A LOVE TO BE HONORED

A NOTE FROM MILTON:

For two years I have looked to God for the soothing of a broken heart, and moment by moment healing has come. It has not been easy.

Kristy is whole and well in heaven, but those left behind have felt the pain of the loss of one so very precious and dear. We have struggled to find comfort. My girls and grands and family and friends and those unknown have waited for healing mist.

God is faithful.

***

Kristy, you knew God's plan for me and with heavenly love released me and pushed me and blessed me to walk and live again.

I could not understand your passing, God's plan, or pain beyond expression. My body, my mind, my spirit was broken and could not grasp why.

Yet, in God's mercy and in His timing, Wanda came softly and sweetly to complete my journey. Only heaven's vision could see and understand. It is a love from above.

Soon, we will complete life's mission. We will join around the throne to give glory.

I honor you and thank you. You made me a better man and blessed me. I will see you in heaven. It will be sweet.

CONNECT TO MY NEW BLOG

This blog is the story of Kristy Dykes and her writings. 

On July 21, 2008, Kristy walked through the gates of heaven onto streets of gold. Kristy's  blog will always be a reminder of the joy and blessing of serving God and the love God adds to marriage. 

Please click on the address below to go to my new blog. 

See you there.

Milton Dykes

http://mdykes.blogspot.com/

Kristy Roberts Dykes

August 2, 1951--July 21, 2008

"Pizzazz, Enthusiasm, High Energy"

THIS LADY HAD FAITH

Today is the last post I will enter until Monday, January 26 when I will begin my new blog. I will enter a link on this blog address on Monday to connect you to the new site.

I look forward to your visiting the new site on Monday. Remember, check this site for the link to the new blog.

This post is the video of Kristy's final time to attend church when she shared her last words to our church we pastor and where she also grew up. She was so sick that morning before church that she couldn't remember how to put her makeup on or how to put on her jewelry. It was miraculous that she was able to attend church and even more amazing that she spoke.

Her words to the church will never be forgotten by those present. They were challenging, inspiring, and encouraging. I don't believe I have ever witnessed faith in anyone more than what I saw and heard that morning as Kristy spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT-QJr-BK-A

Double click above to watch video.

MY LETTER TO KRISTY

Dear Kristy:

Before you had brain surgery, you asked me to journal entries on this blog to tell your story and our story. At first I couldn't see how I could write with all you were facing and I told you that I couldn't. But, at your insistence, I began to photo journal your story and have for almost fourteen months. I have attempted to tell your story to the best of my ability. 

Your faith and determination to honor God has blessed untold numbers of people and lives as a legacy through your family and those you have touched. 

I remember when you started this blog almost five years ago the enthusiasm and energy you had in developing it. Week after week and then month after month and now year after year you wrote, and now I have written daily for you for some fourteen months. This has been one amazing, incredible journey that one day our kids and grandkids will read, view, and watch with appreciation for your faithful and committed life and service to them and to the Lord.

Thirty-seven years is not long enough to be married when you share the sweet love that we enjoyed. We did so much and walked together with an honest and pure love. I still wipe tears over our blessed and wonderful years we lived as husband and wife. 

You gave me the most beautiful daughters and stood faithfully at my side to help me serve as a pastor and church leader. Wow, did we ever live and have fun!

I have written daily about you and all you have meant to me. I could add more, but you know the christian romance we shared. We had fireworks, sparks, sweetness, and joy mixed and intertwined with eternal purpose. You made this Alabama boy a better man and a true romantic. 

Your articles, books, and this blog have touched millions and heaven will record the full magnitude and impact of your romantic, sweet pen. I tried every way that I could to support and encourage your efforts and vision to write. Many years ago the Lord told us that we would write together and bless many people. You kept faithful to your calling to the very end and God truly blessed your hard work, and together we wrote and shared to encourage others. 

Sweetheart, I love you dearly and thank you for all you did to bless me, our daughters and grands, our family, the churches we served, and many others we do not know. You did good and made life better for all of us. 

We all miss you terribly. The girls and the grands hurt and hurt real bad, but we are going to make it. You showed us how to live with joy and die with dignity and peace. That cloud of peace and chair of strength are still with us. God is so good. He will not fail.

You told Julie and Norma the plans God had for me with Wanda before you passed. I am awed at your insight, love, and kindness to bless me and push me to move forward with my life. How did you know that Wanda was the one God had for me? You are one classy, spiritual lady. You knew my needs and loved me more than one could ever imagine as you released me to God's full plan for my life. I am grateful. Just moments before you went to heaven when I asked you to tell Jesus to send me help, I didn't know that you already knew who the help would be. You are amazing! 

It won't be long and all of us will join you. Life here is brief, but eternity is forever. I will live for the day that we all see each other again in heaven. With God's help, I will be faithful and finish my life with commitment and determination to honor God and give Him glory just as you did.

Kristy, thank you for loving me and walking with me and blessing me. 

Milton

***

Tomorrow will be the last post entry on this blog for some time to come. This blog will always be here for you to read, and on rare occasions in the future there will be updates. 

Thank you for all your prayers and kindness to Kristy, me, my daughters, and our family. 

May God bless you.

KRISTY'S LAST POST

These are the last words Kristy wrote on Thursday April 24, 2008,  just one week before she entered hospice and walked deep into the valley of the shadow of death . I wanted to share her last written words to you on these final days of entry on this blog. These words express so much of her heart.

***

Kristy, here:

Thanks, all, for your GLORIOUS comments. Appreciate you all. Just came in from a midweek prayer service. Lots of strength when you're surrounded by believers. Thanks, all, for your prayers. God is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooooooood to me! Even with brain cancer, I can say that. He's a good God.

GO BACK AND READ

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

In three days I will enter the last post on this blog for some time to come. I will probably enter a new post or one of my daughters for unusually important milestone or occasions in the future. I will start a new blog that will be linked you from this blog to the new one. The new blog will start on Thursday, January 22.

There is so much I could write but today this post will be brief. Why not take the time to go back and read a few past posts. I have. They go back almost five years. You will read the heart of a passionate woman named Kristy who loved God, her husband and daughters, family and people in general, and you will read a christian love story that will change your life.

JULIE'S THOUGHTS ABOUT HER MOM

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I have asked Julie to write her thoughts about her Mom as I finalize the last posts on this blog. I am so very proud and thankful for Julie and Jennifer. They make their Dad proud.

***

My dad asked me the first of the week to write something about my mom. Well, I have had a very busy week. Report cards were due (I’m a teacher.) My boys had a lot of homework. It was difficult to find the time to sit down and gather my thoughts. I was finally able to sit down late last night after a long day of work, after I put the boys to bed, and I began to try to write something.


I thought and I thought, and my heart was so heavy. I went back and read old posts, wanting the Lord to impress something on my heart to write. And all I felt was heaviness. Dad finally called me again about 12:30, and was worried about me being up so late. He told me to go on to bed. I had to get up in about five hours.

When my family writes, they always write something so uplifting. Something that is inspiring. When I spoke at my mother’s funeral, God gave me those words. They came flowing from my heart. Right now, I want to write something inspiring. I mean, my mother was amazing. How hard this could be, you may wonder. When I go back and read all of the posts and look at all of the pictures, my mother was vibrant and faithful and full of joy every single day until the very end. How amazing is that? I wonder what it must have felt like to have been told, “You are going to die. And it will be painful at the end. You only have a few months left.” I can’t imagine what that REALLY, TRULY must have felt like.

I’m sitting here at my computer, and I know I have things I would like to share with you all. Things about my mother and my father. But right now, the ideas won’t come together. My heart is heavy and my eyes are filled with tears. So… I’ve decided to just be honest. To tell it like it really is. It hurts. It hurts to lose your mother. She was 56. In the prime of her life. I would like you all to please continue praying for me and for my family. I will make it. I’m built from stern stuff as my mother would say. But life has changed for me. It just doesn’t seem as bright as it used to be.

I remember the night I found out my mom had a brain tumor... She and Dad told me the day before that they had found out she had lost 25% of her peripheral vision. I knew that something had caused that, but never in a million years did I think she really would have a brain tumor. I remember the seriousness in my father's voice as I listened to him over the phone that Wednesday night. Our life was forever changed.

I remember the day of my mother's surgery. Our family and close friends all waited in the waiting room together. Janet, Dad's sister led us in the song, "How Great Is Our God, Sing with Me How Great Is Our God. How Great Is Our God. He's The Name Above All Names. Worthy to Be Praised. How Great is Our God!" I remember when the doctor came to talk to my dad, my sister and me. He told us they would let us know in a day or two if it was cancerous. I know he really knew then, but he wouldn't tell us anything. I remember telling him, as we walked in to see her, "She's a really special lady."

I remember a couple of days later when the doctor came in the hospital room to tell us her diagnosis. My dad, sister, I, and some of our family members were in the room with her. No one had really looked up much online about brain cancer. And I hadn't done much research, but I did read a little. I remember the moment the words "Glioblastoma Multiforme Stage 4" came out of his mouth. Everyone else in the room had to wait for him to explain what that meant, but as soon as he said those words I knew they were a death sentence. I had read that someone who has that only lives 6-9 months. Immediately tears began to stream down my face. I had to get out of that room. I quickly ran out to the waiting room bawling. I had to pull myself together before I could go back in there. But mom, she barely blinked an eye when they told her. Wow.

I remember going to Cheesecake Factory with her and my sister one day for lunch. I sat there in that restaurant, and I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, “My mother has a brain tumor! It won’t be long and she won’t be here to be able to have lunch here again with me!” It was the weirdest feeling sitting there with all of those people going on about their daily lives, and my mom was sitting there and she looked as normal as could be, but she was dying.

I remember visiting my mother throughout her illness. She was always giving to us, even though she was sick. She truly had a servant’s heart. On one of my visits from Tampa I had had a busy week so I brought my laundry with me when I came to Jacksonville. We had a busy day, going to the cancer center and then I think we went out to eat. When we got home we decided to take a nap which is something she never, ever did before she got sick. I told her I would do my laundry when I woke up and told her to please just leave it that I would take care of it. Well, as we lay on her bed, she insisted on scratching my back. (Our family likes to scratch backs and give each other massages.) Here she was the one who was sick, and she wouldn’t let me do anything for her, she still wanted to take care of and look out for me. Later when I woke up, I went into the laundry room to do my laundry and found she had already done it! She was dying of brain cancer and was still taking care of herself and looking out for and helping her family as well. I just couldn’t believe she had washed and folded my laundry. I did not want to put her out. She was so sweet….

Well, as I gathered my clothes off of the dryer, I realized… She had forgotten to wash them!! She was at the stage where she was getting a little confused and mixed up with some things. I discovered she had thrown my dirty clothes straight into the dryer without ever washing them and then folded my still dirty clothes! I never told her, but Dad and I sure did get a good laugh out of that one!

I know this post is a little different from the normal posts on this blog. But I just felt like being real today. I miss my mother so much. God has placed some things on my heart that I do want to share. I’ll have to ask Dad when he would like me to do this. I have thoughts swirling around in my mind. Thoughts on my mother’s faithfulness, and on the depth of her love for us ( I mean, what kind of love is that, how sweet, how deep, how real, and how selfless- that she told me she knew who would be good for my father. I’ll have to share that story with you all soon. It happened when we were getting ready to go to lunch one day, as we were putting our makeup on in her bathroom. She told me about Wanda with a sparkle in her eye! That came from her, and from God- that was the farthest thing on our minds! None of us ever thought anything like that about Dad after she would be gone. We wanted her here. We wanted her to get healed.)

I also want to write about her amazing sense of peace and of her deep joy that she had through the great times and that she exuded all the way through death’s valley.

And finally, I want to write about my dad and about Wanda. Both of them have experienced heartache- that comes with life…. But this is truly the most beautiful, special, sweet- oh so sweet christian love story that has ever been. CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES… my mother couldn’t have chosen a more fitting title for her blog.

That is what I think EVERY SINGLE time I open her blog and read her words… CHRISTIAN LOVE STORIES.

WANDA'S TRIBUTE TO KRISTY

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

I asked Wanda if she would like to write her thoughts as I finish these last few days of entres on this blog. Wanda has so graciously written a tribute to Kristy. This is amazingly incredible.

***

It is with honor that I write a tribute to Kristy.    

I first met Kristy when Jim and I started attending Bartow First Assembly  in 1980.  It seemed like from the very beginning Kristy and I connected and became good friends.  Our children where the same ages, Kristy and I were the same age, we had been married the same about of time and just had a lot of things in common .  

I believe, because we were their first converts in the church in Bartow and her love for people, she had a great burden to help disciple and mentor me as she knew I was going to need guidance and direction in my new walk with the Lord.   With her kind, gentle spirit that is what she did.

My family enjoyed many times of fellowship with Kristy, Milton and the girls, going to different homes, to McDonalds and Burger King almost every Sunday night after church.  We had only been in the church for about six months and Kristy and Milton wanted to go on a trip to the mountains with the youth but could not take Julie and Jennifer.  Having no parents here to help them out, Jim and I offered to keep the girls for the week.    Kristy entrusted me with the girls even though we had only known each other for a few months.  Through this, we became family to each other.   When they returned from the trip, her gift of appreciation to me was a devotional book by CorrieTen Boom.  Again, there was her gentle, kind, spirit mentoring and helping me to grow in the Lord.

Kristy and I remained friends during their eight years as Pastor in Bartow.  She encouraged me to become involved in the church by teaching and being a leader in the ladies ministries .  She was my teacher, as I taught others.  

As church secretary she treated me very well always making sure I had what I needed to get the job done.  As of today, I have a plant in my back yard that she sent to me on Secretary’s Day to show her and Milton’s appreciation to me.  She was always thinking of others.

After they left Bartow we continued to stay in touch, seeing them at District Councils and other events.  Every time she spoke in the area I always made it a point to try to attend.  After she began writing, she always sent to me autographed copies of her books, which I still have and cherish.

Little did I know that years later, when she knew that the Lord was calling her home, that she would feel that I was the one that the Lord would call to be the help that Milton had asked for the night that she went to be with Jesus.  I know that the Lord is the one that has put Milton and me together, but I do feel that because of the way Kristy mentored me, she helped prepare me for what the Lord now has for me.   

She left a great legacy of love.

A WORN TRAVEL TRAIN CASE

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Traveling light is the best way to go. Heavy luggage and too much stuff slows everyone. Kristy knew how to travel and she also lived in a clutter free manner that made efficiency and excellence easier to achieve. I am more of the pack rat but I have learned from her that to keep something beyond its time of usage didn't help present life. Too much stuff is hard to handle and deal with.

Kristy told me to make changes in my house that would allow for new to come alive. She didn't want things to be stuck in time and not have use or value for today. She didn't want her house decor to cover my future and restrict new life from budding. So Norma and Ron have been helping with changes here in my home that Kristy wanted to take place and that I now realize are important too. 

As they gathered items that needed to be packed, saved, or stored for my kids and then other items that needed to be given away, nostalgia filled this house and my heart. 

I noticed her travel train case that we had made hundreds and hundreds of trips over the years. For almost twelve years we spoke in one to three different church across Florida, the South, the Caribbean, our Nation, and other parts of the world. Trip after trip we packed and unpacked. She kept that travel case ready to go at a moments notice. We both knew how to get things ready in a hurry and when we returned home we both knew how to unpacked quickly.

I have reflected about some of those trips and packing and unpacking over and over again. I can remember only a couple of times or so that we left something at home that we needed on the trip and only a time or so that we felled to get it all back home.

Once I forgot to take a belt that I needed and maybe we left something somewhere that I have forgotten, but pretty much that was it. We just knew how to get going and get back and do it quickly, efficiently, and in the manner to have just what we needed for the events we would participate on each trip.

That took planning and diligence over and over and over and we partnered to make it happen. We traveled and spoke at conferences, seminars, revivals, men and ladies events, and attended all kinds of seminars that we weren't the speakers and learned and gleaned to sharpen our ministry work saws to best help others.

Norma took a couple of items out of that train case that the girls might desire to have, but then she and Ron put it with items to go to bless others. That is what Kristy would want done. She wouldn't keep anything just to keep it. She kept life clutter free. To her, that was the most efficient way to live.

That is how Kristy lived--efficient, effective, with excellence.

That travel train case was worn from use and now it was time to pass it on for others to use. That is what Kristy would want too.

TENDER TEARS OF CHANGE

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

Working through transition is hard, but I promise you that after 37 years with Kristy that she never beat around the bush or waited on anything. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go! That was Kristy all the way. She would not stand for me to be lagging or overly pining away or wilting in life. I know grief is a process that is healed over time by God's grace and I am gradually moving forward in that process.

The day after Kristy's funeral I gave jewelry and clothing of Kristy's to daughters and family members. Changes have been made periodically and gradually all those these last weeks and months.

But change  is hard and I have cried tears and then more tears as necessary transition is taking place. 

Today I went to pick out a marker for her grave. As mentioned in an earlier post, my daughters and I chose to put on her marker "Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High Energy! 

Those words described Kristy very clearly. I had called the marker company and found that the type of marker for the area Kristy is buried allows only four words on the marker. As I talked on the phone I counted the words on my fingers. Yes, there were exactly four words that we had chosen for Kristy. Amazing! What if they allowed on three words? Or, what if we had chosen ten words? Well, all things work together for good....

Norma has been helping work through some changes here in my house while they are here and Ron is preaching for me. They were present Sunday when Wanda greeted my church and Ron spoke and helped make the introduction easier for Wanda and me. 

These changes slowly and smoothly but yet with some hurt have been taking place. It is the right time and is happening in the right way. 

I was excited to have Wanda in church on Sunday. She was calm, collected, cool, and cute! It was good to have her with me and it was the first time for us to be in my church together. My congregation could not have been kinder or more gracious. That is just their manner. They are great!

But it was different to have Wanda there and not Kristy. It felt different. It looked different. It was different. That is the obvious. 

But that is OK. I know Kristy and I know that she was pleased. She probably wondered why it had taken so long and why everyone took so long to know what she had know first of all as God had shown her God's plan for us to be together. I am blessed and so grateful for God's goodness and faithfulness to me. God know what I need and is here to meet my needs now.

I wept more tears today when I arrived home with the changes. The changes are right. They are good and they are at the right time. But the changes of pictures and some changes of certain decor in the house speak of the obvious again. Kristy is gone. That still hurts.

But the hurt is being comforted and the future is before me and that is what Kristy wanted for me. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go!

This blog is in the process of changing and winding down with a new blog being developed. My daughters and writing some final thought for this blog as Jennifer as already posted her thoughts. I will be sharing final thoughts on this blog over the weekend. 

Change is happening. There are tears and there is hurt and there is expectation of new joy and new things and new plans and new dreams and Kristy would want that sooner rather than later.

That was Kristy's way. It is right way for me right now.

JENNIFER: UNIQUE PATHS

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

Jennifer, my youngest daughter, is sharing on today's blog thoughts about her mother and this blog. Jennifer is a great writer and has a marvelous style of writing. I love to read her thoughts.

***

Unique Paths

My dad has asked me to write something for the closing of mom’s blog. I’m not sure my heart is up to the task but I promised I would… please bare with me as my heart is heavy and my eyes brimming with tears. I might jump around but I’ll try my best to make sense.

The last time I visited my mom, before she got really sick and entered hospice, we had an amazing last time together. We went to lunch at Cheesecake Factory and ate dessert together, we had coffee at Starbucks, we went to church for last time together.

Oh the sweet memories… Mom, You where such a good mother…

The most memorable moment was the last time we sat at her kitchen table together. It was late at night, the kids were asleep and it was just us talking about life. She was giving me advice and telling me not to settle in life but to know God had much in store for me and to reach higher.

Oh the memories around that table… Mom, You took such good care of us, you fed our bodies and our souls as well…

At the end of the conversation she said she had a word from the Lord for me. We left the cozy kitchen table for her always well supplied office so I could write down what she had to say. She couldn‘t write anymore. My mom, the woman with unending energy and talent, was now the author who couldn’t write…it was too much of a struggle for her. So I pulled a freshly sharpened pencil from the coffee can turned into a homemade pencil holder one of us had made for her as a kid.

Oh the memories of sweet childhood… Mom, I’ll never forget how you were always home, pouring your heart and soul into your family.

It was late at night and we were both tired (even with terminal brain cancer, the woman was still amazing! ) but we both wanted to get this message written down. Here is what she said to me that late night.

“God has a walk for you. Don’t be surprised but walk as I have in trust. My walk is requiring trust and your walk will too. Don’t be afraid. God has His plan. The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord. Just as He has had me walk this unique path, a unique path will befall you. Just keep living for the Lord and He will reveal it. Trust is the important word in unique paths and as we trust He will work out Romans 8:28”

Oh the memories of her alive talking… Mom, I’ll never forget that even though you were the one dying, you wanted us to be ok!

By now most who are reading know my mom’s unique path led her into the waiting arms of Jesus. She won! She won on July 21^st when she left this world and entered heaven.

But what of us? What of us, those she left behind? I’m still discovering what unique paths God has for me. So far there have been lots of twists and turns that I didn’t expect but her words from that night ring in my ears. Trust. I will trust as I follow Him on whatever unique path he has in store. I will remember back to the truths my mom helped put in my heart. I will pull from the strength her wonderful example gives.

Mom, I will never forget you. Part of you is inside of me. All you taught me, all you wanted me to be is inside…thank you mom… I will carry you in my heart forever.

 

THOUGHTS AND MORE THOUGHTS

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

***

I am winding down my thoughts to be posted on this blog. It is a great blog started by a great, classy lady. Stroll back through Kristy's past writings and you will read a love story that will continue forever. 

Kristy oozed romance and she made me a romantic. I assure you that Wanda is and will be a recipient of love cultivated in me that will  show and share romantic expressions in both word and deed.

I will write more. Wanda and I have agreed that I will write more but it obviously will have a new and different view. 

Today as I talked with me sister Norma she offered a book title that I may well use as I write the love stories of my heart. I will tell you the suggested title at a later time. This will be a connecting story linking the past love with the new love. I believe it will make a great book. Hopefully one day you will see it in print.

New love, after sharing love as Kristy and I did , takes some adjustment and time and the ability to let the new cultivate and grow. I am so very thankful that God brought Wanda into my life now rather than a year or two from now. Every person who loses a spouse deals with it in different ways, but for me it would have been unbearable to face without the love and comfort that Wanda has been able to share. She has been kind, gracious, and amazingly secure through all this process. 

Today Wanda went to church with me where I pastor for the first time. My parents were there along with sis Norma and Ron, her husband. I briefly introduced her to the church and she greeted the people with grace, humility, dignity, and class. Her sweetness and love reached out to people who still hurt over Kristy's passing. Wanda told the church that she loved Kristy and understood their hurts. She said that she loved Kristy too. She said that Kristy was her mentor and they were friends. Wanda made an amazing speech that really touched my heart and I believe touched all who were present.

The new blog is coming, but for the next couple of days or so my girls and I will write reflective conclusions for this part of this blog's life.

I hope that many of you will post your thoughts in the comments section about Kristy and her impact on your life. It would bless my girls and me if you did. I will include some of the comments in the main body of a future post. Thank you for your love and prayers for my family and me. I am grateful.

This christian love story will continue and will always be here on this blog. It will be a testimony to Kristy's heart and love.