WRITING THE MALE POV, PART 3

We really need to crawl into our character's skin for deep characterization. That means we need to see things through their eyes, feel how they would feel, talk like that would talk, etc.

In talking about writing male POV, Randy Ingermanson has more to say.

Randy says,
It's been nice to see this resurgence of interest in the male POV lately. I'm currently reading For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I was going to get it on Amazon and then discovered that MY WIFE BOUGHT THIS BOOK ALREADY! Lucky me. So I'm reading it. In the book, Shaunti reveals seven things women don't know about men. And one of her big points is that not only do women not know this stuff, they don't even know they don't know it.

So as I've been reading the book (I'm about half through it), I keep thinking, "Duh, this is all pretty obvious. How can women claim not to know this stuff? How dumb is that?"

Then I realized that I'm just as dumb. Because even though this stuff is obvious to me, it never occurred to me that it's not obvious to women. So I didn't know women don't know this stuff, and I didn't even know that I didn't know.

It's not bad when you don't know. It's bad when you don't know that you don't know.

If you sat in my class on the male POV last year at American Christian Fiction Writers conference (http://www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com), you'll know that I claimed there are three basic ways men are different from women:
1) Ego (this is maybe 80% of the difference)
2) Sex drive (this is maybe 15% of the difference)
3) Logical thinking versus emotional thinking (this is the other 5%)

Author Shaunti Feldhahn is pretty much in line with me on those three things, so far as I can tell. This is a big relief to me because she actually did some research. I just pulled stuff out of my own experience and my own observations of other guys. One thing I like about Shaunti's book is that she gives the actual statistics, so you can see what the majority of guys thinks and what the minority thinks, and what the margins are.

As an example, she asked a zillion guys the question: If you had to live without being loved by anyone, or, live without being respected by anyone, which would you choose?

74% chose to live without being loved.
26% chose to live without being respected.
A sizable fraction of the guys, however, were confused because they didn't see a difference between the two choices.

Shaunti gives you the answers guys gave to several of these questions. And this is crucial for your writing. As somebody noted, if you want to construct a realistic male character, you need to have them think like the majority of guys. Which means your guys are all going to be stereotypes.

This is almost correct. Here's the problem: If you make your guy answer like the majority of Real Guys on every point, then your guy will have two problems:
1) He will be the Stereotypical Male Character, and your editor will hate him
2) He will be unlike any guy on the planet, because every guy deviates from the majority of guys on a few points. Even I do. :)

I would rephrase the procedure this way. If you want to construct a realistic male character, you need to have him think like the majority of guys ON MOST POINTS, but it's permissible for your character to think like the majority of women ON SOME POINTS. And there are a zillion different ways to choose the points where the guy will be stereotypically Real Guy and the points where he will be stereotypically Real Girl.

There is a problem, of course. On the points where your guy does not behave like a Real Guy, some readers will think, "But Real Guys don't think like that." The solution is extremely simple. You acknowledge that your guy is different from Real Guys on this point.

There are a billion ways to do this:
1) "Joe hated the way most guys leered at every hot babe who walked down the street."
2) "Wow, Johnny," Jane cooed. "I love that you can express your feelings. Most guys can't."
3) "No, I don't care that you beat me at checkers, Minnie," Mickey said. "I guess the other guys killed my pesky male ego in junior high by asking me every day if I was a man or a mouse."

Bottom line:
1) Know the stereotypes
2) Follow them on most points
3) Deviate from them on a few points
4) Let your reader know that you know you are deviating from the norm

Do this, and your guys will be as real as any Real Guy on the street.

Thanks, Randy, for your comments. You can find him at http://www.rsingermanson.com. And, as publisher of Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, you can also find him at http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com

WRITING THE MALE POV, PART 2

We're talking about how to write male POV. As I said on a previous post, we discussed this on our loop for American Christian - Fiction Writers http://www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com. I'm quoting several writers with permission.

Cheryl said:
I've been following this thread. Writing male POV is one of my weaknesses, soI interviewed a few males around me today. I found a clothing catalogue with two models standing side by side. One in a leopard print, calf-length dress, the other in a bright pink mini skirt. My interview subjects ranged from age 18 to 76 and there were five of them, with two in their thirties and one mid-fifties.

I asked them how they liked the colors of the dresses and what they would call them. Here are the responses I got:

Subject #1: "Wow. She works out."

Subject #2: Leans in. Blinks. Grins. "That skirt is, uh…" he snickers "…yeah." Hands catalog to subject #3.

Subject #3 presses nose to page. Flips magazine over to look at cover. "Where'd you get this?" Flips back to page, honing in on supermodel page. Note to myself: get Gramps a subscription to JC Penny clothing catalog for Christmas. Wait, maybe not. Don't think his BP could take it.

Subject #4: "You gonna buy that one?" (Yes, this subject is my husband. Yes, he pointed to the pink micro mini skirt. Yes, I told him I could buy the skirt but unless I grew two feet and lost 100 of my 164 pounds, I was NOT going to look like that. Yes, I tossed the magazine. No, not one of them actually answered my original interview questions.)Oh, by the way.

Subject # 5 was my 18 YO nephew. He had no comment,but his wide eyes and goofy grin told me he didn't notice the color of the skirt either. Just the length. I found out all I need to know about the male POV today.

Kristy: I read aloud most of the male POV posts to my dh, Milton. We both got our chuckles for the day. Mercy, he's given me male POV instruction since the day we got married! When I read Cheryl's post about her five male interviewees, he said, "That's the way God made us." Milton and I teach Joy in Marriage seminars. I teach women that Dr. James Dobson says males think about sex every five seconds. Yep. You read that right. (A disclaimer here: not all men think this way; more about that in my next post.)

She says let's go shopping.
He thinks then we'll have sex afterward.
She says please fix the shower.
He thinks so we can have sex in it.
She says don't you need a haircut?
He thinks only if it leads to sex.
She says behave at the party tonight.
He thinks or no sex for me.
She says home at last.
He thinks sex, sex, sex!
She says I'm so tired I can hardly move.
He thinks no sex.
She says what do you think about taking a cruise?
He thinks sex with waves!
She says did you read that article about endangered species?
He thinks no connection with sex; did not understand; cannot respond.
She says I think we should become more active in issues that affect the
community.
He thinks same as above.

So many men...so little aspirin! VERY BIG GRIN

That's why it's so fun and exciting to write CHRISTIAN romance! The sparks are
flying but the couple can't consummate until they walk the aisle. Talk about
titillation? The world doesn't know what it's missing.

More to follow on writing male POV.

WRITING THE MALE POV, PART 1

We had an interesting discussion about male POV (point of view) on the American Christian Fiction Writers loop. http://www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com. As we write, we need to make our writing ring true. Here's a portion of our discussion, which I'm using with permission.

This from Debra:
I'm not quite sure I'll ask this right so bare (sic) with me...I read a story where the male was looking at the heroine (female lead character) and how she was dressed. From his POV, it was in detail. I thought to myself, Would he really think that? So, my question is, When you are in a male POV, and he is looking at the heroine and seeing how she is dressed, are we supposed to write what type of clothing she's wearing? What I mean is...my husband wouldn't look at a female and think, That's a nice pink paisley cotton dress she's wearing. However, he might think, She looks good in that pink dress with the funny squiggly things on it. Or, more realistically, She looks nice in that pink dress.

So, when we are in the male POV, do we go ahead and write things like, She looked great in her pink paisley cotton dress. Would that be believable? Or do we really go inside the guy's head and write something like, Her pink dress hung slightly below her knees, showing off shapely calves. Or would this be one of those things that you have to know your male character and what he would or would not notice? I realize some men would recognize a paisley pattern. But I'm betting most do not. And would a guy think cashmere sweater? Or instead, pink fuzzy-looking sweater. Levi blue jeans? Or dark blue jeans? Pink paisley dress? Or pink dress. We're always told to make it believable, and we want to give our readers a visual of what our characters are wearing at certain times.

Kristy: Wouldn't you know, Randy Ingermanson, A Real Guy and resident Male POV Authority at ACFW (SMILE), gave us a good answer. Randy Ingermanson, publisher of Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com and http://www.rsingermanson.com, had this to say. Randy has a great sense of humor. Chuckle along with me:

Deb: I'm not quite sure I'll ask this right so bare with me...

Randy: OK, I'm baring right now…Done! Totally bare!

Deb: …or, more realistically, would my husband would think, She looks nice in that pink dress?

Randy: Bingo!

Deb: So, when we are in the male POV, do we go ahead and write things like, She looked great in her pink paisley cotton dress. Would that be believable?

Randy: Never, never, never! What is paisley? A vegetable, right?

Deb: Or do we really go inside the guy's head and write something like, Her pink dress hung slightly below her knees, showing off shapely calves.

Randy: Guys do not call calves "shapely." Depending on the guy (and the calf), he might call it "sexy," "buff, "skinny," "warty", or "cone-shaped." But never "shapely." That's a girl word. Guys don't use girl words.

Deb: Or would this be one of those things that you have to know your male character and what he would or would not notice? I realize some men would recognize a paisley pattern.

Randy: I have no idea whether paisley is a pattern, a color, or a food. Or all three.

Deb: But I'm betting, most do not.

Randy: You're right. 80% of all guys would not.

Deb: And would a guy think, Cashmere sweater?

Randy: Cashmere is OK. Guys know cashmere. They are more likely to be interested in what the cashmere covers, but that's another story. Guys don't care whether the sweater is made of cashmere or paisley, as long as it fits snugly.

Deb: Or instead, pink fuzzy-looking sweater? Levi blue jeans?

Randy: Guys wear Levis. Guys will easily spot girls wearing Levis and will be more interested in what lies beneath the surface of the Levis than in the Levis themselves. (Guys are like that--they are not interested in mere surface appearance, unless it is chrome or leather.) Guys do not waste extra words such as "blue jeans" when all Levis of any Guy-value are blue and jeanlike. This guy is wearing Levis right now. They are blue. They are jeanlike. They have holes. The holes are in the back and are no bigger than the average python, so it does not matter. Guys do not care about holes in clothes. This guy has a favorite black shirt with a hole in the back of the neck roughly the size of a squirrel. This guy's evil wife wants to throw this shirt away FOR NO GOOD REASON! Any Real Guy will wear something until the holes are the size of a giraffe. Then he will ask his wife to fix it. Signed, A Real Guy

More to follow on writing male POV…

WRITING THE MALE POV, PART 3

We really need to crawl into our character's skin for deep characterization. That means we need to see things through their eyes, feel how they would feel, talk like that would talk, etc.

In talking about writing male POV, Randy Ingermanson has more to say.

Randy says,
It's been nice to see this resurgence of interest in the male POV lately. I'm currently reading For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn. I was going to get it on Amazon and then discovered that MY WIFE BOUGHT THIS BOOK ALREADY! Lucky me. So I'm reading it. In the book, Shaunti reveals seven things women don't know about men. And one of her big points is that not only do women not know this stuff, they don't even know they don't know it. So as I've been reading the book (I'm about half through it), I keep thinking, "Duh, this is all pretty obvious. How can women claim not to know this stuff? How dumb is that?"

Then I realized that I'm just as dumb. Because even though this stuff is obvious to me, it never occurred to me that it's not obvious to women.

So I didn't know women don't know this stuff, and I didn't even know that I didn't know. It's not bad when you don't know. It's bad when you don't know that you don't know.

If you sat in my class on the male POV last year at American Christian Fiction Writers conference (http://www.americanchristianfictionwriters.com), you'll know that I claimed there are three basic ways men are different from women:
1) Ego (this is maybe 80% of the difference)
2) Sex drive (this is maybe 15% of the difference)
3) Logical thinking versus emotional thinking (this is the other 5%)

Author Shaunti Feldhahn is pretty much in line with me on those three things, so far as I can tell. This is a big relief to me because she actually did some research. I just pulled stuff out of my own experience and my own observations of other guys. One thing I like about Shaunti's book is that she gives the actual statistics, so you can see what the majority of guys thinks and what the minority thinks, and what the margins are. As an example, she asked a zillion guys the question: If you had to live without being loved by anyone, or, live without being respected by anyone, which would you choose?

74% chose to live without being loved.
26% chose to live without being respected.
A sizable fraction of the guys, however, were confused because they didn't see a difference between the two choices.

Shaunti gives you the answers guys gave to several of these questions. And this is crucial for your writing. As somebody noted, if you want to construct a realistic male character, you need to have them think like the majority of guys. Which means your guys are all going to be stereotypes.

This is almost correct. Here's the problem: If you make your guy answer like the majority of Real Guys on every point, then your guy will have two problems:

1) He will be the Stereotypical Male Character, and your editor will hate him
2) He will be unlike any guy on the planet, because every guy deviates from the majority of guys on a few points. Even I do. :)

I would rephrase the procedure this way. If you want to construct a realistic male character, you need to have him think like the majority of guys ON MOST POINTS, but it's permissible for your character to think like the majority of women ON SOME POINTS.

And there are a zillion different ways to choose the points where the guy will be stereotypically Real Guy and the points where he will be stereotypically Real Girl. There is a problem, of course. On the points where your guy does not behave like a Real Guy, some readers will think, "But Real Guys don't think like that."

The solution is extremely simple. You acknowledge that your guy is different from Real Guys on this point. There are a billion ways to do this:
1) "Joe hated the way most guys leered at every hot babe who walked down the street."
2) "Wow, Johnny," Jane cooed. "I love that you can express your feelings. Most guys can't."
3) "No, I don't care that you beat me at checkers, Minnie," Mickey said. "I guess the other guys killed my pesky male ego in junior high by asking me every day if I was a man or a mouse."

Bottom line:
1) Know the stereotypes
2) Follow them on most points
3) Deviate from them on a few points
4) Let your reader know that you know you are deviating from the norm

Do this, and your guys will be as real as any Real Guy on the street.

Thanks, Randy, for your comments. You can find him at http://www.rsingermanson.com. And, as publisher of Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, you can also find him at http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com

AH, LOVE STORIES...

Milton and I celebrated our anniversary on August 14. That night, we went to Sonic Burger and ate onion rings dipped in ketchup, a hamburger (me), a foot-long dog (him), and milkshakes. It was so romantic, sitting there on the picnic tables with waiters whizzing by on roller skates (we got out of the car because it was so hot). Heehee. We would've gone somewhere fancy, but we'd had two week-long trips to Denver this summer where we'd eaten in wonderful restaurants plus we had upcoming reserverations for a two-night stay at The Florida House Inn B&B on Amelia Island, so we were satisfied with Sonic.

Funny thing is, that afternoon he asked me where I'd like to go to eat. I thought Sonic Burger. I said where do you want to go? He said Sonic Burger. I said I was thinking the same thing. So that's where we ended up. Then we went to the beach and walked hand in hand on the seashore, the surfers in the water trying to catch a wave and the fishermen on the pier trying to catch a fish.

It's nice when you don't have to impress each other anymore. Love for a lifetime is a comforting love and a comfortable love. Oh, there are still sparks. I encourage couples to revisit the sizzle, meaning keeping sparks alive in your marriage. That's what Milton and I teach in our Joy in Marriage seminars. But it's great having a spouse who can almost read your thoughts.

Now, if we just won't start looking like each other!! They say that's what happens to couples. Wonder what I'll look like with black hair and him with red? :)

THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN, PART 4

Sorry my picture makes me look cockeyed. Don't know why, except I'm standing in the sunshine in front of my trio of citrus trees-orange, tangerine, and grapefruit--and the sun makes my light-colored eyes look funny. At least in this small version. My eyes really are looking straight at you, even if they appear to be looking sideways. :) That reminds me of a church member from long ago. One eye looked straight at you, and the other did an around-the-clock. I never knew where to look when I talked to her. :) I didn't want her to feel self-conscious.

I just read the review of the movie The 40-Year-Old Virgin on the website I posted yesterday: www.pluggedinonline.com. I absolutely cannot believe the garbage contained in it. Up until then, I didn't even know it was rated R. I thought it was PG-13. I'm so lilywhite, it sounds like it needs an X rating. Do they even have X ratings anymore? I wouldn't know.

I'd like to applaud all virgins. That reminds me of a joke. (Remember, this is a joke. No pastor would ever do such a thing.) One Sunday morning, a pastor said, "I'd like to honor all the virgins this morning. If you're a virgin, please come up to the platform and let us recognize you." Six young ladies made their way to the platform and lined up facing the audience. One of them was great with child. "Ahem--" the pastor cleared his throat, looking at the pregnant one "--I said we'd like to honor the virgins." "Yes, sir," she said, her eyelashes fluttering, "I'm one of those foolish virgins." I don't think that came across as funny in writing as it does in the telling of it.
If you've kept your virginity--or claimed secondary virginity and pledged abstinence from now on--God bless you. A reward's coming. Just keep doing what you know is right. Keep taking the hard right over the easy wrong. Keep saying no to the good (yes, sex is good) so you can yes to the best.

And now, let me bless you, as they did in the Bible. I bless you in the name of the Lord, that He will give you strength and fortitude to continue this walk, that He will go before you and clear the path, that He will guide you in all truths, that He will bless you abundantly because you are seeking after Him, for the Word says, "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." In Christ's name. Amen.