DAD SAID TO JUST LOVE HER, PART 3 BY MILTON DYKES

Great marriage skills can be learned, and men can grow spiritually and scripturally into all that God intends. What does it take?

It takes a heart like Christ.

It takes a willing heart that breaks issues of pride and stubbornness.

It takes vision that looks deep into the needs of your spouse and determines to faithfully fulfill those needs.

Great marriages are the effort of work, grace, understanding, caring initiative, and lots of forgiveness.

There are a lot of men who have done a super job of catching a wife, but the field of men who do a great job of keeping their wives really narrows. The list of men whose wives really feel loved narrows even more. The tragedy of this is two-fold. First, the fact is, there are many wives who feel unloved. Second is the tragedy of men whose lives are not fully blessed because their spouses’ needs are not met. Unfulfilled wives cannot effectively fulfill the needs of their husbands, so the cycle of unfulfillment continues.

Coach McCartney of Promise Keepers once said, “You can tell how a husband treats his wife by looking into her eyes when she looks at her spouse.” He said his goal is to keep the glimmer in the eyes of his wife.

If a wife has lost the glimmer in her eyes when she looks at her husband, it is most often the result of a wife whose spouse does not make her feel cherished and special.

Harsh words, dictatorial ways, thoughtless gestures, stinginess, forgotten birthdays and anniversaries, unappreciated homemaking, cruel teasing, lack of care and assistance with children and household chores, and unreasonable amounts of time spent on sports and personal hobbies by husbands all make for wives who have lost the glimmer in their eyes. Not one of these issues requires a man to climb Mount Everest, but it does require a heart of love that gives like Christ.

The good news is that bad habits by bad husbands can be changed, and poor habits by poor husbands can be improved. It is a matter of the heart that becomes an issue of the will.

If we will, then we can.

We can love our wives and love them in those ways which will keep the glimmer in their eyes.

Now, what about the husband who feels he is doing all he can, including doing the little things, and it is still not enough? Sometimes, but rarely, this is the case. But I believe that even in such isolated cases, the initiative to first express love is still in the man’s court. Christ first loved us, the Church. And remember, we are told to love our wives as Christ loved the Church. He loved us when we didn’t love Him and didn’t receive His love.

Men are to be the leaders, role models, and priests over their households. When we sow love, we will reap love. The fruit of a blessed marriage is gathered after we sow the beautiful seeds of Christ-filled love.

Remember what I said a few moments ago.

If we will, then we can.

The good news is, the man who loves his wife will be blessed, happy, and full of joy!

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Kristy, here: He looks pretty blessed, happy, and full of joy in the picture above, right? :)