KNIGHT IN SLIGHTLY DENTED ARMOR...STAYING MARRIED WHEN HE'S NOT THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS, PART 2

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KNIGHT IN SLIGHTLY DENTED ARMOR...

STAYING MARRIED WHEN HE'S NOT THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS, PART 2

What do you do when your spouse disappoints you, or you can't get along? Disclaimer: we're not talking about if s/he beats you, is abusive to you, or is promiscuous with many sexual partners; in those cases, run! You have justifiable and biblical reasons. (Just my opinion.)

But what if the person you married isn't who you thought s/he was? Or, you find out you are complete opposites? I don't mean to sound lord-it-over-you, but duh, most of us are complete opposites. That's probably what attracted us in the first place. I know a young couple, and she's the life of the party, and he's the shy sort who doesn't say a lot. Like magnet to metal, they were drawn together and fell deeply in love. She adored every sinew of his soul, and he felt the same way about her. Then came wedding bells. Then they went house hunting. They found the perfect house. The negotiations weren't going well. They lost the house. Once they got alone, she berated him, railing, "Why didn't you speak up?" and "You should've said something," yada, yada, yada. It became a huge rift between them. But why should he speak up? He's the quiet sort, remember?

So, in marriage, disappointment (or anger or disagreeableness or whatever) can creep in, and the Bible says the little foxes spoil the vine. Notice it doesn't say the big foxes.

And then there are other scenarios in marriage where you see dents in your knight's armor. So, what do you do?

You work it out.

And you stay together.

My mother always said, "I made a vow before God and man, and I'm going to keep it." She and my father were married 67 years, and oh, the majority of those years were hard for her due to some special problems he had, but with God's help, she made it. And I'm so glad she did. She kept our family together, and I'll be forever grateful to her. I adored my daddy, and it's because of her because if she'd bailed out (and she had justifiable reasons due to extenuating circumstances), I wouldn't have known him like I did. She was a woman of steel, you know, one of those steel magnolias, since we're Southerners. One of her favorite verses was, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." She quoted it often, and she had her children quote it. That's how I got through life, quoting it and relying on the Lord to see me through.

Sometimes in marriage, we tend to look at other spouses and think, He treats her like a queen; I wish my husband would do that to me. DON'T GO THERE! I capitalized that because of its importance. DO NOT GO THERE. Well, you can go there if those people treat their spouses WORSE than yours treats you.

What do I mean?

Read this little illustration and you'll get my drift.

The Cross

A young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. "Lord, I can't go on. I have too heavy a cross to bear."

"My son," the Lord replied as He opened a door, "if you can't bear its weight, put it down in this room and pick out another one."

The young man was filled with relief. "Thank You, Lord." He entered the room and placed his cross in it. Then he walked around and around and saw many crosses of varying heights. Some were so tall, the tops weren't visible. He was thankful when he finally spotted a tiny cross. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.

"My son, that is the cross you just brought in."

Fall to your knees and thank the Lord for your mate. And ask God to help you in your marriage.

He will.