THE TRYON TRAGEDY

Milton, here for Kristy:

There are many reasons why mourning and grieving are natural processes of life and death. Denying or suppressing it, or ignoring it or staying busy and camouflaging it are not Biblical or practical ways to face the death of a beloved. Deep love, sweet love, growing love, faithful love, passionate love, overcoming love is never glossed over and forgotten by a few smooth, strategic decisions. 

I know that my life must go forward and I know that by God's grace that I can go forward. Kristy certainly expressed her love for me in encouraging me to face the hurt, loss, loneliness, and 

separation with an awareness that God heals and helps soothe the pain. 

Kristy was never one to mull over disappointments. She didn't sulk or hold grudges. Life was too short and there was always too much to do than to be frozen with fears or damaged feelings. She was quick to the punch and fast to move ahead. All through the journey of life including her brain tumor illness, she had a plan. "What's the plan," she would ask us? Even when pain was clouding her thoughts, she wanted to get things done and move ahead.

That is a great way to walk through life. Today is a new day. I will not gloss over or cover up what has happened in losing my beloved, but I will go forward. There is much to do and much to accomplish. 

I will grieve and mourn her loss. Some of it has been very transparent and some of it will never be seen. It will work its way through my mind, emotions, spirit, and soul. We were so very close as partners in life and ministry. It isn't easy and it won't be easy, but I 

will go forward and celebrate our marriage, her life, and our common purposes.

When I was in New Bern, NC, I visited the Tryon Palace which was built for the first governor of the British Colony of North Carolina. It is an interesting and historic place with lots of stories popping out from every corner. Kristy would have seen love stories everywhere in this place. We visited the Palace together years ago with the four family ministry couples. I saw memories of our love in this place too.

 

One of the tragedies of the Tryon family was the untimely death of there daughter, Margaret, who died while attempting to elope with a footman. He was considered unfit for her to marry by her parents so she tried to climb out of her second story bedroom to secretly run off with him. She fell and died from being impaled on a fence below. This happened in England when she and her mother had left New Bern.

Another interesting place in New Bern is the soda fountain where the first Pepis was made. Kristy would have made sure we stopped in there for a refreshing drink on a hot and humid day like New Bern was experiencing during my visit.

She would have pulled out her note pad and pen and scribbled notes of what she saw and the story that would have been forming in her mind. I can see Kristy now outlining her new novel and excitedly sharing her new work with me. That is what made her so special. Life with Kristy was exciting with so many new dreams appearing everyday.

Tragedies are not uncommon in life. All of us deal with some kind of tragedy. The question is how will we face it.  Losing Kristy is the greatest tragedy by far I have faced, but I will mourn her and grieve over her loss and let God give me grace to go forward.