I'M IN LIKE (AS OPPOSED TO LOVE?) PART 4

I've been blogging about sticking with your mate through the thick and thin of marriage, such as when s/he's hurt you or disappointed you, or when you have disagreements (for some couples, that's often). During times like these, you sometimes feel like you don't love your mate. But remember what I said in Part 3 of this post? "Love is a choice not a feeling." I heard a woman say to her husband, "I don't like you, but I love you." She was saying, "I don't like your ways right now, but I choose to love you anyway."

But I need to add in a disclaimer…

If you're in your second or third marriage, or whatever, please apply what I'm saying to your present circumstances. Put the past behind you, and move forward. Make this marriage the best it can be.

***

Dr. Richard Dobbins, a Christian psychologist, said, "It's not the circumstances in life that make or break you, but how you choose to handle them."

When I heard Dr. Dobbins say this a long time ago at a marriage conference, I had that saying printed and matted attractively, and I've displayed it in our home ever since. I can see it from where I'm sitting right now at my computer. It's on a bookcase sitting on a gold tripod.

It's become my philosophy for life, because it applies to all relationships, not just marriage.

Think about it.

"It's not the circumstances in life that make or break you, but how you choose to handle them."

It's all in how we deal with what life throws us. When Milton and I teach Joy in Marriage seminars, we do a segment on "The Rules of a Good Marital Fight."

"Fight," you say?

Yes, even in good marriages, couples have disagreements.

Dr. James Dobson says this.

And did you read the recent interview of Billy Graham? I think we saw it in USA Today, or somewhere. The reporter asked Dr. Graham about his marriage with Ruth. Dr. Graham, the great, revered, wonderful man of God, said with a twinkle in his eye (okay, I'm a writer; I'm envisioning this), "We are happily incompatible."

"We are happily incompatible?"

I love that!

That a great, revered, wonderful man of God can say, "Yes, we have disagreements. Yes, we don't see eye to eye. Yes, we're opposite in many ways. BUT WE ARE HAPPY! (In email language, those caps mean I'm shouting!)

And you know what?

The Grahams are choosing to be happy.

Because it is a choice.

Milton and I choose to be happy too.

Often.