Wednesday, January 14, 2009



For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.


Working through transition is hard, but I promise you that after 37 years with Kristy that she never beat around the bush or waited on anything. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go! That was Kristy all the way. She would not stand for me to be lagging or overly pining away or wilting in life. I know grief is a process that is healed over time by God's grace and I am gradually moving forward in that process.

The day after Kristy's funeral I gave jewelry and clothing of Kristy's to daughters and family members. Changes have been made periodically and gradually all those these last weeks and months.

But change  is hard and I have cried tears and then more tears as necessary transition is taking place. 

Today I went to pick out a marker for her grave. As mentioned in an earlier post, my daughters and I chose to put on her marker "Pizzazz! Enthusiasm! High Energy! 

Those words described Kristy very clearly. I had called the marker company and found that the type of marker for the area Kristy is buried allows only four words on the marker. As I talked on the phone I counted the words on my fingers. Yes, there were exactly four words that we had chosen for Kristy. Amazing! What if they allowed on three words? Or, what if we had chosen ten words? Well, all things work together for good....

Norma has been helping work through some changes here in my house while they are here and Ron is preaching for me. They were present Sunday when Wanda greeted my church and Ron spoke and helped make the introduction easier for Wanda and me. 

These changes slowly and smoothly but yet with some hurt have been taking place. It is the right time and is happening in the right way. 

I was excited to have Wanda in church on Sunday. She was calm, collected, cool, and cute! It was good to have her with me and it was the first time for us to be in my church together. My congregation could not have been kinder or more gracious. That is just their manner. They are great!

But it was different to have Wanda there and not Kristy. It felt different. It looked different. It was different. That is the obvious. 

But that is OK. I know Kristy and I know that she was pleased. She probably wondered why it had taken so long and why everyone took so long to know what she had know first of all as God had shown her God's plan for us to be together. I am blessed and so grateful for God's goodness and faithfulness to me. God know what I need and is here to meet my needs now.

I wept more tears today when I arrived home with the changes. The changes are right. They are good and they are at the right time. But the changes of pictures and some changes of certain decor in the house speak of the obvious again. Kristy is gone. That still hurts.

But the hurt is being comforted and the future is before me and that is what Kristy wanted for me. Push! Push! Push! Go! Go! Go!

This blog is in the process of changing and winding down with a new blog being developed. My daughters and writing some final thought for this blog as Jennifer as already posted her thoughts. I will be sharing final thoughts on this blog over the weekend. 

Change is happening. There are tears and there is hurt and there is expectation of new joy and new things and new plans and new dreams and Kristy would want that sooner rather than later.

That was Kristy's way. It is right way for me right now.


At 8:42 AM, Blogger B. J. Brooks said...

You described the Kristy I knew to perfection, grass did not grow under her feet. She knew what she wanted and went after it.

I'm sure if it were possible that she would indeed question why it has taken so long.

Many Blessings
B.J. Brooks

At 11:02 AM, Blogger THOMBU1 said...

I pray the Lord will wrap His hand of comfort and joy around you as He keeps ou in the Hollow of His Hands.

At 3:51 PM, Blogger Rambling On said...

So bittersweet.

I'm thankful you have Norma to help make those painful but needed changes around the house. I've always said there's nothing like the support of a sister.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Ava Tanner said...

Bro Dykes:

It has been great reading your blog and hearing you describe your life with Kristy in such detail. Having known you both for several years I have witnessed firsthand your lives together as a couple.

Now to hear you describe your 'new love' and the desire to be with her is great. Having known both Kristy and Wanda for many years, I believe that God is working in your life to fulfill a desire of your heart.

The bible does say that it is not good for man to be alone, so God is supplying a helpmate for you. And I do not believe that the Lord could have chosen any better woman for you.

May the Lord bless you both on this wonderful journey of love.

Ava Tanner

At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your story is intertwined with drama and suspense, romance and sorrow, and Kristy could not have written a better novel if she'd tried. I've laughed and sighed and wept and bawled outright. And it is not over.

The Lord is orchestrating a beautiful future. These are labor pangs-necessary in order to usher in His next chapter. Go in his grace and go without guilt. You and Wanda both deserve this second chapter, and your families are obviously behind you.

At 9:08 PM, Blogger nanatrish said...

I am so happy for you and look forward to reading your new blog. They say the one thing that is constant is change. We can't stay just the same forever. You have been sad and grieving and I feel confident Kristy would want you to move on. I am anxious to see pictures of you and Wanda. She sounds like a sweet Christian woman and I am so glad you are happy. Please continue sharing and know that we are out here praying for you and Wanda and your families. God is so good and He knows just what we need.


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