Friday, March 21, 2008

I'M NOT GOING TO SAY GOODBYE

Milton, here:


Our daughter Jennifer wrote this on her blog recently. She lives in beautiful San Juan, Puerto Rico, on the twenty-second floor in the condominium pictured in her article below and the two other pictures look out her kitchen window. We made a trip last October to see Jennifer and her family. What fun we had in old San Juan!

That was one delicious Puerto Rican fish I ate!


***

Jennifer wrote:


God is so awesome, so good to me!

I just spent a wonderful week with my mother. The kids and I got to spend quality time with her. I know this time was a gift from God. He's so good to us!

My mom seemed almost her old self. She played with the kids, bathed them, fed them, read to them, painted with them, sang to them.

My dad took the kids to zoo one day so I could have some alone time with my mom. We sat around her kitchen table and talked and talked... things a mother and daughter who are best friends can talk about. I'll never forget her advice and words of wisdom. I wrote down some of what she said and I know I'll pull strength from her words. She quoted scripture, we prayed together, we praised God together.

To be honest I was a little nervous about this trip. Afraid how I would react to her. Would I cry at odd times? Could I hold myself together? Would it be painful seeing her, all the while knowing this could be the last time we... eat at Red Lobster together, go to Starbucks, attend church and worship side by side.

Would this be the last time I saw her smile, read to the kids and best of all give me advice? When I was a teen her constant advice annoyed me, but she never gave up. She tucked little gems into my heart that I now use as a mother, wife, friend, and Christian.

Sometime during the trip I felt the Lord speak to me. He whispered into my heart, "this isn't goodbye." I understand now what He meant when He spoke to me in November and I felt Him say "it's going to be OK." I didn't know then what that meant, how can my mom dying be OK?

The Lord has impressed upon my heart to keep my eyes, heart and desires on heaven. This is how I am going to get through this.

I'm not going to say goodbye to my mother, ever. For whatever reason she's being called home early, leaving us behind. Now is my time to respond to the call God had put inside my heart and continue to become the woman of faith He made me to be.

It's going to be OK because death is not the end. It's a temporary separation. As long as I keep my eyes on heaven, the pain and fear fade away and joy creeps in! Then I think of my sweet Savior. I picture His face and call out His name and I feel such love and peace. It's hard to describe.

I'm not going to run from my pain. I'm not going to hide from it and I'm not going to be afraid. I'm facing it side by side with Jesus and with Him it's not hard!

12 Comments:

At 5:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jennifer, these are good words for anytime in life. None of us have a guarantee. My folks are very elderly, and everytime they go home I know it could be the last time we see them. Keeping your eyes on heaven and Jesus is the only way. What a blessing your family is.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Richard Mabry said...

Milton and Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing. Your journey brings back memories of my own, and my heart aches for you and all the family. But, Jennifer, you're right. When we go into another room, one in which others will be joining us, there's no reason for a "goodbye." Maybe a "see you later," but not "goodbye."
Kristy, we continue to pray for you and yours.
Blessings.
"Dr. Richard"

 
At 8:56 PM, Blogger Sharlene MacLaren said...

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL TRIBUTE TO THE JOYS OF SERVING A STRONG, LOVING, CAPABLE GOD. YOU GIVE US ALL SO MUCH HOPE -- NOT ONLY YOU, PRECIOUS JENNIFER, WITH YOUR COURAGEOUS WORDS--BUT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AS WELL.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING US A PEEK INTO YOUR AMAZING JOURNEY! WE ARE LEARNING FROM YOU.

HUGS, BLESSINGS, PRAYERS, AND L-O-V-E!!!!!

SHAR MACLAREN

 
At 9:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jennifer, I am so blessed by your writings. You're making this journey, along with your Mom and Dad, in a very courageous manner. Know that many prayer warriors are out here pulling for not only your Mom and Dad, but you, Julie and those children! "I'm so glad I'm a part of the family of God, I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed by His Blood...." Blessings to you and yours!
Kate

 
At 9:19 AM, Blogger Karen Eve said...

Thank you for sharing Jennifer, it is true, death is only a temporary separation when you know you're going to be together again. It is still hard to lose someone, but we have hope - one of the greatest gifts.
You are doing the right things, preparing your heart for the worst and spending the time you can with your mom while she is here, yet still believing that Daddy God can heal her, even raise her from the dead. We see through a glass so dimly on this side of heaven and have little comprehension of the hows and whys in God's kingdom. We're just not there yet. The good news is, as your mom has stated in this blog, she gets healed no matter what, whether it's on earth or in heaven - her healing is guaranteed.
In the meantime, those of us who are supporting your family in prayer will continue to pray as God leads us. I will continue to pray for your mom's earthly healing and for your family. As the saying goes, we'll keep your back covered. Jesus will keep you covered.
Blessings

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

Jennifer, Milton and most of all, Kristy:

For Christians, the word death is a misnomer. The word is BIRTH! And earth is the Christian's womb. Only when God determines the time is right, the Christian is born into eternity. The celebration is Heaven is a grand one we can look forward to when once again we reunite with our loved ones.

 
At 11:29 AM, Blogger Margo Carmichael said...

Milton, that looks like Peter's Fish that I ate on a dinner cruise on the Sea of Galilee. It was wonderful.

I send you big cyber hugs,(((Jennifer))) and I'm still praying!

God bless you all,
Margo

 
At 11:53 AM, Blogger Kristy Dykes said...

Thanks, all, for your comments. I love hearing from you.

 
At 1:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Kristy,
I left a message for you under yesterday's blog comments instead of this one accidently. Be sure to check!
Luv, Sharon Hoffman

 
At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Carrie Turansky said...

Dear Kristy, Milton, and Jennifer,
Thanks for sharing these precious thoughts with us. What a great perspective on life here on earth and in heaven.

Jennifer, I am so glad you had a good visit with your Mom and made some wonderful memories together. You have a blessed heritage and you are carrying it on in a way that makes your parents' hearts glad. We are all encouraged by your words. God bless you all. We continue to lift you all up daily.

Happy Easter! May the resurrection of our Saviour and His promises of eternal life bring you great hope and joy!

Love and a hug from NJ,
Carrie

 
At 8:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I could only just give you all hugs! Everyday I am more and more in awe of your faith and your strength. My heart aches for you all and at the same time praying to have something you all have found in this time of your life....pure joy & peace in our sweet saviour. I am certain there are tough moments, times when you just feel weary and just simply want to know why, but your joy seems to come in the morning!
I wish you all a beautiful Easter. And send the entire family many hugs and prayers,
In His Grip,
Margaret

 
At 12:11 AM, Anonymous deborah anderson said...

((((((((((Jennifer))))))))))

Hold fast to what the Lord has given you, which I already know in my heart that you will. You're a strong woman who takes after her mother. :-)

The Lord showed me the same things as He did you, as well as much of what Ane said in her post above, after I had suffered much loss.

He showed me that when a baby is born into this world, we all celebrate. Yet we're all born into sin so it's actually a form of death in God's eyes. This place is temporary. It's not our home.

When someone dies, however, we all mourn, but it's just the opposite to God. He views the death of His saints like we view the birth of a child. He celebrates. We're born into eternal life, and we walk through the door into our heavenly home.

Our loved ones, all who have passed on before us and all who will pass, are just on the other side of that door. The only thing that separates us is the grave, and it's only temporary, so you're absolutely right.

There is no saying goodbye.

God bless you, honey.

 

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