Saturday, October 04, 2008


Milton, here for Kristy:

Continuing on Sex for the Saints:

My heart is touched by some of the comments from the last post. I understand and respect the feeling of one who expressed a desire to read about other parts of my journey. Yet, I know that there are those who will learn, grow, and help others by what I share on this topic.

Kristy and I have given our lives to help people in broken situations. God is a restorative, redemptive God who turns ashes into beauty. He heals sexual brokenness and dysfunction. He helps couples through dry times and times when physical inability restricts sexual fulfillment. He helps make a way when one partner is not living up to promised vows. Over and over I have seen God's grace help when there is need.

The last months of Kristy's illness before her death was one of the sweetest, most romantic, and tender times of our marriage. We had enjoyed the fireworks and the fun for almost 37 years and then suddenly Kristy was stricken by a horrible brain tumor that led to her eventually being bedridden and then dying.

Those last months I kissed her hundreds and hundreds of times. I smelled her neck and held her dear hands and looked long into her eyes. We could not share and enjoy the fireworks and fun that we previously had all those years, but there was fireworks and their was fun beyond expression. Our love story grew during that time even though it was grievously difficult for her and for me. My heart was breaking for my beloved as her body, spirit, and mind weakened and then left me, but the love and the fireworks and the fun continued.

Life is not always ideal. The sparks don't always come from the same form and function once known before. 

To the one whose spouse is not physically able to share in sexual relations there can still be tenderness and romance and fireworks and fun. Enjoy the looks, the love, the light moments, and the kind touch of holding hands.

To the one whose spouse has not be faithful, God is able to redeem and heal. He is a mighty restorer. Give Him time to heal and make things new.

To the one whose mate is not as attentive as needed, let God give you new insight on how to talk, counsel, and get help so your marriage can thrive sexually again.

To the one whose virtue was given before marriage, God can return purity and wholeness so that the regrets of past sins no longer linger. He will make your intimacy exceed your spiritual dreams.

To the single and one now alone, His grace and contentment will exceed the pain of living without a life mate.

Talks about sex for the saints always have a silver lining. God makes all things new and good.



At 10:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you, Milton, for sharing this series and your heart. Kristy was an advocate of romance, and sex is a vital part of romance for every married couple. Sadly, too many married couples put sex on the bottom of their "to do" list. I know, 'cuz I've done that myself. It's NOT healthy and it's not godly to leave sex out of marriage. "Once a week and twice on Sunday's" is what I was (jokingly) told as a young bride. I wish I'd listened. We've now been married 22 years, endured a major earthquake in our relationship, survived, and are now back on track, praise the Lord.

Keep preaching it, Milton!

At 12:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please keep following the leading of God on this subject. Paragraphs 5 and 6 especially apply to me. Thank you for addressing physical inabilities. This ministered to me.

Daily Reader

At 1:40 PM, Anonymous Jane Doe said...

Bro. Milton, I know this is not an advice column, but these posts about sex inside of marriage bring up many questions. Maybe you can touch on some of them in a future post:

1. What should a wife do when she has lost all interest in her husband, because he no longer takes care of his physical body? Does this fall into the "for better or worse" category, and, if so, how does she hide her lack of enthusiasm when making love? All of the subtle suggestions for him to have better hygeine are ignored. She doesn't know anything else to do. She doesn't want to be with him intimately, but feels obligated.

2. What should a wife do when her husband has no sex drive?

3. What should a wife do when her husband masturbates?

There are many more questions, and some of these may be too dicey for this blog. If so, I understand if you need to delete it.

God bless you for talking about this subject.

At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Milton,
I think this might be the bravest thing you've done so far in this blog! And I agree 100% that Kristy is smiling and encouraging you.

At 7:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. Excellent!
Brave--of course.

You are influencing couples and singles in your blog. 37 years of excellent sexual pleasure is what we all dream about.

Thanks for being inspirational to those of us who are still "alive and well" in marriage; and give continual inspiration to those who can learn to become healty in their marriage.

Thanks for Godly wisdom for singles who are searching for the truth in love so they may obtain a 'healthy relationship' in their future. Wish someone had been influential in our lives while we were yet single. It probably would have saved us from alot of pain and suffering--body, soul, mind, and spirit.

Forge on--Kristy is well pleased with you. I have no doubt!
We need your guidance. Help save and revive the 'living dead'. Help save those who need to prevent becoming the 'living dead'.

Praying for you.
Be encouraged.

At 2:07 AM, Blogger Gayle said...

Wise words; delicate subject.


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