children's blessings and we had accountability partner's blessings and we were ready and excited to see each other.

So, where does a preacher take a lady friend, a new love, on a first date? We had limited time and a distance to drive and we wanted to be discreet and under the public radar.

So where should we go? What do we do?

Well, preachers go to church. That is where preachers go. I'll take her to church.

Actually we met at Calvary Assembly in Winter Park, Fl in their parking lot at noon on a Friday and left Wanda's car and I took her to a nice restaurant for lunch in Winter Park.

You cannot imagine the awkwardness that I felt as I drove to the parking lot to meet Wanda. I had not dated anyone but Kristy for almost 40 years. I had already told this lady that I loved her even though we had not been together or seen each other yet. And, there were all of those affirmations that she was the one that were looming in my mind.

But we had not seen each other, and we had fallen in love.

What do I do if we are not attracted to each other? What if she doesn't really like me after being with me? I had not looked at Wanda real close. I told her over the phone that I liked black hair also besides red hair, and she told me that she didn't have red hair or black hair. I thought she had black hair. I knew her hair wasn't red, but I thought it was black. She said it wasn't black and then I wondered as we talked over the phone what she really looked like. I really hadn't paid close attention to details in the past about Wanda, but now the details were beginning to get really important.

Isaac and Rebecca had an arranged marriage by God. Eliezer, Abraham's servant, found Rebecca for Isaac through God's guidance without them ever having seen each other. As the events worked out, later Isaac did fall in love with Rebecca as she was the chosen one for him, but the Bible says that Rebecca was "very fair to look upon." She wasn't ugly. That would not have been as nice of a story if Rebecca had been ugly as a mud fence!

Well, I was beginning to think about the "pretty" aspect of this relationship. Yes, we had fallen in love. We fell in love over the phone. No, I didn't think I would change my mind once I saw her regardless of how she looked. I wondered if she would change her mind once she saw me?

Also, I had kidded Wanda in one of our phone conversations and told her that my mother said that I couldn't kiss on the first date. She laughed. I laughed. We laughed. She said something like I wouldn't have to worry about that anyway.

And then I added.

"Wanda, you may think that I am crazy, but I will probably not ever kiss another woman until she is my wife."

Silence, again for a few moments.

"I am OK with that," she said.

And we haven't kissed. We have made a vow to each other and to God. We will kiss only after we are married.

So some of the ground rules for dating had been set. We would have lunch. We would spend the afternoon in Winter Park and then head back to our separate homes before it got dark or too late.

As I drove into the parking lot I was nervous--very nervous. I had preached at that mega-church several times in the past with its rising escalator going up into the sanctuary and its orchestra pit behind the pulpit and its 6,000 or so seats, but I was much more nervous driving to see Wanda than when I had preached in that big church.

How will this go? Will I say the right things? Will we have fun? What color is her hair?

I arrived and she was already there and I went up to her door to greet her. We said something but I don't know what and then we drove into Winter Park to have lunch. I got lost for a moment or so and then I got my bearings and found the restaurant.

We were seated and talked about how things were and how nice it was to see each other and not have to talk on the phone. The server brought some bread and we talked,

but I was looking. I was staring.

I was looking deep into her eyes and noticing hair color. It is brunette. And I was looking at her skin and, and, and, I was just looking and looking and looking. Of course, in a godly sort of way. Yes, men can look and not lust. I just wanted to see what this lady looked like.

Here is the short answer.

Yes, I liked what I saw.

I liked how she was poised. I liked that she wasn't timid, or shy, or loud, or too quiet, or intimidated or taken back by this fellow who was looking this lady over. I looked into those pretty brown eyes and I saw sweetness, and kindness, and maturity, and trust, and compassion. I could see wisdom and faithfulness and generosity and trustworthiness. And she is tiny. She is dainty and tiny. I saw more in a few moments than I had ever noticed about Wanda Dunsford.

I could tell that she knew that I was looking at her. I told her that I was staring at her, and she said that she knew that I was. But she wasn't bothered by my staring. It didn't seem to upset her. She sat there as we talked and I stared.

And we were having a great time. The lunch went fast and the awkwardness melted. We laughed and we talked about Kristy and Jim and Julie, and two Jennifer's, and Mark, and Tara, and seven grandchildren and son-in-laws, and we talked about life and future and likes and dislikes and told some funny stories and remembered successes and disappointments, and good times and tough times. And I wiped some tears and she had compassion and empathy and I felt better.

And we walked up and down the shopping area of Winter Park and in a small park there and got Starbucks and sat and talked and talked some more and looked in some stores and got some ice cream and laughed and forgot some deep troubles and had fun.

We were having fun. The relationship and friendship were growing. It was happening fast. Jennifer, my Jennifer, said it would happen fast and I didn't hear her. Jennifer was right.

Our commonalities were becoming evident. I could see how we were different and would complete each other and I could see a sweet, beautiful lady who I was falling in love with and who was falling in love with me.

READ WHAT WANDA WRITES.....

2009-01-06T07:00:00.007-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Today Wanda has written her thoughts on our new love and how God confirmed it in her heart and mind. She is a very committed believer and is diligent about her walk with God. It has amazed me how patient, mature, thoughtful, and kind she has been in this whole process of developing a friendship and a loving relationship--all while I write on this blog and the blogworld comments.

My Mom mentioned to us last week that Wanda is a very special lady. Mom said, "Few people have the ability to walk through the last few weeks as Wanda with grace and dignity as Wanda has."

I called Wanda. She did not call me. God put it into my heart to call her probably much sooner after Kristy's passing than I would recommend to others as a pastor, but God led that way and it was confirmed by family and godly counsel.

But Wanda also faithfully listened to the Lord and followed His leading for her life. I admire her and am grateful that God brought her to me.

***

Here is what Wanda has to share:

After my husband passed away, I really had no desire for another mate. Because of my great love for Jim, I had no desire to remarry as I felt that I would never be able to find anyone else that would be as great a husband and a father to our children like Jim was. People told me that I would find someone else, and my comment was always that if it happened God would have to send him to me as I would not be out looking. During this time in my life I just remained still as the Lord had told me, and prayed for the Lords guidance and direction in my life. I had become comfortable with single life and felt that if this is what God had that it was okay with me.

Four years after my husband’s passing, I took a trip to New York with our current Pastor and his wife and the Lord used them to minister to me and help me realize that it was okay to move on with my life. Sometimes the Lord just has to get you away to speak to you. After I returned from this trip I finally realized that I had fulfilled my vows to my husband – till death do us part and that it was Okay to move on in life. At this time I did change my prayer and began to pray that if the Lord did have someone for me that I was open, but that He would have to send him to me as I had said before , I would not go out looking.

When Milton called me the first time I was surprised. He told me that He felt that I had a need and he felt led to call me to see if he could help me.

In my mind my first response was, "Yeah, right!"

As we continued to talk during the next several weeks I realized that maybe I did have a need. I actually had someone to talk to at night and I was beginning to enjoy that. I knew that God was beginning to do something in my life. Milton had not shared with me any of the other stories, only what Kristy had said about us.

I began to really seek God in prayer as I did not want this to go any further if it was not His plan. I went to church on a Wednesday night and our Children’s Pastor spoke that night on “I Surrender All.” The scripture she used was the same one that God had been speaking to me right after Jim’s home-going, “Be Still and Know that I am God.” I knew at that moment that God was fixing to do something special in my life and He prompted me again to Be still and listen!

That is exactly what I did and the Lord began to give me scripture after scripture to let me know that Milton was the one that He was sending into my life. One scripture was Jeremiah 29:11 – "For I know the plans I have for you and through this scripture he let me know that through my pain, suffering and hardship that he was about to see me through to a glorious conclusion."

The morning after Jim’s passing the Lord gave me the scripture Philippians 1:12 “Now I want you to know brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advanced the gospel.” This was such a peace to me as I knew that the Lord was going to use his death to further the Kingdom. I have already seen this scripture come about in my family, within co-workers that worked with Jim, and personal friends. They saw the life that Jim lived and realized that it could be taken away at any time and they wanted their life to count as Jim’s had.

After talking with Milton and realizing that I was falling in love with him, the Lord brought this scripture back to me and let me know that through us, Milton and I, that this scripture was going to be fulfilled even further.

Another confirmation that all was going to be OK was I had gone to church on a Sunday morning and during worship I had strong urgency to go forward and get on my face to pray concerning all that was transpiring between Milton and I. The Lord spoke to me and told me that this relationship was like a puzzle and that He was putting it together piece by piece and that when he completed it was going to be one beautiful picture. That was what I needed to let me know that Milton was the one that the Lord was sending into my life.

After we had been seeing each other for several weeks I shared with my children about what all the Lord had told Milton, Jennifer, Julie and Norma. My daughter then began to weep and told me that she had felt for some time that Milton and I would be together. There were many more affirmations that the Lord gave me. My pastor told me that the Lord had to give me this many to let me know that it was okay to move on with my life.

And that is exactly what I am doing.

STILL FEELING VERY AWKWARD.....

2009-01-05T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

So how does talk on the phone turn into love?

We talked and talked. Life alone at home without anyone around after 8 PM or so is very boring, lonely, and difficult. Now I had someone who understood my hurts and cared. Wanda is a very caring, tender, loving person. She has worked in the same church office for almost 27 years and is loved and respected by everyone because she is a kind, sweet lady. She is a gifted lady and she is a very respected lady.

All of amazing talents and spiritual virtues began to come alive over that phone. I am not one who likes to talk at length over the phone, but things had changed. We got past my shocking announcement about Kristy and even moved forward into talk that definitely was laying ground work for a longer term relationship.

We prayed at the end of every conversation. I prayed for her family and for healing yet present in Wanda's life over losing Jim five years ago, and she prayed for me, my children, and many other matters in my life. God was in the relationship. Christ had a front row seat. He was leading and guiding in clear and specific ways.

Weeks pasted with talk and more talk and then one night I mentioned that I would like to see her. Her first response was, "What will your daughters think about this?"

I knew what Jennifer thought because she had already blurted out that Wanda was the one that God had for me, but I didn't tell Wanda even then what Jennifer had said.

I did say that I knew that Jennifer would be OK with us meeting and I felt that Julie would be OK too. We agreed to talk individually with our children about their feelings about us seeing each other and I told Wanda that I wanted to also talk to my accountability partners about us seeing each other. She said she would talk to her children and we would make our decision on whether we would see each other and when based on the responses from everyone.

In the meantime, we kept talking and talking some more. We found that everyone was in agreement that us seeing each other was OK and we began to talk about how to make that happen.

Bartow is three and a half hours south of Jacksonville. She has a job. I pastor a church. Where and when and how could we meet.

A date?

I was going to have a date?

The preacher was going on a date?

I haven't dated anyone but Kristy in 37 years. Wanda hadn't dated anyone but Jim in almost 37 years. How do you go on a date? What do you do on a date? Well, Kristy and I still had dates all of our married lives so I wasn't dead in the water on how to have a date, but now I am dating someone else.

We kept talking and the conversations were getting interesting. We had connected by phone. The phone lines were tied up every night. There was a definite connection going on here. There were feelings of more than "gratitude" or "respect" or "admiration" or what were some of those other words I used to describe our relationship.

The conversations were ending nightly but we growing awkwardness. "Goodbye" or "good night" or "we'll talk later" seemed a little hallow to end the conversations.

But do I dare tell her that I......,

that I........,

that I......, oh it is coming back--that awkwardness.

How do you tell someone that you love them and it isn't a brotherly or sisterly or general or casual or spiritual or christian or any other word you would like to describe......kind of love.

How do I tell this woman that I love her?

It won't come out of my mouth, but I feel it in my heart. For several nights I could sense that she wanted to say I......, I........, I......., but she was the lady and she wouldn't say it.

She loved me. I could feel it over the phone.

She wouldn't say it and I couldn't say it.

I had concrete in my mouth. The syllables wouldn't form. They words wouldn't come out. There was love in the air and love on the phone but the words I love......, I love......., I love.....

Oh, shucks..... The words I love you, Wanda, wouldn't come out of my mouth. They were stuck in concrete. What could I do to free those words? How could I get them out of my mouth?

So, we are talking, and talking, and talking, and praying, and praying, and praying, and saying goodnight, goodbye, see you tomorrow and those words wouldn't come out of my mouth.

Finally, at the end of one of the conversations this dumb preacher got an idea. Preachers preach. That is what we do. I preach. I know I Corinthians 13. I have memorized that chapter years and years ago. I know about love. I have preached about love. I have diagrammed love and explained love and I have counseled about love and so here was my idea.

I would preach her a sermon.

So I got my best ideas about love together as we ended of one of the conversations and I preached about love.

"Now, Wanda," I said, "Love has many aspects. We love God and we love mankind and we love our children and we love our brothers and sisters in Christ and we know that love is more than an emotion or mere happiness or or joy or the gratification of the flesh. God is love and when He comes into our hearts and fills us with His love then we know how to love......blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, boring, boring, and more and more boring."

"Now, Wanda," (Isn't this lady special. She didn't hang up or go to sleep on my sermon. No I didn't take up an offering, but I should have had a poem.)

"Now, Wanda," I continued, "God has given us the ability to express our love in many ways. More, blah, blah, blah....."

"Now, Wanda, I said, "I......I.....I.....I love.....I love.... I love you."

I got it out. Finally the concrete had been broken up and I had gotten those words out.

So I waited.

Silence.

More silence.

Was she going to preach a sermon to me? Did my sermon put her to sleep and she missed by important closing?

"And I love you...." she sweetly whispered without a poem, offering, or long winded message.

"I love you," she said.

***

As some of you may have read in the comments sections yesterday, I will be starting another blog in a week or so. This blog will always be here with occasional posts from time to time by family. I have written in Kristy's absence and have written for the last months to tell the story of my new love that Kristy felt God had for me and that God has shown my daughters, me,my family, and Wanda, and her family.

Now it is time to move toward other writing as I finish telling the new love story of my life. There will be a link from this blog to my new blog when the change occurs. Thanks for your continued prayers for me, my family, and now for Wanda and me and her family as we follow God's plan and will for our lives.

LIKING TURNS INTO .....

2009-01-04T07:00:00.010-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Is it possible to know that someone is right for you and that God is in it and to yet know that you have not yet have fallen in love with them? Does God speak His mind and heart before feelings, emotions, romance, attraction, fun, sparks, dating, or any other "normal" dimensions of relationship building takes place?

Does God speak to us in the manner that He spoke to me in my inner man saying that "Wanda is the one that I have for you....." Is it possible that I just had an emotional moment and got caught up into something that I felt or think is God and really it is just a spiritually, emotional meltdown?

I know the answers to these questions in my heart. There were becoming too many affirmations from too many sources that were not connected and had no reason to push this new love. Kristy felt this new love before her death. A voice came to me in the night that said Wanda was the one God had for me. Jennifer, my youngest daughter, blurted out that she knew who God had for me and later told me that it was Wanda. And there were others to come who were totally separate from each other.

How could all this happen? Had they seen something that would point to this relationship? Had they all talked and collaberated? Was this a grand scheme?

My mind went to the story of Abraham sending his servant, Eliezer, to get a bride for Isaac. This was a prearranged marriage that began in the heart of God. Eliezer prayed for guidance as he went to Abraham's home land to seek a bride. The story notes divine direction, diving order, divine obedience, diving faith, and divine excitement. I am sure that Isaac prayed over this matter but he wasn't specifically involved in the procuring process. (Now doens't that sound just like a man--"procuring process".) We do not have a Biblical record that Rebecca was praying before Eliezer got there or that she prayed after she gave him and his camel's water to drink, but I am sure she must have prayed, and we know that Isaac was meditating in the field when Rebeccca arrived on the very camels she had watered for Eliezer.

Here is the kicker about Isaac and Rebecca's love story. God directed this relationship and ordered their steps and before they fell in love. Eliezer told Rebecca's family about his servant Abraham and Abraham's son Isaac's need for a wife. Both Isaac and Rebecca had to "buy into" this miraculous romance. They had not dated, or written, or spent nights on long phone calls, or spent any time together, but they accepted what God was doing and we read that they fell in love later. I will write more about Isaac and Rebecca and Eliezer in future posts.

That is what had to happen in the new relationship between Wanda and me. I didn't fall in love with Wanda to prove the affirmations, but when I did fall in love I already knew God had ordered this relationship. God had spoken very clearly to me and I had to walk it out and still am to see and let God affirm all of what I had been told.

And, Wanda had to work out all this in her mind and heart before God. She is a lady of prayer and God had some answers to her questions that would give her peace of heart and mind.

God is faithful.

This may seem like I am in an eternal circle in describing what happened, but I am just trying to make a couple of points. First, God was definitely speaking in this matter, and second we had to connect or develop a deeper friendship and fall in love or none of those voices or words mattered and it all had to happen naturally without pressure.

Wanda is well respected by all that know her. My family all have affirmed my life and walk. Wanda loved Jim deeply and I respected him and Wanda. I loved Kristy with all my heart and Wanda respected Kristy and me. All of our relationships had been honorable and pure.

When these unusual happening began to occur, I didn't tell anyone. I kept them in my heart. I waited to see if things would turn toward Wanda. I am writing this story reflecting back and now have a greater confidence it what happened and those "words" and "voices" that all pointed toward Wanda.

But we still hadn't fallen in love. Our relationship was one of mutual respect. Years ago we had a work relationship with honor and no attraction. There was no reason for attraction.

Admiration? Yes.

Respect? Yes.

Attraction? No.

We were both very happy with our marriages and had worked hard to have great marriages and worked hard to honor God in our marriages.

So how did respect, honor, admiration turn into love?

The more we talked on the phone nightly the more common interests, purpose, goals, and future began to collide in a good and peaceful way. We liked talking. We like talking to each other. We have commonality. There just was an amazing connection taking place.

To be honest about it I really didn't know that Wanda could talk that much. She had always been so quiet around me.

She always was, "Yes sir to me." or "No sir."

Could I get that to continue? That is a little joke....very little. That certainly wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted now. I did not want a boss" relationship as we had years earlier.

I didn't want to hear "Yes sir" from her. I wanted something dear, sweet, loving, and filled with kindness from her.

I know we must have had conversations of some length in the past, but I can't ever remember a one of them. We talked but we didn't talk so much. She was quiet. Respectful. Dutiful. Efficient. Kind. Thoughtful.

But she wasn't a talker.

At least that is what I thought.

Now we couldn't get off the phone. We had clear, good, common communication. I was liking what I was hearing. The common interests were connecting, clicking, and coming at a very fast pace. The more we talked the more I liked and the more I liked the more I.....

Was this turning into love?

Quiet. Respect. Dutiful. Efficient. Kind. Thoughtful.

Was all that now turning into a new love?

All those words and voices were standing behind me. They were helping affirm and solidify that this was a godly, good thing. It was feeling right not because I felt that I had to fall in love because I had no choice in the matter. I wasn't about to make a relationship "happen" to fulfill a wish by Kristy or a voice the came to me in the night or to make Jennifer's blurted out word come true.

If we couldn't love each other because we love each other then all those experiences would just become unusual happenings that I would look back on one day with more humor than anything else.

So how did Wanda process me telling her that Kristy said she was the one for me? It took her several days to work through what I had shared. She is mature and not gullible or easily shaken, but this was a fairly bold move on my part.

Or was it?

Did God have me to blurt that out or no? Looking back I think that God was in that to move the relationship in a more serious, faster moving manner.

Wanda did process it and she did by waiting on God and letting Him prove himself. She told me later that I was moving too fast. What I had told her about Kristy knowing who God wanted me to marry caused her to take pause and go to God in prayer. She could have easily been totally turned off by all this, but she did respect Kristy and admired Kristy as a mentor. She know the life that Kristy lived and had respect for me even though this was one surprising jolt.

Somehow and I am not sure how but we worked through that and now it seems to both of us that somehow it was amazingly providential that I said that to her. There may have been subconscious pychological ramifications to all of this, but it wasn't planned or contrived or made up. This is a real story told with real honesty with real hearts to honor God.

After a few days the calls continued and liking began to turn into .....

WANDA: "I AM PROCESSING..."

2009-01-03T07:00:00.005-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I waited to get an email back to me from Wanda after my first and only snail mail letter to her but several days passed with no response. She had sent me a brief text message wishing me happy birthday and I sent a brief response back to her, I was headed into a counseling session when I received that text and sent one back to thank her and said that I had a counseling session and couldn’t talk or text or something like that. I guess the awkwardness was still there for me.

After a couple more days or so I had not received a letter or email so I called Wanda and asked if she would send me her email address and she said she would but didn’t say when she would. I asked if she could send it soon. She said she would and did and I emailed her and asked if I could call her again. She said that would be OK and in another day or so I called her.

We talked nightly for a number of days and you cannot imagine how much comfort that brought me in the evenings after returning home from a day of ministry and work. Everything seems to go fine during the day but when you pull into a driveway into a garage and walk into a house that used to be a home you can only imagine the hurt, loneliness, and pain that follows.

Wanda became a friend to help blunt the pain. She was a voice to hear my hurt. She took time and with a caring ear and heart helped me. She was a God send. She was a God sent help to me. There was an immediate connect, comfort, and consoling deep within me that was on a very high spiritual level and reached deep to the lowest pains of my mind, spirit, and body.

Our conversations from the very first always ended in prayer. She prayed for me for healing for me and for my children. I prayed for her and her children and for God's healing in her life. She still had some hurt and questions even thought Jim had been in heaven for over five years. A spiritual friendship was blooming. A partnership of faith and trust in God was developing. We laughed and cried and I wept. She understood and comforted.

But it was more than grief comfort or counsel. God was releasing healing and tenderness and we both were feeling it. And God was in the center of it. We prayed and God was in the relationship from the very beginning.

Night after night after work the conversations continued. Finally, after a number of late evening conversations I told Wanda that I had something to say that was going to shock her. I think I said I didn’t know why I am telling you this but I feel like I need to tell you something.

I said to Wanda, “I have something to tell you and it is probably going to shock you.”

I said, “Kristy thought you were the one God has for me. That is what she told my sister Norma.”

The phone line turns to silence.

Cold.

No I didn’t hear at click sound, but I wasn’t sure anyone was still there.

Moments seems like hours or longer. Oh no, I thought. I have made a terrible mistake. I did feel like I was supposed to tell her that. Why I don’t know. We had only been talking a couple of weeks or so. We had not seen each other and had no plans to see each other. But now it was too late to pull those words back into my mouth. They had been said.

“Kristy said you were the one God has for me.”

Finally I said, “Hello, hello. Are you still there?”

There was no answer. No response.

Now there was more concern.

Fear?

Concern?

Mistake?

Is she gone?

Did I scare her away?

Why did I have to say that now? What is she thinking? Will this end it?

I thought in split second timing that surely she will remember that I am not a crackpot or spiritual screwball. Surely she want withdraw over this?

But there was still no answer. I didn’t hear a breathe. A word.

What is happening on the other end of the phone line?

Is she gone?

“Wanda? Are you there?”

No answer.

"Wanda?"

“Are you OK?”

With a soft answer I heard her say, “I am processing.”

Nothing more was said,

"What?"

“I am processing.”

I quickly sputtered something like, “I am not saying Kristy was right. I am not saying that I believe this.”

More words sputtered out of my mouth.

Wanda was processing.

She didn’t overreact. She didn’t giggle. She didn’t say, “Wonderful.”

She didn’t say, “Go jump in the lake. You are a goofball.”

She processed. She waited. She didn’t talk or do anything. It was quite on the other end of the line.

The other end of the line stayed quite for several days. That phone conversation ended somehow. I am not sure how it ended, but it ended.

And she didn’t talk to me for several days.

Thank God I didn’t tell her about the voice that came in the night or what Jennifer had said. That would have been a lot of processing.

I hadn’t told anyone about that voice. I certainly couldn’t tell her about that--at least not now.

MY FIRST SNAIL MAIL LETTER

2009-01-02T07:00:00.017-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

That first phone conversation with Wanda was very awkward and didn’t last long at least as long as phone calls that came later. I will admit I didn’t feel very comfortable talking to you her. I wasn’t really sure why I called her then except I couldn’t get her out of my mind and I had to make sure she was OK. I know that doesn’t sound right in light of all that had happened to me with that voice, and Jennifer’s blurting out about Wanda, and Norma’s brief slip telling me about Kristy’s wishes. But that is what happened and how I felt.

The conversation lasted forty-five minutes or so and centered around my loss of Kristy and some talk about our children. Finally I thanked her for listening to me and for her prayers. I think I ended by saying that maybe we could talk again sometime and finally said good bye or something like that, and our first phone conversation ended.

Several days pasted and I decided to write Wanda a letter. I didn’t have an email address or I would have emailed her, but I looked up her house address and wrote her a letter. It was an awkward letter kind of like the first phone conversation we had. I typed it rather than write it long hand for the reason listed in the letter.

Here is my first letter to her:

Dear Wanda:

Thank you for taking time to talk to me Saturday night. It was obvious that you truly understand how I feel and the hurt that I am dealing with in losing Kristy. I felt awkward in calling you though I don’t know exactly why. As I shared, you had been on my mind for several days and it seemed that I was just supposed to call you. I wondered if the Lord had put you on my heart to help you in some way, but your understanding heart helped me.

I have a long way to go to fully deal with Kristy’s death. You knew her and she thought so very much of you. Kristy and I both were hurt and shocked at Jim’s passing and I will never forget getting the news from my secretary by phone while we were driving away from St. Pete beach returning home from a few days vacation. I had to pull the car over to the side of the road because I was so shaken by the news of Jim’s death.

It amazed me and helped me to hear your insight in the recovering process from losing a spouse. I never thought I would face such a time ever in my life in that Kristy’s a family all lived so long. I just figured she would survive me by fifteen years or more. It is funny how life’s journey can have such unexpected turns.

Sunday the Lord helped me preach and minister to my church. They have all been so kind to me and help me. I have been very blessed to have had the privilege to work with some very wonderful people and know that somehow by His grace that I have more to offer and do for God. The Scripture I chose to preach was taken from II Corinthians 4. You probably don’t remember this, but one day you put those verses on my desk when I was the pastor in Bartow. That is very encouraging portion of Scripture. I preached on the topic, “Don’t Lose Heart.”

Amazingly I am excited about some of the wonderful things God has put in my heart to do. I plan on writing more and traveling and speaking in churches for men and women’s groups. I am going to take a motorcycle course since so many of my friends have them. They have all been after me for some time to get one so I thought I would see if I could pass a motorcycle course. Then, if I feel like I won’t bust my hide, I will see about buying one. Don’t tell my parents about this as they would not like their son getting a motorcycle.

Kristy and I actually went on a three day get a way to Amelia Island a couple years back and stayed at a B&B where they had mopeds, which is a small scooter. She squealed and begged me to slow down, but I told her that if I went any slower we would fall over. She enjoyed it once she got use to riding with me and then wanted to do it more.

I am typing this because my hand writing still stinks. I try to write only my signature as I hate my penmanship so bad. It just doesn’t get better. When I was in Bartow, I found out that Delores Culverhouse would get Cindy to come to the church and try to figure out what I had written for the church bulletin. That’s when I got a dictaphone to use. She was so meek that she would not tell me she couldn’t read what I was scribbling. You probably remember how bad my handwriting was, though I don’t recall you’re ever saying anything about it.

I am going to be very busy these next weeks with all kinds of projects we are doing in the church. Because of Kristy’s illness and death, I have not been close on hand with so many of the church ministries. They all need attention. We are finishing a total remodeling of our church facilities and are on the home stretch to get it done. I have good help, but there is so much that needs attention and oversight.

Well, I bet you were surprised to get this rambling letter. I just felt a need to write and share from my heart more clearly what was going on in me.

Thanks for listening. My email address is -------------. Please email me so I can have your email address on my file. I have a long way to go to get through this and would appreciate your prayers for me and my girls.

Gratefully,

Milton Dykes

***

Well, that doesn’t sound so romantic does it?

And how about the ending? “Gratefully? What was that?

I spent a few moments trying to determine how to end that letter. Sincerely? With Prayers? Hurting? Scared? Respectfully? Your Former Boss? or Your Former Pastor? Or love? No, I am kidding about several of those possible conclusions, but I could not write the word love. I loved her as I would any parishioner or person but I didn’t love her in the manner I would in a matter of a few weeks.

And what about asking for an email address to put in "my file?"

Does that sound like business or bashfulness?

It was an awkward letter from a hurting guy who God had spoken some very clear words but wasn’t sure what to do about it. I actually wrote the letter and kept it several days before I mailed it. I am not real sure why I did that either, but that is what happened.

She received the letter and sent a text back to me as my cell phone number was on the letter. She wished me a happy birthday as she knew my birthday because I had been her pastor and boss and the church had celebrated my birthday many times while I was her pastor.

But she didn’t send me her email address. I was waiting but she didn’t send it.

HOW DID WE FALL IN LOVE?

2009-01-01T07:00:00.012-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

How do you fall in love with someone over the phone?

That is how it happened. We fell in love on the phone.

I had known Wanda Dunsford for almost thirty years. I led her and her husband to the Lord and baptized them in water. As their pastor, I mentored them and disci-pled and trained them. They became great church leaders while I served as their pastor. My children played with their children.

When we needed a new church secretary, I finally talked Wanda into leaving a great job as a legal secretary and she took a pay cute to work for the church. She worked for me for almost 7 years and then now another 20 years for three other pastors.

All through the years even after I left the church where I had led them to the Lord we had kept in touch. I saw them at church meetings and would be a guest minister at the Bartow Assembly from time to time as those years.

Wanda and Jim had a great marriage and so did Kristy and me. We were friends and enjoying many church life while I was their pastor. They were good, godly people with a high passion to honor God with their lives. My work relationship with Wanda was professional and godly with no attraction. There was no reason as I was totally in love with Kristy and Wanda and Jim were totally in love too.

Before Kristy passed, she told my sister and my daughter Julie that Wanda was the one God had for me. Kristy didn’t tell me, but 10 days after her funeral I was awakened in the night by a surprising, yet comforting voice that came from the corner of the bedroom that said that Wanda was the one God had for me. I was told that she would bless me and my children, and that I would bless her and her children. Then, almost two months later while visiting my other daughter Jennifer, she blurts out that she knew who God had for me and told me that Wanda was the one God had for me.

So, how did we connect? What brought us together? How did we fall in love? Did God speak anything like I have just described to her or any of her family? Why would she ever believe such a story? Should I ever tell her about these events? Should I believe these events were real or had any real value to me? What should I do about any of this?

There are even more questions than those in the previous paragraph. Should I try to make all the prophetic words turn into reality? Does God even work in such a fashion? Was this just a emotional fixation that all of us had?

Well, I can tell you right off that I wouldn’t try to fulfill Kristy’s wish just to do what she might have wanted. The obvious is that Wanda had and has a will and say in all this. She couldn’t and wouldn’t fall into a prophetic, emotional dream by anyone and neither would I. She is a woman in her own right with a great life and she wasn’t looking for all this to happen.

The relationship we had as two couples was godly and good. Wanda was and is a professional and our relationship was in a professional and godly way when she worked for me. She and Kristy were good friends and Jim and I were good friends. That was how it was and continued all of these years. I had and have the highest respect for her family and their christian walk and witness.

So what happened? How did all this come about? How did we fall in love? How did this happen so quickly?

I am trying my best to tell this story in the clearest and most honest and transparent manner that I can. I don’t have to write this, but I feel in another way compelled to write our love story. I do not think that I can conclude my writing on this blog until I share this story. I believe that there are those whom God will use this story to encourage and bless and build their faith so I am trying to write to honor His call on my life.

***

After leaving Jennifer in Puerto Rico when she told me that Wanda was the one God had for me, then something happened in me. I do not believe that I would have ever contacted Wanda without something happening in me to “push” me into some action or consideration of pursuing her, but when Jennifer spoke to me about Wanda there was an unexpected confirmation in my spirit about God had told me earlier about Wanda. I could not or would not have contacted Wanda without Jennifer blurting out what she did.

Jennifer’s words triggered something in me. I couldn’t get Wanda off my mind. Yes, I had known her for almost thirty years, but it had been years since I had any conversation of any consequence with her. I obviously spoke with her when Kristy and I went to see her at Jim’s death. I helped preach Jim’s funeral and I talked with her then.

Wanda did come to Kristy’s funeral and she spoke to me briefly to me She gave me a verse of Scripture that had been a comfort to her after Jim’s death. She told me that God kept speaking to her to be still and know that I am God. She said she was so sorry and that she had been praying for the girls and me and had prayed for Kristy. She told me she daily had read Kristy’s blog and followed her story.

Other than a couple of speaking engagements where Kristy spoke to ladies groups in Central Florida and I had driven her to them and Wanda attended with other ladies from her church, what I have just written is fairly close to the sum total of our contacts and conversation.

But when I left Jennifer’s house, things changed. I couldn’t get Wanda out of my mind. I wasn’t thinking so much at all about the voice that spoke to me in the night or what Jennifer had said to me. My thoughts just kept turning to Wanda. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. I began to wonder if something was wrong with her? I felt I needed to talk to her, but what could I say to her? Would she even talk to me? I was single. She was single. Talking to her would be awkward at best since we were both single now. It was too soon to talk to her anyhow. Would would people think? What would be talk about? Would she even talk to me?

Finally I called my sis Norma, and told her what was going on in my mind. I told Norma that there was this woman who kept coming to my mind and that for days I couldn’t keep her off my mind. I told Norma that I didn’t know why this was happening or and that I didn’t know what to do about it. I certainly didn’t tell her about the voice that came to me in the night or even what Jennifer had told me in my recent visit with her.

Norma told me about a family member of Ron’s who lost his spouse and that after a brief period of time that he began to see someone. Seeing Wanda wasn’t what was on my mind at that point. I just didn’t know what to do about her being constantly in my mind.

Finally Norma asked me who this lady was and I told her that it was Wanda Dunsford? Who is Wanda Dunsford, Norma asked?

She is a lady that I led to the Lord years ago in Bartow when we pastored there. I led Wanda and her husband Jim to the Lord and later she worked for me as the church secretary.

“Oh,” Norma responded. “She is the lady that Kristy said.....” and then Norma stopped and said, “I want go there right now.”

Norma kind of changed her train of talk and said that there was nothing wrong with me contacting Wanda and talking to her. Maybe she can help you, she said. Maybe after you talk with her that you’ll know why you should call her. Norma assured me that there wasn’t anything wrong or out of the way about me calling Wanda.

Well, that made me feel better so I called and called and called and couldn’t reach her. I found out later that she was on a ladies retreat. For some crazy reason, I didn’t leave a message for her to get and return my call. So there were a number of calls that showed up on her phone from me.

Finally, later on the next day often my phone conversation with Norma and my numerous calls to Wanda, she actually called me back. I think she was concerned about me in that I had called several times without leaving a message.

I don’t know why I didn’t leave a message. I just didn’t. I was nervous? Scared? Unsure? I don’t know why I didn’t leave a message, but I just didn’t.

When Wanda called back she asked, “Are you OK?”

I told her that she had been on my mind for several days and I couldn’t get her off my mind and that I wondered if everything was OK with her?

She said, “I’m OK, but how are you doing?”

“I’m hurting. This has been a very tough time. God is helping me , but this is very hard.”

“I know,” she said. “Losing Jim was terrible. I know what you’re facing. God will help you and you will make it, but it isn’t easy.

She asked about the girls. Wanda had known them since they were little, and she had kept them in her home. Her children had played with mine. They loved each other though it had been years since they had any contact.

***

I will write more each day and tell how we came to a point of loving each other just by phone conversations. Obviously, love grows in many ways, but this is how it started for us.

Comments are being filtered and will be posted several times each day. I hope that you will continue to comment expressing your thoughts.

I am not offended or taken back by questions of how this happened so quickly or even questions of the validity of some of the affirmations of God's will in this matter. I feel that it is right and Biblically proper to weigh and even judge what had been spoken by others and even what I feel God spoke to me just ten days after Kristy's funeral. I have questioned each of these events and have asked those who are my accountability partners.

Wanda and I are not engaged and will go through pre-engagement counseling as well as I am getting grief counseling. I am very thankful that God has sent Wanda to me at this time. She has shown huge maturity as I write this story. She is one very unusual, special lady. That is what all of my family thinks. That is what I think. That is what God thinks.

WHAT FAMILY THINKS REALLY MATTERS

2008-12-31T07:00:00.008-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Here are family posts that I would like for you to read before I write further about my new love. They have each expressed, along with other family members, their confidence and love for me and this new relationship. I know that some have wondered how this came about so quickly and I have given the best answer I know. God did it and He did it in His time and His way.

Please read these comments from my daughter Jennifer, Kristy's sister Rebecca, and her brother Terry. I think their comments speak to many of the issues and questions some might still have.

***

My daughter Jennifer wrote:

Jennifer said...
Dad, I believe you are doing the right thing sharing this story. It's too wonderful not to. I believe the love developing between you and Wanda is God given.The fact some can't understand that is the exact reason it needs to be told! Without Christ love is distorted, people need to know of the amazing, unique love God offers!

***

Rebecca (Kristy's sister)I read yesterday's blog early in the morning; I just now read the comments from yesterday.

Milton,

Don and I attended Bartow First Assembly when you pastored there. I know Wanda (and Jim) and their children very, very well. Don and I still attend Bartow 1st and so does Wanda. I see her all of the time. I can attest to the fact that there was no "attraction" of that sort; only a desire on your part and Kristy's to mentor Wanda and Jim in their walk with the Lord.And it paid off. They serve(d) the Lord faithfully; they became very involved in the affairs of the church and especially missions.

Their children are grown, married, have children, and best of all love the Lord with all of their hearts and are faithful and committed to their churches.Julie and Jennifer played with Wanda's children while y'all were at Bartow 1st.

We all fellowshipped together. And after you and Kristy left our church, Don and I continued to fellowship with Jim and Wanda.If anyone went into our church right now and asked anyone there what they thought of Wanda, every response would be positive - seriously, there would not be one unkind or negative comment about Wanda.

Just yesterday, our pastor gave an opportunity for people with needs to go and pray. I saw Wanda go down and pray with another couple. She loves God; she does not just sit back; she has a heart for the things of God.I know that you loved Kristy; there is no doubt about how strong and pure your love for each other was.

Kristy knew you were a young man; she did not want you to live alone. Truthfully, I'm glad that the Lord led you to Wanda (and her to you). We have all known her, her character, her family.

I pray God's blessings on you and Wanda and your children and grandchildren.

You are my "brother"; Wanda will be my sister-in-law.

***

Terry Roberts (Kristy's brother) said...

Milton,

I knew you before Kristy did. As one of your college buddies, I was impressed with your devotion to God, yet you were also "real" -- and a lot of fun.

I was glad when you asked my sister for a date and thrilled when you asked her to marry you. I was glad that you would be not only my friend, but family. Over the years I've observed you in all kinds of circumstances -- highs and lows, victories and disappointments. I've always been impressed with the wise and measured way you've handled whatever life served up -- always determined to trust God, no matter what.

You have distinguished yourself among your peers as a solid and gifted man of God. I'm glad you're still "real"-- and still a lot of fun. You're still my friend and you will always be part of my family.

I haven't had the privilege of knowing Wanda as well as others in our family have known her, but from everything I hear from them, I am impressed. I truly rejoice that God has graciously brought someone into your life whose solid reputation as a godly woman is known far and wide.

I don't mean to presume, but if you and Wanda decide to marry, I will welcome her into our family, too.Your brother, Terry

***

Thank you for taking the time to read what these family members have written. Other family members have written of the own initiative and desire without my asking any of them to write. They have all shared their respect for me and trust in my walk and service to God. That really matters to me.

I have written today's post so hopefully most of you will see my sincere and true honest walk to honor Christ and do His will. Serving Him and following His leading is the most important thing and love of my life. That is all I am trying to do now. I am not perfect and have a long way to go, but I am striving to please Him each day of my life.

To continue to write this blog is a labor of love and service to the Lord. I don't have to do this except I honestly feel that it has and will be an encouragement to others and to obey what God has put in my heart to do. It might be easier to let this story unfold without ever being written on the pages of this blog--especially with some comments that have been written without any factual or christian fairness on the commentors part. However, I feel this story should be told so by the help of the Lord I will write it.

I will not write any further to explain or defend what I am doing. My family supports this and that is what really matters. I do fully understand anyone having honest questions as to how this could happen so quickly. I have asked that question too. It is a fair question.

The short answer is that God has brought this about in His time and in His way with the full and complete blessing of my children, Wanda's children, our parents, siblings, and accountability partners. I will follow Him and the godly counsel He has given me.

Tomorrow I will begin telling the story of my new love. You will wipe a tear, smile, and know there is a God who love us and cares about us and is faithful in all His ways.

WHO IS MILTON DYKES? PART II

2008-12-30T07:00:00.003-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Figuring out who you are at this stage of life isn't the easiest thing in the world. Can you believe that I left "Twinkies" off the what I love list? Actually I have found deliverance from them as I have had so much other holiday sweets that have filled the void. I don't guess that really counts as deliverance if you have gone on to hard stuff. Anyhow, I am not eating Twinkies so I left them of the love list.

I also left off tennis, Scrabble, domino's, and a myriad of other things that I will not go to right now. It is an interesting proposition to review who you are at this stage of life though all of us should keep learning, growing, and reevaluating who we are and refocusing on the goals and dreams of our lives.

That is part of this exercise. What are my goals and dreams at this stage? What do I want to accomplish? Where am I headed?

Your comments have been very kind as a number have written who and what you see when you look at Milton Dykes. I wondered after I posted that question if I really should have done that in light of some of the comments in the last week or so, but you have been very kind. In fact your words have been so kind that I think I have got to take it up a bunch of notches just to get close to what you have written about me.

I am regathering myself after the holidays and focusing on 2009. Julie and Jennifer told me that their Mom wrote on this blog after her recovery from brain surgery that she was happy as a lark. They said that if Mom felt happy as a lark while knowing she was dying then we can be happy while we are living.

That is a great revelation. As a family, that is what we choose to do. We are going to live and be happy as a lark. That is what Kristy wanted for all of us.

Why not!

***

Dear Lord:

I pray for Anonymous 8:10 PM yesterday who is battling in a life and death struggle with cancer. I pray for faith, courage, joy, and peace. I pray for healing and strength. I pray for her family and especially her husband. Give them good days of love and laughter. Give her long life. Give her assurance you are with her. You are the mighty, faithful healer.

Amen

WHO IS MILTON DYKES?

2008-12-29T07:00:00.013-05:00

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Singleness after 37 years of marriage brings one back to full circle. I am no longer two, but one. For 37 years I was joined in heart, spirit, faith, and flesh to a godly woman who partnered with me in life and ministry.

Now through death, two has become one again.

So who is the one now left here?

Who is Milton Dykes?

Before 7/21/08 I was a composite with a pretty redhead who made the picture more beautiful. We were truly one but that has all changed and I am wondering again just who is Milton Dykes?

I have not changed in purpose and life calling. I still feel called to preach and to pastor. I still have a great burden to see the lost saved and brought into the Kingdom. I want to see families grow in faith. I still want to make my life count by using my best energies, passion, creativity, sacrifice and commitment for Christ. I was called to preach before I met Kristy and that hasn't changed. My passion to preach has grown more intense and forceful.

My parents would say I was a good boy and teenager growing up and they are still alive and very connected to my life. I think they would say I am a good son and they are very proud of me. My daughters love me and have expressed their confidence and respect for me. I have many wonderful friends all over the world that I cherish and have who shown unusual kindness to me.

Who is Milton Dykes and what do I love?

I love God, my Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit, my daughters, my grandchildren, my parents, my family, friends, Church, unsaved people, Country, apple pie, football, Alabama football, Jaguar football, church work, momma's fried chicken and pound cake, walking, bike riding, jogging, all sports, all food, mediam rare steaks, peanut butter, peanut butter, peanut butter, Sunday afternoon naps and football, travel, history, American history, church history, sports history, world history, writing, finishing writing, neatness, cleanliness, nice smelling perfume and cologne, HD TV, Southern Gospel music, contemporary christian music, classical music, big band music, country music, blue grass music, any kind of good music one can understand, preacher jokes, church jokes, lawyer jokes, funny real life stories, laughter, smiles, funny and clean pranks, family gatherings, family dinners, good friends, being with my closest friends, good movies, old movies, funny movies, clean movies, heart warming movies, clean Seinfeld programs, Bob Newhart shows, Andy Griffith Shows, and lots more.

I like to read the Bible, pray, prepare sermons, teach, mentor, learn, grow, strive for excellence, help others, live by the Golden Rule, help make life easier, get task completed, set goals, dream, brain storm, learn new and more efficient ways to accomplish tasks.

What do I dislike or hate?

I dislike fat on my body, sleeplessness, cooking, cleaning, gossip, cruel acts, ugly looks, spankings, rude people, Alabama Football losses, Jaguar loses, things that need repairing, computers that act cranky, poor losers, overly proud winners, sin, the results of sin, high mindedness, abortion, immorality, divorce, crime, stealing. lying, unfair taxation, communism, socialism, lying political parties, unrighteousness, unjust laws, close mindedness and unwilling to follow God in positive change, dirty cars, dirty house, dirty clothes, dirt, germs, cold, sickness, cancer, all health infirmities, faithlessness, disobedience to God, disrespect for things of God, godless laws, bad smell, stink in any form, bad jokes, and anything that opposes God, disloyalty, and unfairness in any form.

***

Oh, I will write about Wanda again in a few days. So more is coming about my new love. This is a godly new love that will amaze you and even those who are unsure about timing, how, and why. It is a pure love story that began with a voice from heaven. That is how it began for me. I will tell you more soon.

***

If you have something constructive and helpful to write, then I ask you, "Who and what do you see when you see Milton Dykes?"

GRAVE MARKERS

2008-12-28T07:00:00.005-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

What do you want put on your grave marker?

I really haven't ever thought about grave markers until this year after Kristy went to heaven. She planned everything to the max but she never told me what she wanted put on her marker.

I have waited these months to reflect and think what I would put on hers . I felt that Julie and Jennifer and I would talk about that sometime during our Christmas Holidays together and during all the joy, reflections, some tough tears, and celebration of her life we did discuss it.

Visiting her grave hasn't been on my mind even though I actually drive by the cemetery often without even a thought of stopping. In my mind she is not there. She is in heaven. I just haven't felt a need or desire to go there. I certainly understand and respect others who visit their loved one's graves, but thoughts of her are in my mind and heart--not in a cemetery.

I had thought that after the first of the year I would finalize my plans for a marker and what I it should read. My discussion with my daughters wasn't long on this subject. I was working on her blog and read the first part of her bio. There the words were. She had written them for all to read. Florence Littauer wrote a bio quote that Kristy used to begin her bio. I mentioned it to the girls and right off they said that was it.

I thought of using a favorite verse of Scripture. She loved Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you."

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

She often quoted Psalm 56:3 "What time I am afraid I will put my trust in thee."

Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love the Lord...."

Kristy also had several quotes that she loved and had placed in various parts of the house and office. Maybe one of them should be on her marker? There was so much that could be engraved to remember her.

But here is what I will put on her marker. It fits her. It was the essence of her life and how she lived it. She lived her life to glorify God, to bless her husband, children, and family, and to help point the lost to a loving God.

She did it all with -- Pizzazz, Enthusiasm, High Energy

That is Kristy. She had passion for life.

Kristy Roberts Dykes

08/02/51--07/21/08

Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High Energy!

CHRISTMAS AT THE SAN JUAN BEACH

2008-12-27T07:00:00.009-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

We couldn't have Christmas in San Juan without a trip to the beach so Christmas afternoon we all loaded up and headed to a beach in Condado, an area in San Juan. It was windy, but the kiddies loved playing in the water. It was warmer than Florida is right now and has no snow like those of you up North.

When I was a child I remember thinking that going swimming at any pool, river, lake, pond, or beach was like going to heaven. Our kiddies still think that, but life changes and so have my interests in swimming. Walking, jogging, or running the beach is much more preferred to me now.

Living in Jacksonville means that the beach is just minutes from my house and all along I head there for a walk or bike ride. I plan on running the beach when I get back to town as the Jacksonville River Run is coming up in March. I've got to step it up to make that happen. The River Run is a 15 K or 9.3 mile run. I have done it several times, but I am not in very good shape right now. That is the goal when I return home--to get in better shape. I'm headed toward the River Run.

The girls and kiddies have been such a blessing to me this Christmas as well as all my dear friends, church family, and my dear family. I have been blessed and I choose to join with my girls and count our blessings even in this tough season of loss.

"God is so good," Kristy said over and over during her life and even in her illness.

God is so good. God is so good. God is so good to me.

RAIN FOREST FUN

2008-12-26T07:00:00.011-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

****

Julie, Jennifer, Javier, and the kiddies and I drove to El Younque to enjoy the rain forest on Tuesday. It is only 30 minutes or so from San Juan where Jennifer lives. I have been there with them in past

visits but the kiddies wanted to go on a picnic, hike, and play in the water. The water was way too cold for me, but they had a ball.

Listen to the video closely. I was worried about the kiddies getting hurt and then having to haul them 30 minutes way back up a very slick, sloping narrow trail back to the vehicles. These kiddies fall and get hurt in their bedrooms, and I could just see one of them busting a head or breaking an arm or leg. Thankfully, no one got hurt. I guess Kristy had the angel patrol on heavy alert for her kiddies. I keep feeling a nudging to get out of there. It must have been Kristy pushing an angel to tug on on arm.

The hike and picnic was a great fun and good distraction. I am feeling better now and know that there is a hope and a future. My heart has a new appreciation for those who have lost a loved one and are alone during the holidays. Reach out to someone in need that you know is alone today. It will bless you and most of all bless them.

Enjoy the pictures of the rain forest. Puerto Rico is a beautiful island and a wonderful get-a-way for the holidays.

Click on more share options below to watch rain forest video of the kiddies. It is beautiful!

more share options

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!!

2008-12-25T07:00:00.009-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Christmas eve we all went to Jennifer's church for a candlelight service. I took a picture of Julie and Jennifer during the candle lighting. They are beautiful young ladies who make their dad proud.

***

Here is a brief video of the Christmas Musical at Southside Assembly this year where I serve as lead pastor. Our Music Director Mike Hammontree, his wife Dana, and all the singers and sound and lighting teams did a great job.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Click on more share options below to watch video.

Enjoy!

more share options

***

This year Jennifer put up a Christmas tree that had picture ornaments of Kristy with the family. I have to admit that is was extremely hard to look at when I first arrived here, but God is faithful and with the girls help I have been able to celebrate the joy of Christmas. God has been so good to our family. I was blessed to share 37 wonderful years with Kristy and she gave me two beautiful girls. God is so good to me. That is what Kristy would say. God is so good to me.

SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF OLD SAN JUAN

2008-12-24T07:00:00.007-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I am having a blast in San Juan with my kiddies and daughters. They all have lifted Papa's spirits and we're seeing the sights and sounds of San Juan and the Rain Forest. Old

Juan is a very historic place to tour and always has exciting and interesting sights to see. There were three cruise ships in port and hundreds into a few thousand people from all over the world enjoying this sunny Caribbean Island.

Here are some pictures and a video of Caribbean music.

Enjoy!

CLICK ON more info below for a short music video I shot in Old San Juan.

more info

OFF TO SUNNY SAN JUAN

2008-12-23T07:00:00.010-05:00

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing the continuing story of christian romance since Kristy's passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Today, Monday, I drove from Jacksonville to Orlando and flew from there to San Juan, Puerto Rico, to spend Christmas with my grands and two beautiful daughters. I have made this trip before by myself but this will be the first time to go alone to share Christmas with by family. It is also the first time we have been together, both daughters and me, ever without Kristy. That makes for a double whammy--first time together since Kristy’s funeral and first Christmas together without Kristy.

For some reason I had not thought about us being together for the first time since her funeral. I guess I knew Christmas was coming and that we would be alone without her, but I just didn’t think about it being the first time that we would all see each other and be together. It really slammed me over the weekend as I packed and contemplated us sharing Christmas and being with the grands and everyone together without Kristy.

I talked with the girls and blueness began to settle in that I wasn’t prepared to handle. Tears and more tears began to flow. It became surreal all over again, and then over and over again it was surreal. Questions began to run over and over in my mind. Why? How? Fairness? Past? Future?

The girls sensed what was happening to me as they too were facing the stark reality of loss.

Jennifer called me at the airport before I took off to make sure I was OK. My girls are really good girls. They are wonderful, caring, loving sweet young ladies--not girls anymore. They are my flesh and blood. They came from a loving relationship with a good, godly, gifted woman. Sweetness doesn’t begin to describe them. I have been so proud and thankful for them in this journey. They have grown up some and realized even more the importance of living with purpose. That is how thieir parents have lived and now their Mom is gone. They are flollowing close in Kristy;s footsteps. That makes me proud.

Jennifer said to me, “Dad, Mom is alive. She is well and enjoying heaven. She isn’t gone. She just went a little ahead of us. We are going to focus on what we have, our blessings, what we can be thankful for. We aren’t going to dwell on the loss. We are going to count our blessings."

Wow, that picked me up. I knew those words, but I needed to hear them. Jennifer said them to me for her, for Julie, and for her Mom. That is what Kristy would say. Jennifer said it for all of us.

***

Wanda drove from Bartow to the Orlando Airport to see me off. She is off to visit her family for Christmas. Having someone present to show kindness helps too. Our relationship is far more than grief counseling or grief comfort. But today it was about grief comfort. She has to be the sweetest, kindest lady in the world.

God sent me someone to help me walk beyond the valley. I am very grateful. I will walk farther, but today I had to take a pause to gather myself again. The journey will get better. I know.

Everything is going to be OK.

FACING THE GREAT DEPRESSION ALONE

2008-12-22T07:00:00.002-05:00

My father emailed me about a very unfair place in his life and family. All of us face tough times that don't make sense. Only heaven knows the full record of how God took a very bad place and worked it for eternal purpose. My Granny Dykes was one special lady--a lady who trusted God.

Dad wrote:

It was May, l929. The great historical depression had just occurred. My Dad, Milton's grandfather, accidentally fatally shot himself. He owned and operated a dairy farm in Andalusia, AL. Deliveries were made twice daily to residencies. He was preparing to make the evening route. No one ever knew what he was doing with the shot gun.

My Mother had just returned home mid-afternoon from shopping and heard the shot gun blast as she was getting out of the car. She rushed into the house to discover my Dad lying on the floor and drawing his final breathes. She didn't hear a final word from him. My Dad was 38 when he died and my Mother was 37.

She was left with nine children that ranged in age from 6 months to 20 years old. Since my Dad managed the dairy and Mother was the homemaker she didn't know how to operate the business. With the responsibility of caring for the nine children it is suddenly her lot to care for the business also. Customers had fallen on bad financial times and had no means to pay their milk accounts. The financial difficulties she faced were indescribable.

It was thru God's mercies she and the family survived. All the children grew up and became God fearing Christians. Three became Ministers. The eldest who was one of the ministers died this past August at age 99. Six of the nine children are still living and serving God. My Mother remained a widow and died at age 76.

Life is unfair, but God is good.

***

If you are facing a bad spot, don't lose heart. Trust God. Cast your care upon Him. He cares and will see you through. He saw Granny Dykes and her brood of 9 through the Great Depression. He will see you through your depression.

***

I'm flying to San Juan, Puerto Rico today. Soon you'll see pretty pictures from the beautiful Caribbean. My grands and daughters are waiting to see me. It is a tough time for all of us, but God will help us. He never fails.

FAMILY REALLY MATTERS

2008-12-21T07:00:00.005-05:00

I cannot and do not post all the comments, but they all have blessed me and my family. Here is one from yesterday I had to share:

Anonymous said...

Softening spirits...that's what I'm feeling here. God is allowing this new chapter in your life to penetrate our hearts. Softly, so softly God whispers to us....ever so gently He moves to let us know that He is STILL an awesome God and He MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

Gentle Spirit, like a breeze

Heavenly Father, how we believe

You are timely in your moves

A cloud of peace, our faith's renewed...

The very whisper of Your Name

Makes us bow; your truths proclaim

We feel your presence, and like a flame

Its warmth allows us to heal again

HEAL again, Heal again

Like a gently, soothing rain...

Milton, these words flowed from my heart, in song...as God gave them to me....He's so Good.

Cathy

11:38 PM

***

A lifelong college friend, minister, and respected leader told me that family and their feelings are all that really matters in the process and healing from the loss of dear spouse to the transition to a new love. He said that when it occurs and when it is acceptable to occurring is up to the person and the family. Obviously, there are many other considerations in this process, but the ultimate issue is family--what they think and when are they ready and open to proceed with opening your heart and life to someone new.

Those words came to me early on after I had returned from a month of sabbatical rest and then a brief visit with my daughters. By the time I heard this I had been told by Jennifer who she felt that the Lord had for me and I wasn't even asking or thinking in those terms. These words came to me unexpectedly like so many other things that had been shared, but my friends words had significant impact on me and how I thought through the process of what I would do and how I would proceed.

Slowly over a period of weeks there was a process of change, some healing, and openness to what God had said in that voice that came to me in early morning just ten days after Kristy's funeral. I didn't ask for any of those thoughts, voices, words from my daughter, or advice from my friend. All of this just happened.

There were many other "words" that I had given to me and it was amazing how they all pointed in one direction. I will write about some of that later, but I make note all of it now just to write that I came to a conclusion that one thing I know happened--God did speak to me early on that Sunday morning.

If you go back and read what I posted about the minutes leading up to Kristy's death you will see that I wrote twice in her last moments that I asked Kristy when she saw Jesus to tell Jesus to send me some help. I didn't ask or wasn't thinking about what or who that help would be. I just asked Kristy to tell Jesus to send me some help. Jesus was in the room and I could have asked Him myself. However, I knew she was about to see Him face to face and I wanted her to ask Him for me when she saw Him.

I believe that when Kristy walked through those gates of pearl onto those streets of gold that it wasn't long before she mentioned to Gabriel that she would like to tell Jesus about her husband's request for Him to send me some help. I believe she told Jesus and Jesus told me who that help was for me and my family. That voice which came to me early one morning ten days after Kristy's funeral was God's response to Kristy's request on my behalf.

That is what I believe.

***

I will take a break from writing this story and write about my family and our Christmas together through the holidays. This has been a busy Christmas season already for me and Monday I will fly to sunny San Juan, Puerto Rico for a few days visit with my daughters and grands.

There is no Christmas tree up in my house this year and I haven't put my lights and Christmas decorations out in the yard like I normally do. The girls didn't feel like coming home and wanted me to join them in San Juan--so that is the plan.

Part of my Christmas gift to them was to buy tickets to San Juan for Julie, Alex, and Nic. They are already there and waiting for Papa to fly down on Monday. So you're in for some pictures from Puerto Rico.

Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas everybody!

JIM DUNSFORD WAS A GREAT MAN

2008-12-20T07:00:00.004-05:00

Jim's reference for ministerial credentials set on my desk. I had led he and his wife, Wanda, to the Lord many years ago after they attended my first church service as the new pastor of Bartow First Assembly of God. I visited them in their home that first week after my first sermon there, and I remember the openness and receptivity they had to my visit and the hunger that seemed to be in their hearts to have more of God in their lives.

I was about to leave their house when a small voice inside me said, "Ask them if they would like to invite me into their hearts. They want me in their lives."

"Would you like to invite Jesus into your hearts," I asked?

Jim spoke up and they both nodded yes.

They repeated the sinner's prayer and you could see an instant change in their countenances. They were saved, believers, born again and you could tell it. There were tears streaming down their cheeks and you could see the difference in them.

Now years had passed and Jim was ready to retire and follow the Lord in missions work overseas. I looked long and hard at that reference form and with joy and thanksgiving. Jim and Wanda had made a difference for Jesus. They had faithfully served the Lord and raised there two children to serve Him. It was easy to fill out his reference application. I knew him as a young believer. I had discipled him and Wanda. I had watched them serve as some of the most faithful church members you could ever hope to have in your church.

And now at retirement Jim wanted to use the remainder of his life to serve Jesus by helping people in foreign lands find the Lord. You have to know that holding that application made me feel like my efforts as a pastor had made a difference. I felt that I had done something significant and it made me want to keep up my efforts for the Kingdom.

Quickly I checked off the app. with top scores. Jim had it. He had it together. There were no questions or reservations in filling out a reference for this man. I had filled out and graded hundreds of applications as the chairman of the credential screening committee for our state denomination, but this was the easiest one I had ever filled out or graded.

A few months later, the phone rang and Jim was on the line.

"Hey, preacher," Jim said. "How about making a trip to minister in Cuba with me and our church? You have been down there, haven't you? We'd like for you to help lead a group of men from our church. What do you think," He asked?

I agreed to go with his group, but later my life took another turn and I became pastor of my present congregation and didn't think that a mission's trip at that time was going to work for me. I called Jim and told him that I would have to pass on his trip to Cuba and that later we might could do something together.

That was my last conversation with Jim. We never got to talk again.

***

My cell phone rang as we pulled out of the hotel in St. Petersburg, FL where we had just enjoyed a weeks vacation. The person on the end of the line from my church office said someone in Bartow had died and they said I needed to call them.

"Someone named Jim had died," the caller said.

"Wait a moment," I responded. "Let me pull my car off to the side of the road. You said Jim died. It can't be. Jim can't be dead."

But he was. He wasn't feeling well at work and slumped over and had a heart attack. Kristy and I drove straight to Bartow and met Wanda and her children, Mark and Jennifer, and their spouses.

I looked at Wanda and saw brokenness, shock, and sorrow. Her tears of grief are even now etched in my mind. This was such a fine family. They lived right. They did right. They deserved better. Jim was a great christian gentleman. How could this be? Why did it have to be? They shouldn't have to go through this.

The next day I stood with Mike, Jim and Wanda's pastor, and helped preach Jim's funeral.

That was five years ago.

Sometimes, life isn't fair.

***

Tomorrow, another page will turn.

A DAUGHTER'S LOVING INSIGHT....

2008-12-19T07:00:00.007-05:00

San Juan, Puerto Rico is a great place to visit. The island is beautiful and the people are fun and friendly. My youngest daughter Jennifer has lived there for over ten years and has a Hispanic husband and two gorgeous children. After a month sabbatical and a week back at my church, I took one more week to get-a-way to visit them and enjoy the Caribbean sun.

Jennifer is a bubbly, beautiful young women with her mother's funny sense of humor. We have a ball when we get together and she always has something happening. Both daughters, Julie and Jennifer, are wonderful young women and make their dad feel very proud.

We bike, walk Old San Juan, picnic in the parks, and stroll the tourist areas of San Juan. It makes for a great trip to go there to see the Caribbean play land.

After I had been there for a day or so Jennifer shocked me with a rather straightforward conversation. Jennifer wrote the following a couple days back for me to include in this blog.

Jennifer wrote:

Dear Dad,

Looking back I feel the Lord was preparing me for what is ahead of all of us. It was a very odd thing because after mom's death it was like the Lord brought Wanda to my mind and I couldn't shake it.

Before mom died she told me you would quickly find a new wife and that she would be a great help. At the time it broke my heart and angered me, but something inside told me to be quiet and listen to what mom was saying, I knew later her words would have great meaning. So I just soaked in all she had to say and mentally filed it away as something I hoped would never come true.

Before you came to visit in September I could feel the Lord slowly changing my heart, from bitterness over the thought of you with another wife to great joy that unusual blessing could soon come to all of us through Wanda. Peace came over my heart and I felt I knew that Wanda was the one God had for you.

When you came in September I didn't know if I should say anything to you or not. But again I couldn't shake it and finally blurted out "Dad I know who you're going to marry."

You stopped me and said you didn't want to hear it or talk about it. By your angry reaction I thought I'd blown it. I couldn't figure out how those words had left my mouth! I thought, oh great now I've gone and scared dad to death and messed up God's plans. But I began to pray "Dear Lord, this is way bigger than me and I'm sorry if I messed up, I'm sorry if I spoke too soon." And so I committed it to the Lord, trusting that if it really was His plan that He would bring it all about in His way and timing. I prayed God would open your heart to the great blessings in store, that no fear or grief would rob you of what He has for you.

But before you left to return home we talked again and I told you who I felt God had for you. You didn't say much but told me that you knew who I would say even before I told you.

I'm so proud of you! You are a shinning example of God's true love. You loved and honored mom with all your heart and soul. Never could one love more deeply. Now God has given you a new love and you've handled this new relationship with such respect for all involved. I'm so proud you're my dad, you deserve all the happiness and love God has for your future.

We will always love and honor mom. A new love doesn't change that, to me it enhances it and shines forth the great love and mercy God has for us all. God bless you and Wanda.

***

Milton here again:

After that conversation with Jennifer which was almost two months after I heard that voice in my bedroom, now things were beginning to turn over and over in my mind. On my way back to Tampa for a couple more days with Julie and her kiddies, I pondered the words I had heard in the early morning:

"Wanda Dunsford is the one I have for you. She will bless you and bless your children, and you will bless her and bless her children."

There began to be hope, comfort, and peace in my heart. When I was losing Kristy, one of the points of anger in my heart was that I didn't want another love. I didn't want her baggage, her family, her issues, or children if she had any. I only wanted Kristy. But something happened in my heart and mind when that voice spoke to me. I felt a soothing in my spirit. I felt peace. It would be OK. No, I didn't know or have a clue how this would come down or happen or if it would happen, but there was peace and hope. I would live again someday. The grief and pain of a year's heartache was releasing and I was finding some sense of assurance that I would be OK. Kristy told me I would be OK and now I felt through Jennifer and through the soft voice of the Holy Spirit that I would be OK.

So, who is Wanda Dunsford and how do I know her? No she is not an exotic dancer but she is a beautiful lady and she is very sweet and kind and she doesn't have red hair. And I found out later that she was Kristy's pick for me.

So who is Wanda Dunsford?

Another page turns tomorrow.

A SOFT VOICE SPEAKS IN THE NIGHT

2008-12-18T07:00:00.014-05:00

The journey had been long and I was hurting bad, real bad. Kristy was in heaven and I was here alone and feeling pain in my physical, spiritual, emotional, mental being. Yes, I did feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit and I had so many friends--hundreds and into the thousands who were praying for me. But the months of pain watching my beloved suffer and leave this world had taken a harsh toll.

I had just returned from a brief get-a-way to Steinhatchee, Fl. Does anyone remember where Steinhatchee is? My sis Norma and her husband drove me to a condo provided by mutual friends and I rested and recovered for several days there and then had returned to my home.

It was my first night back to sleep in my master bedroom where Kristy passed. I wondered if I could sleep there and if I could stay in our home? Would I have to sell it and how was all this going to come down?

Early in the morning just ten days after Kristy's funeral, I was awakened by a voice that came from the corner of the bedroom where I held Kristy's hand and placed it in Jesus' hand as she left this world for heaven. The voice wasn't Kristy's and it wasn't audible. It was surprising and mildly shocking but at the same time I felt unusual warmth, peace, comfort as the voice spoke to me.

The voice was very strong and clear and I heard these words, "Wanda Dunsford is the one I have for you. She will bless you and bless your children, and you will bless her and bless her children."

And that is all the voice said. I was amazed, stunned somewhat, but yet there was sweet comfort and peace. I felt it was God's voice and I held it closely in my heart. No one else heard it. I guess some reading this might not believe such a thing happened or ever happens. I wasn't thinking about the future. I wasn't looking to move ahead in any manner toward a new relationship or new love, but the voice spoke--what I have just described happened.

There was warmth, peace, and a feeling like soothing oil that moved over me. I can't adequately explain it, but this is what I felt.

So, what do you do when such a voice speaks to you? These were unusually unexpected words. They were words that would change my life forever if they were really true words from God.

For me, I let this rest in my heart and went on toward healing and recovery from a very bad storm in my life. I did not tell anyone. I certainly did not contact Wanda. I was hurting all too bad for anything like that. I hadn't asked God for direction in this matter and then heard this voice as a response to my prayer. I hadn't prayed or thought about anything like this. Everything was all too fresh, too raw, to surreal to move ahead. It was only ten days after Kristy's funeral.

The voice spoke to me early on that Sunday morning and later I got dressed and went to my church and heard my brother-in-law, Ron McGee, preach. The next morning I got into their SUV with them and headed North to the Carolina's for a month sabbatical. To be honest, I didn't think about this voice for several weeks. There was no reason to think or act or do anything about this. Remember, I didn't ask for this to happen to me and I assure you if I had done something about it at that time Wanda wouldn't have talked to me or been open to me. She is a lady and would have spurned any advances that I might have made at that time. It wasn't in me to do anything like that because I wasn't ready. I wasn't sure about what had happened and what to do about it. I didn't ask for this and didn't have a clue how any of this would ever work out or if this was something that I wanted to work out. And, obviously Wanda would have a say in all this. She might not feel this was God or might not like or love me or might not want to be a pastor's wife or might not.......

Four weeks passed and I returned to Jacksonville from my sabbatical and preached one Sunday and then left for another few days off to see my daughters and grands. No one knew what had happened. I didn't think about it and obviously didn't talk to anyone about this voice and what I had heard.

I drove to Tampa to see Julie and Alex and Nic and then flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico for another few days with Jennifer, Javier, Claudia, and Lorenzo.

There is a reason why that voice spoke to me and I will explain why in a future post. It took me weeks to understand and fully accept what had happened early that Sunday morning, but over and over the Lord confirmed it in my mind and heart. Still I didn't tell anyone.

God had spoken to Kristy and she told Julie and Norma--though she never talked to me about Wanda--and now God had spoken to me. How would God speak to Wanda? Would she be open to God or to me if I ever contacted her? Would we be attracted to each other? How would all this to come to pass?

Wait until you read what happened there in Puerto Rico with Jennifer. This is an amazing story of love. Another page turns tomorrow.

WHO DID KRISTY TELL ABOUT MY NEW LOVE?

2008-12-17T07:00:00.003-05:00

Who did Kristy tell about the new love to come? How did she know who the love would be? Why did she tell others who the new love would be? Was she a prophetess? Was it a wild guess? Was she just being pushy?

Kristy told Julie who God had for me not too long after her brain surgery. She sat Julie down and said that ????? would make me a wonderful wife and that ?????? was a sweet, kind lady who would be a great help to me and would take care of me. Julie said that her mother was very clear and direct in what she thought and that Kristy wanted the best for me. Kristy said that ?????? was the one God had for Milton.

That is amazing. Now remember, Kristy never told me her wishes. We never talked about who God had for me. I will admit that the one time she talked to me about God bringing a new wife into my life which really upset me. I just couldn't stand it. So we never talked about that again, ever.

Julie only just told me this story just a few days back. So how did I come about calling this lady? Hold on with me just a while longer. There is still more back story to write.

***

Now read what my sis Norma emailed me on Monday. This is the second person Kristy told that ????? should be my new love.

Norma emailed:

One day when Kristy and I were sitting in the den she told me she had something very important to tell me. Kristy was already very weak and she knew her health was failing fast. So, I wondered what she would tell me.

She had talked to me several times about Milton and how much he needed companionship...she was concerned about leaving him...and this time she began by talking about this again. Then, she said that she believed she knew who Milton should marry when she died.

Because I have been in a battle with cancer for several years, I understood her attention to this concern. One time when I was not doing so well I wrote a letter to my husband with my thoughts on who he should consider. Later, when I was doing better I shredded the letter!!

So, Kristy began to tell me about a lady who is a member of a church that Milton pastored years ago. She said that she would be a perfect fit for Milton and that when the time was right that I should talk to Milton about her. Kristy told me her name and made me promise to remember.

When Milton called me and told me that he felt a strong direction from the Lord to call a lady that he had pastored years ago, I remembered Kristy's instructions. I did not tell Milton at first because I wanted to see what his interest would be.

When I could tell that he definitely was interested, I told him about this amazing conversation. Kristy was always taking care of people's needs....especially Milton's...!!!

***

So l guess the obvious question is am I trying to fulfill Kristy's wish or prophetic word? The answer is no. Neither Kristy, Julie, or Norma told me about who the new love would be. While I love Kristy and honor her with all my highest desire, I could not move toward this new love with her push. More had to happen, and besides we never talked about who this new love would be.

But the obvious is that it is coming to pass. So, does God speak to us in this manner. Was Kristy kind, caring, or concerned or was she meddling in the wrong places?

How did I come to find a new love and woo her? Why did she respond to my advances? How can I be so confident in all this? Why do all our families and my accountability partners support this love?

I will write more soon.

***

Here are a couple of comments from a previous post that I would like everyone to read.

Anonymous said... (My sister Tricia wrote)

Milton, I tried yesterday to post a comment, but it did not go through for some reason. I would like to express the sentiments of Milton's family (parents and siblings) if I may. We are all very happy for you and very thankful for the person God has chosen for you. She has been my friend for over 28 years now and we all hold her in highest esteem. She is a woman of integrity and has many talents and abilities to use in God's Kingdom. May God bless you both as you follow after His will.
Tricia

Dad Dykes said...

Amen, Tricia! Those are our sentiments too. We met Milton's new love the first time for lunch on Nov. 29, 2008, Milton's treat to celebrate his parent's 64th Wedding Anniversary. When he introduced her to us my first comment to her was, "I would like to nominate you for Miss America."

She is a wonderful Lady and we trust she will become our new Daughter-in-law.

Dad & Mom Dykes

KRISTY SAID IT

2008-12-16T14:30:00.004-05:00

It is going to be OK. Kristy said that to me over and over. There are lots of unanswered questions in this story, but who wants to read a boring love story? Great stories are stories with all the boring parts taken out.

The one comment from the potential in-law was from a son-in-law. It was the loving protective son-in-law of my new love. He dearly loves his mother-in-law and just had to have a protective say. Don't you wish you had a son-in-law who would stand up as strongly for you even if it was straight forward. I assure you they are wonderful, fine people. I have known my loves daughter all her life, and she is as sweet and kind as her mother. This love story will bear all that out.

Writing this story slowly gives room for a lot of loose ends and questions. Trust me. Kristy knew. She said it. Kristy said, "Everything is going to be OK."

I will try to write faster, but the story will have to come out as it comes out. Does that make any sense? What do they say about love? It is deaf, dumb, and blind. You are going to be amazed at what I am going to write.....just wait.

Just a brief question. Don't you think that my new love has to be a very mature and wonderfully sweet lady to read this story and the comments written and still have a cute smile on her face?

My new love is one amazing lady--a great lady!

KRISTY CHOSE MY NEW LOVE

2008-12-16T00:30:00.001-05:00

Kristy chose my new love. How is that for a title? It is true though, and you will have to wait to read the rest of the story to find out how that happened. It is amazing!

Don't worry everything will work out ok. My new love is young, but not too young. She will turn twenty-five next month. I feel she is getting closer to the Lord and may soon make a decision for Christ. Thankfully she will give up her exotic dancing on Wednesday nights so she can attend prayer meeting, and we think she just might get her four kids back in a few months if all goes well. She has overcome most of her addictions, except for occasional smoking. But other than that, everything looks like clear sailing.

Not!

That is the introduction that Kristy's brother Terry told me to tell of my new love. He felt that in a humorous and funny way that anything I told about my new love after telling that would sound wonderful.

The truth is my new love is wonderful and more.

My new love is a sweet, kind, gifted, and beautiful lady who Kristy mentored as a new convert many years ago in a past church where we were pastors.

I know all this seems awkward to read since Kristy and I loved each other deeply, strongly, so closely. Go back and read our love story. You will see that I have written daily for a year about my redheaded gal.

How can there be sudden change like this? I haven't quit loving Kristy and I never will. This new love is just that. It is a new love. It is an amazing love. It is the love that the Lord has for me.

How can this be?

The answer is that this new love story flew off the wings of my first love through Kristy's selfless heart. At least twice before she died, Kristy told family members who my next wife was and should be. She didn't tell me because in our one conversation that she initiated to tell me that God would send me another wife my heart broke. I begged her to never go there again, and she didn't with me.

My present love started in Kristy's heart and came to me from heaven. This new love is a love from heaven that has turned my head. It is that--plan and simple. No, I am not trying or going to fulfill a honest desire from Kristy's heart to marry the one she wanted. This is far more than honoring a wishful thought. You will be amazed to read how and why this love came about so quickly. Please be patient and allow the story to unfold.

I will tell you more of how Kristy told Julie, my daughter, and my sis Norma who that next special one in my life would be. Kristy always planned ahead and she planned ahead for me. Wow, that gal really, really love me.

As your read this unfolding story, you will wipe a tear, smile, and know there is a God in heaven Who loves us and cares for us and never fails.

I assure you that Kristy and my new love's husband, Jim, are watching from heaven and enjoying every spark of every moment.

***

To fill in the blanks of a few concerns from the comments of the yesterday's posts, please read the following:

1. I have mature accountability partners who are watching over my life and holding me to spiritual accountability. They know all that is going on in this relationship.

2. We are not engaged or married and we are waiting until next year for those plans to unfold. Waiting is the better part of prudence.

3. Our children are totally aware, pleased, and thankful for what God is doing in our lives. We have their full blessings.

4. Our parents, siblings and family are all very happy about what God is doing in this relationship.

5. Generally I would never counsel a couple to enter into a relationship as quickly as I have after losing a spouse, but there are exceptions to every rule. I guess that sounds self-serving, but nevertheless it is still true.

6. I have received professional counseling in this process and my new love and I will go through pre-engagement counseling.

7. Isn't it fun to fall in love?!

8. Enjoy this story of love and faith. Pray for us and don't be afraid to share you hopes, concerns, and thoughts. This is a transparent story of christian love to inspire and bless others.

9. My grief process has not ended but my new love is a God send to help in this process for me and my family. I have not changed my feelings of loving and helping my girls and grands during this holiday season. We will be spending Christmas together in Sunny Puerto Rico. My new love will be with her family here in Florida.

10. You will need to hear all the story to grasp the full wonder of this incredibly amazing love. Friends and family who know the rest of the story have wiped tears, smiled, and realized that there is a God in heaven who loves us and cares for us and will never fail us.

THOUGHTFUL WORDS FROM JENNIFER

2008-12-15T21:23:00.004-05:00

Jennifer called this evening and read the following which she was going to make as a comment to the last post. I felt it should be read by everyone. Here are some loving words from a very special daughter and lady.

Here are Jennifer's words:

This is Jennifer, Milton and Kristy's youngest daughter. This whole story is an amazing thing. You have got to know that my Dad would never do anything to hurt us. This is an amazing story that truly reflects God's love.

Some will say it's too soon. But what does time matter? One year from now we will all still love and miss my mom. We aren't going to forget her now or in the future.

Love that comes from God is pure and true and when you find that, why not embace it? Love is a good thing. Love doesn't hurt. God knows our needs, He knows what we can handle.

As for comparing my Mom, why would any of us do that? There was only one Kristy. We are all unique and with our own talents. This person God has brought into my Dad's life is very special too and a wonderful blessing, you will soon see as the story unfolds!

***

Tomorrow another page turns in this amazing love story.

AMAZING SELFLESS LOVE...

2008-12-15T07:00:00.004-05:00

Kristy wrote the following last year on Christmas eve on this blog. I am sharing this because it is the beginning of God preparing me through Kristy's selfless love for the place I am today and the future that is before me. She wrote these words and I wept as I read them. God has given me a new love. It is an amazing love, but it goes back to this moment when Kristy wrote:

You'll Get Another Wife....

......It came tumbling out as tears trickled down his cheeks (and this man never cries), and my tears were flowing, too. What if he loses me? What'll he do? He needs me. He can't bear the thought. If it happens, he wants to go with me.

"Milton," I said softly, "if God takes me to Heaven, He will provide you with another wife."

"Don't say that," he nearly shouted.

"But it's true."

"I said, 'Don't say that.'"

"She'll be a good one." I knew there was a twinkle in my eye even though they were brimming with tears. "Like me. She'll help you in church work--"

Great tears poured down his cheeks. "If you say anything about that again, I'm...I'm...I'm getting up and leaving this room. DON'T SAY THAT AGAIN. EVER!"

"Okay, okay, I won't. Ever again."

We grabbed each other, both of us crying.

***

I know that I haven't veiled my thoughts very well these last weeks as many of you know that a new love has entered my life. A number of times I have written that God had sent help and the help is my new love.

My children both were prepared by their Mother and certainly I am very sensitive to their hurts and needs. I do not mean to be coy or sly but I cannot write what has happened until I tell you some back story of God's incredible love and provision. I was blessed beyond measure by Kristy's love and far reaching insight and understanding. She was selfless. She really loved me.

KRISTY SAID IT WOULD HAPPEN SOON...

2008-12-14T07:00:00.001-05:00

So many wonderful things have been happening in my life that go back to the incredible selfless or unselfish love that Kristy had for me. I will re-post some of her writings later today or tomorrow to set the back story for what I am about to share with you.

I am writing this very late Saturday night after a very busy weekend and it is still only Saturday evening. It is good that I am not preaching Sunday as we are having our Christmas program. I feel very physically spent, but at the same time life is exhilarating.

It may seem that I am writing in circles and not making any sense at all, but Kristy told me that this would happen. She told me that God had someone for me. She told others who the person was. I don't mean to veil what is happening, but this story just needs to unfold in the right way.

You may recall that I asked you to be patient with me and now you can possibly have some understanding why. It is hard to write about another love without setting some background to make it have a little sense--especially this close to Kristy's passing. I will always love Kristy, but Kristy loved me and pushed me to move forward in life. She never waited long to do anything. She never procrastinated about anything and she certainly didn't wait to push me into God's faithful plans for my life without her.

Yes, I have another love. I finally said it, but you will have to bear with me to let me write this as best as I can. Kristy told me this would happen and she even told others who it would be. She didn't tell me who or how or when, but she told me it would happen and that it would happen soon. I would not and could not bear to hear it when she briefly talked to me about it.

You will have to wait to read more. I cannot write more tonight. This is so amazing.

MILTON, HERE FOR KRISTY

2008-12-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy;

What does Milton, here for Kristy mean?

It means I am here to write in her absence. Yesterday, I wrote about the first and deeper meaning of these words so I will not be redundant. But it also has the obvious meaning of standing in a dutiful manner and from a bearing responsibility standpoint in ones absence.

I certainly cannot write with the flair and elegance that Kristy could write. She loved to write. I love to have written--though that has now changed. Now, I love to write too.

But, I wrote to fill in during her absence. I had truly prayed, hoped, and desired that she would return to her beloved blog and fulfill the dreams of her heart, but God had another plan and purpose for her. So, I have filled in and tried to honor her wishes to tell her story.

Her story has not be competed. She is still alive in heaven, but her story here on earth from the view of her continuing to live here is completed. She finished her course here. She crossed the finish line. There is not another race here for her to run here.

So, I will continue to write in her absence. Now I will assume the role as the writer of this blog and will share from the past, new things presently in my life, and will write the broader view of this story as I see it.

Today will be the last time I will begin my writing with the salutation, "Milton, here for Kristy." I will continue the blog but it will take a new direction and an amazing love story will follow on its pages. You will wipe tears, smile, and know that there is a God who loves us and cares for us and will never fail us.

WHY WRITE: "MILTON, HERE FOR KRISTY?"

2008-12-12T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Kristy was an amazing, gifted romance writer who loved God and had great passion to tell others that His love made romantic love eternally fulfilling. She oozed romanticism and lived it out in our marriage. She made me a romantic and forever changed my life. She made me a better man and a better husband, and a better minister.

Kristy started this blog four years or so ago to promote christian romance and she told our love story in the process. When you go back and read this blog from its beginning you get a broader feel of our love and what God did in our lives.

When she came down with brain cancer, she was the strong one. Her faith, courage, and commitment to Christ still amaze me. She taught so many how to live with joy and then taught us all how to die with peace. Her blog is an amazingly powerful story of christian faith as well as christian romance.

She asked me to photo journal her story when she went into the hospital for brain surgery and initially I didn't feel I could do it. She begged me and at her insistence I wrote and photo journaled her story. This has gone on for well over a year.

When I first wrote, I began writing and gave several different salutations, but quickly it turned into beginning the blog with "Milton, here for Kristy." That salutation basically has two meanings to me.

First, it meant that I was here for her as I had been for over 36 years as her husband, best friend, partner in life and partner in life and partner in ministry. It meant that I would stand with her through the good times and the bad times. It meant that richer or poorer, in sickness and in health that I was here for her. It meant she could count on me. It meant I would cherish her, honor her, love her, hold her, stand with her, believe for her, take care of her, be faithful to her.

Milton, here for Kristy meant that come what may she could depend on me. I wouldn't leave her side. I would see to her needs. I would stand watch over her. I would love her regardless of any and all circumstances she would face.

It meant picking her up and gently placing her in a wheel chair to take her out of the bedroom that she could not move out of by herself. It meant seeing that every need of her life was met as she not longer had the strength or ability to care for herself. It meant that I would be here and walk her through the valley of the shadow of death.

Milton, here for Kristy meant that my dearest, closest, most special friend and lover would not have to wonder or worry about my love or care for her. It meant I was there in every manner of love and care she desired or needed.

Kristy had been here for me all these many years of our marriage. She had held me and stood with me. She had followed me in the hard places and believed in me regardless of my popularity or successes or failures. She walked with me when we had plenty and when we gathered coke bottles once to buy food. She never left, failed, flagged or quit. She held me. She loved me.

Kristy was here for Milton. Could I do any less?

WHY I WRITE "MILTON, HERE FOR KRISTY"

2008-12-11T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

I am going to write about the salutation, Milton, here for Kristy, that I have used when I have written on Kristy's blog. For over a year I have began my writings on this blog with Milton, here for Kristy. I want to express what this means and why I have written and what I feel God has and is doing through Kristy's blog and my being here for Kristy. I will write about this and then the blog is going to take a new direction as I share what God is doing in my life and the blessing of God that continues because of Kristy's unusual love. I promise you are going to be amazed at what I will soon write.

All of the comments on this blog have mean the world to me and my family. Your comments blessed Kristy during her long fight with brain cancer. They encourage her and blessed her and gave all of us strength. I have and still feel the continued prayers of all of you which includes thousands who have never commented.

Today I felt I should share a comment from yesterday that gives partial reason why Kristy wrote and why I continue to tell this story.

Here is the comment:

Megan said...

Milton,

Today I was searching on the Internet for "Christian love" and Kristy's blog came up. I read through it for an hour or so and became enthralled with the writing, both hers and yours.

I am at a loss of words right now. I get goosebumps because I know God led me here for a reason. I needed to see faith personified, and sure enough, it seems as Kristy was exactly that.

I feel so blessed right now to have come across this. I feel inspired and a new sense of faith is pulsating through me right now, a feeling I thought I wouldn't feel again for a long time.

I just thought you should know that even though Kristy is not here with us now, her faith, devotion, and love are still touching others.

-Megan

***

This is part of why I have written "Milton, here for Kristy." I will write more about this and then will start telling a most amazing love story. You will wipe tears and smile and know there is a God who loves and cares for us.

WHY BEGIN EACH POST WITH MILTON......

2008-12-10T07:00:00.002-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

What does it mean for me to begin this blog with "Milton, here for Kristy?" I plan on writing about that in the next posts. Kristy asked me to journal in her blog before her brain surgery and now for over a year I have written and often included pictures and videos. Our love story is an amazing one that still gives me goosebumps, but the blog will soon take a different direction as Kristy has preceded me to heaven.

I will continue this blog for some time to come, but there are some definite changes that will take place as I transition from my life with Kristy to the new life and love God has for me. This blog will turn into a book and there are surprising stories yet to be told and written.

Please pray for me and be patient with me in these next few posts and in the weeks to come. God is awesome in all the ways He works. I have learned and continue to learn that He never fails.

I encourage you today to reach out to trust Him and believe Him even in your darkest moments. Kristy did and I have and I plan on continuing trusting Him.

ONE LITTLE BOY'S PLEA

2008-12-09T07:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Nine year old Alexander stood in his school office last week listening to students and parents walk through talking about their Thanksgiving Holiday weekend. One student when asked what he had done for Thanksgiving said that he had gone to his Nana's.

Alex told this story to his mother, Julie, and said that he almost broke down and cried right there in front of everyone. He said, "I want a Nana."

Kristy was unusually close to all the grands and they miss her so very much. She would sing to them and generally made them feel like a million bucks. Why wouldn't they miss her?

It was interesting to me that Alex asked for "a" Nana. He knows Kristy isn't coming back and his little heart was crying out for someone to make him feel special. He is not as close to his other grandmother in that she doesn't speak English very well and hasn't shown the interest in him that Kristy did.

God hears little boys prayers. I am not taking applications for Nana's, but I surely want that little boys plea to be answered.

I AM NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC....

2008-12-08T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Sunday evening was our annual Christmas Dinner at the church I pastor, Southside Assembly of God here in Jacksonville. It is always such fun with music, jokes, singing, skits, fellowship, laughs, the Christmas story, and a delicious dinner.

I had already attended several Christmas activities this past week and the hurt in my heart was almost unbearable--having to go alone. Kristy always had such fun at these kinds of gatherings, and now it is just me.

It really hurt earlier in the week, but tonight it was not so painful. Friday evening and Saturday and again on Sunday, I felt comforted and felt OK. God has sent me help and I am moving through this grief process. I will always love Kristy and our memories will always be sweet. God is faithful to help us through the tough, terrible storms of life.

The program Sunday evening included a skit that I have shared in this post. I am playing a hypochondriac who is waiting in a doctors office. Watch the progression of patients and their illnesses that come into the waiting room. Note the lady at the end. I wasn't about to catch her malady. I ran...

Double click on the word share to watch it on U-tube.

BOO HOO, WE LOST...

2008-12-07T08:02:00.010-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Boo hoo, my #1 beloved Alabama Football Team lost to the Florida Gators Saturday evening for the Southeaster Conference Championship. So very, very sad.

How do they say it? Oh, I remember. Just wait 'til next year.

But let's hear it for the wonderful christian young man who quarterbacks for the Florida Gators! Great game Tim Tebow. I'm impressed. I am also thrilled that Tim Tebow is an outstanding christian and not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Tim Tebow is from Jacksonville and attends First Baptist Church here with his family when they are in town. His parents are missionaries and Tim has gone on numerous trips overseas to share God's love.

Wow, in a time when athletes are treated as stars and so many of them are such poor role models for our youth, you just have to be proud and thankful for a young man who shines the brightness of God's love and grace in such a dark and cold world.

Tim won the Heisman Trophy last football season as the best college football player in the Nation, and he was the first one to win it as a sophomore. That is quite a feat. This season he has played many if not all his games with the verse Phillippians 4:13 written under his eyes. He has gotten some criticism for that.

I salute you, Tim Tebow, and pray that God will bless your gifts and talents as you continue to use them for His glory.

Now, just wait until next year. We'll get them Gators!

CHRISTMAS MUSIC IN SAN MARCO

2008-12-06T07:00:00.004-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

I went to San Marco here in Jacksonville to hear Christmas music Friday evening. The merchants had a special Christmas in San Marco night with music, cookies and candies, and a

holiday atmosphere. Southside Assembly, the church I now pastor, is in San Marco which is located just off the south bank of the St. Johns River as it passes through downtown Jacksonville.

It wasn't much fun to go alone, I will admit, but it beat staying at home by myself. I did have a good time listening to Mike, Dana, Chad, and Chase

play and sing in one of the nice eateries in San Marco. They always do a fabulous job and lift your spirits. I wish I had taken my

camera to record some of their music. Mike is superb on they keyboard, and they sing wonderfully, and the boys do a super job too.

The Southside Baptist Handbell Choir played in front of the gazebo. Christmas bells make the music of Christmas feel warm and cozy. Southside Baptist is where Kristy's mother attended church years and years ago before making Southside Assembly her church home for almost fifty years.

The San Marco Fire Station was open and let the kiddies sit on their antique fire truck and ring the bell on its side. They all were enjoying the evening.

I can hear the music and feel the spirit now. Christmas is a blessed time--even if you are alone.

ALONE AT HOME

2008-12-05T07:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

I can't stand being alone. I never have and I never will like living by myself. It is even more difficult to bear during the Holiday Season as I gather with family, friends, church family, and minister related gatherings. Obviously Kristy went to everyone of them until last year. Now I go without anyone at my side.

Our denomination has a minister's Christmas banquet annually which we always attended. The last number of years when Kristy had a new book out she always took copies and gave them as a gift to all of the minister's wives present. She gave several hundreds copies of her stories and books away especially during the Holiday Season.

This past Monday night as I dressed to go alone to this year's banquet, I recalled loading up boxes of books at past Christmas dinners and banquets that Kristy took to give to preacher's wives. This year I just got into the car alone with tons of memories flooding my mind.

Kristy loved preacher's wives and mentored untold numbers of them. She wrote articles for minister's wives for national pubs and modeled by her life how to fulfill the call as a minister's spouse. She modeled the role of a minister's spouse and did it well.

I cannot count how many younger as well as older minister's spouses have told me that Kristy was their mentor and how much she blessed them. She took extra time and care to show love and genuine concern to them. They loved her for it.

Christmas will be different this year. Kristy is in heaven. I am here on earth....alone at home.

DESK TO DESK AND BACK TO BACK

2008-12-04T07:00:00.002-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Wednesday is a study day for me at home as I finish preparing for speaking in our Wednesday Night Prayer Service and prayerfully prepare for Sunday ministry. I sat in the office at my desk and kept feeling this presence behind me that I knew was not there. I often sat at that desk with Kristy behind me writing her stories and hearing her giggle or wipe a tear depending on where she was in writing one of her books. This Wednesday it was surreal over and over again.

I am not sure what I will do with this home as time progresses. There is comfort here and there are often deep memories that flood my mind with joy, wonder, blessing, and then sorrow and sadness too. It is bitter-sweet. Time will tell and God knows what I should do with this home. I do not plan on doing anything until well into next year if I do anything at all with it.

It was just very hard to focus on my studies this Wednesday. Eventually I had to move out of the office and go to another part of the house. Most of the time I use my Apple laptop at the kitchen table for my work, but there are some things that require me to go into our study. It seems that is where my work and her work collide.

There is a future before me. Kristy lovingly spoke of it and prepared me for it. I am headed that way, but the transition grabs me over and over again with sweet, dear, memories of love, laughter, and life. We had a wonderful partnership, Kristy and me. I miss her so deeply, so very much.

Yet, God has sent me help. I am so very grateful.

JENNIER WRITES: NEW NORMAL

2008-12-03T07:00:00.004-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Jennifer, my youngest daughter, wrote these words on her blog on Monday about our experience and loss of Kristy.

http://its-all-about-him.blogspot.com/

***

Jennifer wrote:

How long do you think it takes until something different becomes the new normal?

How long do you think it takes for the deep wound on a heart to turn into a thick red scar?

Shock.

When I wake and remember...she is gone, it seems crazy. Absolutely nuts.

She taught me about heaven and now she's experiencing it. Surreal.

I don't want this to be the new normal. I don't want the wound on my heart to heal and become thick. Toughened with time.

But time keeps passing...

We all have to go on and she keeps slipping farther into heaven.

I keep thinking, why did she have to die? What are we supposed to learn from this? Why do we learn at such a high price?

***

milton dykes said...

Jennifer, I know those feelings and it hurts to think she is going farther and farther apart from us.

Her love, her words, her sweetness, her care, her tender touch, her careful planning, her feisty ways, her gorgeous smile, her beautiful red mane, her delicious skin, her delightful ways, her ingenious creativity, her love.....oh, her amazingly sweet love. How can all that be gone?

But God has given help....

It hurts really bad.

Dad

AN EARNEST PRAYER FOR FAITHFUL FANS

2008-12-02T07:00:00.007-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Dear Lord:

Please help Cousin Beth to see the light and return to the fold as a faithful fan of Alabama lore. You know that Tony loves her and would free her from any prenuptial agreement of football commitments that would withhold true happiness.

Her comment to the last post about my frightful night of fitful sleep on a very ugly gator pillow case at my sister Tricia's house only added to my pain in my aching head. Surely the genetic roots of Alabama stock will prevail and return her to her senses.

Thank you for helping Sis. Tricia return to her senses and clarify her undying love for Bama. I know you can do the same for Cousin Beth.

Dear Lord, if you have any questions about this prayer, just ask "The Bear". He is standing right close at hand.

Amen.

***

What has this post got to do with romance? Well, true love comes in many forms and expressions. True love lets the "man" hold the remote on Fall Saturday afternoons. True love, true love.

ONE REALLY BAD THANKSGIVING MOMENT

2008-12-01T07:00:00.005-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

This will be brief.

Thanksgiving went really well until Friday night. I know that Thanksgiving is Thursday, but it was still Thanksgiving weekend.

I tip toed into the bedroom late Friday night around 11:15 PM at Tricia and Rick's, my sister and brother-in-law, after leaving Mom and Dad's house. Everyone was in bed. No one was up so quietly I entered the house locking the doors behind me.

More quietly I slipped into the bedroom where Tricia had told me earlier that I would sleep. I pulled the spread back and there it was.....ugly, ugly, ugly, and more ugly.

She had Florida Gator pillow cases for me to lay my head. Can you believe it? Ugly, ugly, ugly Florida Gator pillow cases.

Out of respect, I didn't wake anyone up, but I certainly thought about it. Somehow I made myself lay down and rested my head and slept....though not very good.

My head still hurts. Bad, Bad, Bad....

Roll Tide! Yea Alabama!

Boooooo gators.

Saturday it will be for all the marbles in the SEC Football Championship Game. Bama against the Gators. Are you ready to rumble........?

Tricia really got me. I still have a headache from those ugly pillow cases.

MOM AND DAD STILL PRAY EVERY DAY

2008-11-30T07:00:00.002-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

We sat at the end of breakfast with Mother holding the Bible reading the Scriptures for the day. Then she turned to the devotional book they are using. The Scripture reading and prayers took me back many, many years back to childhood days....

Wow! This is some picture. I took this picture without them knowing it.

It did not matter if the bus was honking its horn or not. We didn't leave the house until Scripture reading and prayers took place. It was that way every day rain or shine, cold or hot, good day or bad day.

We began every day with prayer and that made a difference in my life and the lives of my siblings. They all would say it. Prayers got us through the tough times.

Over and over prayer saw us through. I remember when I was thirteen and Dad was in the hospital and had a heart arrest for over five minutes. We weren't sure what was going to happen and what kind of quality of life he would have. Though Mom and Dad were at the hospital us kids were at home with our Granny Dykes, we still prayed and we prayed hard. God heard and Dad recovered and hasn't had that problem again. God is faithful.

Prayer blesses families. It changes lives. It makes a way in the impossible. It guides and releases grace. Prayers of Mom's and Dad's bring the prodigals home. They release blessings and deliverance from curses.

What greater gift could a parent give a child than their faithful, continuous prayers? This picture today is a classic that shows lives lived out with love and faith. Mom and Dad prayed and God was faithful to answer. They have prayed for us kids all the days of our lives. I will never forget their faithfulness to us.

Maybe someone reading this today will begin a life of committed prayer with and for their family like my Mom and Dad have done all these years. I pray so.

SOME THINGS I WILL NEVER CHANGE

2008-11-29T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

I have traveled these roads before but not alone. This week I drove down I-75 and back up I-75 and then back down I-75 and then back up I-75. I felt like a yo yo going south and north and south and north and then more north tomorrow.

Tuesday I drove down to Julie's and then Thursday over to Orlando and then back to Tampa and then up to Leesburg and then back to Tampa and Friday back up to Leesburg and tomorrow way back up to Jacksonville. Back and forth, up and down, down and up and then back up to home.

Wow, thank God the gas prices dropped down too. That is the kind of traveling I have done as we all do to get to see family. Busy people travel and I've been a busy little guy.

Now, the rode is traveled alone. The spot next to me is empty. The car is quiet. The meditations longer. The music louder. The phone beckons. Who to call to make some noise? Where do you go when you travel alone?

Kristy was a great travel partner. We kept suitcases close at hand and the train case full and ready to go. We both could be ready in moments to hit the trail. Now I pack alone. She got the clothes cleaned and all the needed travel items stocked. Now it is just me.

It is a transition time. A time of waiting, learning, watching, allowing God's help to arise. I still believe in God's faithfulness. He will perfect His plan for me. I will trust Him, and believe Him, and obey Him, and follow Him. That is what I have done all my life. I will not change now.

THANKSGIVING DINNER AT TRICIA'S HOUSE

2008-11-28T01:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Yesterday on Thanksgiving Day, Nic came up to me at Tricia's and said, "Papa, I miss Nana."

Later, Julie told me that she always sat by Kristy at Thanksgiving Dinner. This year would be and was different for her.

Julie sat next to me at the table.

On the way back home to Julie's Thursday evening, Julie asked the boys what the wanted for Christmas?

Alex said, "I want Nana. I also want my two front teeth. He had an accident at school on Monday and knocked his two top front teeth out."

I talked on the phone with Jennifer in San Juan and we both hurt over missing Kristy. She was supposed to be here today. Why isn't she here. I know the answer, but we all felt her tug, feel, presence.

All these and other moments made for a Thanksgiving like I haven't had in almost 40 years. It was Thanksgiving without Kristy.

I posted yesterday what I was thankful for today. I still feel that way and more. I choose to live with a spirit of thanksgiving year round. I am happier that way and others enjoy being around me more too.

Tricia made the most incredible Thanksgiving Dinner. She has hosted it for our family the last several years. She is so much fun and a real hoot. We laugh and laugh and have the best time. Rick, her husband, is funny too--that's an understatement.

Tricia and I went for a long horseback ride. I rode Gonzo and she rode Cocoa, her daughter Stephanie's pony. It was a beautiful day to enjoy a long ride and being with my most special, loving family.

I am so thankful for all of my dear loved ones and friends.

The picture of the motorcycle is of Tim, Janet's husband, and Julie. Can't see Julie's face though. I am on the horse next to Alex and Nic. Nic is riding Cocoa with Stephanie holding the rope. The first picture is Tricia getting the horse ready to ride. Two of my sisters, Janet pictured between Mom and Dad with Tricia sitting next to me, were there along with their spouses and children along with Mom and Dad and Julie and her boys.

It was a wonderful day.

CAN I BE THANKFUL?

2008-11-27T07:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Loss and thanksgiving aren't very easy to compute. How and for what can one be thankful? It is a tough choice and call. I know the Scripture. I can quote it. Thanksgiving makes mental and spiritual sense. It is the emotions that cloud the process. Stolen love taken before its time takes some processing.

What shall I be thankful for with Kristy gone?

1. For 37 wonderful years of love.

2. For beautiful children who are here to add joy and bless me.

3. For our lives that were committed together with purpose for God.

4. For memories and memories and memories and memories and........

5. For the amazing love Kristy gave in releasing me and pushing me to future and destiny.

6. For dreams that are yet unfolding....

7. For family and dear friends who have held my precious daughters, grands, and me up when we didn't have strength.

8. For comfort through the hope released by Holy Spirit.

9. For good music, Iphones that play it, and songs given in the night.

10. For call, purpose, future, life, love, joy, peace, and amazing grace and help that God has given.

And did I mention that my sister Tricia is cooking a great Thanksgiving feast and I'm invited and don't have to bring anything. She is gracious, loving, and just doesn't want to eat anything I've cooked. They don't have enough Pepto to cover the crowd if they ate my cooking! Ha!

SURPRISING, SUBTLE ANGER

2008-11-26T07:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Anger has many forms and expressions. It is caused by the most unusual stimuli and has amazing consequences. Not all of the consequences of anger are bad.

This will be a shock to some, but when I was a boy I got angry over a couple of matters and actually punched my fist through a couple of walls. Once I was mad at my father for cutting the grass when I should have cut it, but I had procrastinated. He had health issues and didn't need to cut the grass. I was mad because I should have gotten it cut and he shouldn't have been cutting the grass. I don't remember what was the cause of the second hole in the wall.

That is the worst sinning I ever did over anger, though I have been angry before many times. The Bible says that you can be angry--just don't sin when you are angry. We can have anger over multitude of issues that can actually move us to do right things. For example, our anger at sin and Satan's lies can cause us to pray more and be bolder in sharing God's love.

Tuesday I had surprising, subtle anger creeping up into my spirit over the girls and grandkids and their loss, our loss, of Kristy as the holidays approach. I drove from Jacksonville to Tampa on Tuesday evening to be with Julie. She is having a minor medical procedure done and needed me to be with her.

As I drove to her apartment in Tampa, I felt all kinds of emotions coming up inside me. I was mad that the girls and our family had to give Kristy up and would face Thanksgiving and Christmas without her. It hurt and it made me mad, angry, and wanting to find another wall to clobber.

Don't worry.

I learned long ago that putting your fist through a wall only makes for a repair bill and maybe a sore hand and knuckles. I also hope I am a little more mature now than I was when I was a teenager. I actually think I am more mature.

But Tuesday I was angry, and anger is OK. I will be angry, and I won't sin. I will use it for good. I will make new and wonderful memories with my girls and grands. I will remember the wonderful years, wipe some tears, and focus on my precious family that my redhead gave me. Anger will turn to higher good. All will not be lost.

God's grace will cover all our anger and filter out the hurt and pain. His love covers it all. He is sending me help. God's help will soothe the anger and let His love cover the pain.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING...

2008-11-25T07:00:00.001-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Life is busy and these next weeks will get busier for everyone. Thanksgiving is just a couple days away and then comes the rush of Christmas and all the wonderful activities that accompany the holiday season.

How will I fare through of all this rush? It will not be easy I am sure, but the wonderful memories will fill my mind as they already are. We traveled all those years to see family and loved ones and now it is just me.

Jesus and me and the amazing grace and help He is giving.

He gives the grace and courage to face the wonderful memories, dreams and goals including those yet unfulfilled, and the hurt of the huge loss.

Last week I visited the hospital to pray for a family whose loved one, husband and father, was critically ill. I thought he would recover and enjoy the Holiday Season with his family. But I told the wife that if he shouldn't recover and make it that I knew God would give her the strength and help to deal with the loss.

Today I received a call that Bubba Dykes passed in the night. He has lived here in Jacksonville for many, many years. To our knowledge we are not related, though I wouldn't be surprised to find we connect in a past family tree.

I do know they are hurting and I know God will give them grace and strength. God is faithful to all of us. One day all of the separations will end and we will be reunited. Death has been conquered. The sting has been taken away. Jesus is the Resurrection, The Way, The Truth, The Life.

I AM DOING BETTER....

2008-11-24T07:00:00.002-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

Sunday the Lord helped me preach His Word. That is my calling and my passion. I am not Billy Graham, but I know what God has called me to do and that is preach.

At lunch after the morning service with a couple from our church, I enjoyed talking with them about church life, their lives, and what God is doing in our fellowship. They have gone through a personal trial the last 18 months or so when he was hit by a driver who ran a red light and ran into his car. The crash did major damage to his ankles and knees and he has suffered untold pain and problem.

He said that he had learned a lot about patience these last months. I visited him many times when he was in the hospital and saw the tough process he has and is going through to recover. It hasn't been easy. Life isn't easy when we are thrown a curve ball.

They said that I seemed to be doing better, and I told them that I was. It hasn't been easy, but I was grateful that after just hearing me preach and spending a few months with them that they felt I was doing better. They could tell I was better in my voice, preaching, and general manner. I am grateful that the healing and grieving process is occurring and that I am going through it to what God has for me.

God is helping me and your prayers have meant so much. Sunday night I worked at writing and then relaxing watching my Jaguars go down the tube again. It hurts to watch the Jags lose and it hurts to walk through this house with it so quiet and lonely, but God is with me. I am going to make it.

They said that they felt I was doing better, and I am doing better. God is helping me.

DON'T WAIT...YOU MIGHT MISS THE CHANCE

2008-11-23T07:00:00.003-05:00

Milton, here for Kristy:

My thoughts are still reflecting on yesterdays post about the unexpected death of Lavada Haupt. Her passing took place so quickly. The tumor as I have heard it wasn't discovered just this past October only a few weeks back. She was at Kristy's funeral and to my knowledge had no idea of having such a severe problem.

Does that say anything to you? Does it make you think about the value of living today? Does it make you think of eternal purpose? I learned in a way I couldn't conceive in Kristy's passing that life is most precious and to be treasured far more than the majority realize.

***

I received this note in the mail on Saturday which simply reads:

Hope you are

writing while the

words are strong

within you.

Don't wait!

Jimmie

***

Wow, those are good words and fit with what I just shared concerning the uncertainly of life. I am writing and will heed even more the good word of the Spirit from a thoughtful friend.

Earlier in the day I had commented on the necessity of telling our story and writing it now. It is a sweet, powerful, and amazing story. You will be very surprised at how it ends.

What are you waiting to do that you know you must do?

Do it now. There may not be a tomorrow or a more convenient time.

Make amends now.

Reach out now.

Give now.

Go now.

Love now.

Write now.

Complete now.

Don't wait.