DAD SAID TO JUST LOVE HER, PART 2 BY MILTON DYKES

God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Man needs God’s gift of completion that a loving wife fulfills. His hopes, dreams, and desires are shared by God’s gift of “wife”. No job, amount of money, fame, popularity, power, or prestige can ever complete and fulfill a man like the gift of “wife.”

The secret for men to have a blessed marriage and happy home rests on this issue of how to love your wife. Sounds simple, and basically it is simple. Men must look beyond themselves and what gratifies them, and see the special unique traits of their spouse. It has been said, “Happy wife, happy life.” As John the Revelator wrote, “These words are true and faithful” (Revelation 21:5, NKJV)! :)

Kristy loves sweet words, tender touches, and uninterrupted quality time. She is not demanding and has never been overbearing, but these are important and satisfy the deep longings of her heart. Now that doesn’t sound too hard, does it? I promise you, my effectiveness in fulfilling these wishes brings great rewards!

So what’s the problem?

The problem is that men get tunnel vision and think and act from their perspective. Men are turned on by sight, and women are turned on by kind acts, sweet nothings, and tender touches. We are different. Men tend to be wanderers, and women tend to be nurturers. Men tend to forget little things, and women tend to remember little things. Love, for women, often centers around “little things.” Men want to climb the highest mountain, and women just want the garbage taken out. Men want to be rewarded for bringing home the bacon (or their part of it), and women want a little help cleaning up after the bacon is cooked.

Let me illustrate.

Our honeymoon set the pace for a marital learning curve that yet continues. My dream of marriage and enjoying the marriage bed before the Lord came back had been fulfilled. We had married that summer and were honeymooning in the Great Smokey Mountains and Atlanta, Georgia, to enjoy the historic South and take in a Braves baseball game. I didn’t want to watch the Braves play, but Kristy made me go!

Not! She dutifully went with me, not caring much about the game. But she loved me. I can still hear the crack of the bats and the roar of the crowd as my bride sat beside me in the stands.

"Peanuts, popcorn, ice cold beer,” the vendors yelled. “Don’t be afraid, don’t be ashamed, just one beer, and you’ll never be the same.” Well, I didn’t drink the beer, but I loved watching Hammerin’ Hank Aaron hit a homerun.

That week, I failed the first lesson of love.

We were zipping along the Interstate when Kristy saw a sign advertising a donut shop. “I want a donut,” she said. “There’s a shop at the next exit. Let’s stop.”

Zoom. We speeded on. We’ll get one later, I thought, but made no expression of my desire or intention.

To Kristy, it was a setback. Why wouldn’t her new husband grant such a small request on her honeymoon? Especially when she’d gone to a ballgame she cared nothing about? I failed to communicate my intent and failed even more in granting a small wish. Yes, I could climb the highest mountain, but I couldn’t exit the Interstate. It was such a little thing, but the little things loom large in the heart of a woman. I had much to learn about how to love my wife.

There are scriptural principles men should follow to love--and live with--their spouses. God’s Word speaks clearly, concisely, and conclusively on how to love your wife. There are specific directives men need to learn and relearn.

As I said earlier, God saw Adam and said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Men need companionship and completion that come from a marriage blessed, anointed, and rewarded by God. Men can face all manner of trial and test, but when there is no rest at home, every trial and test looms larger than life.

As the old saying goes, “When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Real joy and rest come from homes where both spouses’ needs are being met. Men have a need for companionship and respect, and women have a need for love. Simply put, when women experience love, they more readily and effectively fulfill the needs of their husbands. The point is clear. Happy wife, happy life.

Are there any perfect marriages?, you might ask. Are there any happy marriages? Will I ever learn to please my wife? Is there any hope for me? I have failed so miserably, you might say. Our marriage is boring, and our life together is hopeless.

I have heard these questions and statements over and over through the years. Yes, there is hope. Yes, you can have a wonderful marriage. Are there any perfect marriages? No, at least not in the true sense of the word. But bad marriages can become good marriages, and average marriages can become great marriages…

Stay tuned for Part 3!