WHAT DOES A HUSBAND SAY?

The girls and the kiddies ran down to the mall for about an hour before lunch is delivered--a hot lunch coming to the house--so it's noon (I taped this on a minicassette recorder, and am transcribing now) just looking and windowshopping. Just might buy me a turquoise shirt.

***
Milton said last night he wants to spend two hours with me this afternoon, and so we're going to get the kids settled and he and I are going to go off somehwere, maybe a park. We love outdoor settings. We're going to sit down and talk. What is he going to say to me? WHAT IS HE GOING TO SAY, KNOWING HIS WIFE IS FACING BRAIN SUGERY?>?

***

I've decided I'm going to tape record what he says, and I might share some of it with you.

***

I'm shopping and starting to tear up thinking about Milton and what he's going to say to me, because the name of this website is Christian Love Stories, and, um, we live a true love story (crying now, right here in Belk's), not a perfect one, but we're committed.

***

Man, it's so funny when you go in a mall facing brain surgery. Everything pales in comparison. Schedules have now...I don't even look at my calender any more, and I couldn't go a day without looking at my calendar! But...it doesn't matter anymore. It's not important. All that's important is family, and relationships, and God (crying up again; getting a couple of compassionate AND curious stares from shoppers).

***

Been feeling light headed all morning, but I don't think it's the meds. I think it's from losing so much sleep. Ya just can't get any sleep around here, a play on what comedien Rodney Dangerfield used to say (he said "respect" haha).

***

I ended up buying three pairs of earrings and two shirts. I guess when you're facing brain surgery, you just kinda' go a little shopping crazy. And then we were walking out of the store, and I saw this real pretty emerald green and black dress. It has three quarter length sleeves, a v-neck, and a flounced hem, and I couldn't resist. I tried it on real quick, liked it, and it's really cute. I probably shouldn't've bought all that because our insurance doesn't cover medications, but we'll be okay. Norma called all the pharmacies and comparison shopped. She got them fora good deal. Thank You, Jesus.

***

The docs last Fri. and also yesterday said they really don't know what's in my head until they get in there. They showed us the filmes, and they said it's golf-ball sized. The doc at Mayo last Wed. said it was the size of an orange, but this doc says he doesn't like food comparisons. Doesn't matter to me! This doc said it could be a primary brain cancer which is incurable; he said it could even be cellulitis. Google that! I came down with cellulitis June 29 following oral surgery to remove uipper impacted, troubling wisdom teeth, and my jaws locked for two weeks, necessitating a second surgery the same week under anesthesia again. It was awful. Left cheek (left side is where this THING is) swelled up bigger than a golf ball. I googled it during that time, and it said cellulitis can go to the brain. That's interesting. Whatever it is, the Lord knows. I'm in His hands, and I KNOW He's going to see me through.

***

Norma just found a Sag Harbor jacket, and by the time they take the sale discounts off, I think they're going to have to pay HER to take it out of the store.