Wednesday, October 08, 2008


Milton, here for Kristy:

Here is more thoughts on Sex for Saints:

Sexual love has to be protective love. It cannot be jealous or suspicious or a love that is overbearing, but it also has to be protective.

Kristy and I never questioned each other's faithfulness. We were virgins when we married. She knew that I respected her and I knew I could trust her because I knew that she was pure with me. She could trust me in marriage because she trusted me before marriage. I trusted her in marriage because I trusted her before marriage. 

Having said that we did work hard at protecting each other and guarding against Satan's attempts to pierce or wound us sexually. Kristy worked overtime at taking care of her man. I took care to stay close to her and to be blessed by her so there would be no reason to stray. God kept us for thirty-seven years.

Now, Kristy is in heaven and I am here alone. She is no longer at my side. We cannot share the sweetness of our love, our romance, our longings. Now, I have asked three persons that I have great confidence to stand as a guard over my life so that I will honor Him in this season. They are praying for me and standing guard with me so Satan will have no place in my life.

I have asked them to pray with me and call me to accountability and ask me how I am doing and if there is any area that the enemy of my soul has gained a foothold. They are to ask me how I am doing spiritually, and with being alone, and if there are areas that the enemy of my soul is gaining ground. They are part of my protective armor.

Kristy fulfilled that role  all of my adult life as well as being the God given fulfiller of my deepest desires as a man. The marriage bed is undefiled and is the place God intends the sexual dimension of our lives to be lived out. It is the place of fulfillment.

I counseled a couple on Monday night that I will perform their wedding this Saturday. I shared with them the sacredness of marriage and actually plan on following up with counseling sessions with this couple after their marriage. I told them that when we marry that our bodies are no longer ours but they belong to our spouse. I told them not to marry if you are not willing to fulfill the sexual desires of your mate. Marriage has many dimensions far beyond the sexual, but the sexual side is a big part of what God intended for marriage. As you can imagine, they both smiled big and grinned and got more excited as I counseled them. I told them that they were to lovingly fulfill their mates needs and wishes.

That is part of the protective side of sexual love. The bond is sealed and the desires are met in the marriage bed. Sexual love must include a protective love. Several years back we co-authored an article on preventing moral failure. God forgives and restores when there has been moral failure, but it is so much better to never fall into this trap of the devil. One main secret of preventing moral failure is setting right priorities. When we get life right it is hard to go wrong.

I like what one recent comment stated, "Sex is good."

That is right. Sex is good. God created it, and sexual purity is the best, so protect it.


At 9:37 AM, Blogger Robin Bayne said...

I think it's sweet that you are writing about your romance story. Still praying for you and your family.

At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your advice ought to be written across the top of every marriage certificate and framed on the bedroom wall.

Your decision to call trusted friends to accountability is such a godly step. Lord bless you as you walk with him. You are honoring God, your beautiful Kristy, your personal testimony, and your ministry. Wise, wise decision, and I admire you greatly for having made it.

At 9:00 PM, Anonymous jane doe said...

You're very wise to have accountability in your life, especially now that you are alone and without your life partner. The enemy knows how to come in like a flood.

How I wish I had been accountable to someone many years ago when I fell into sin and had an affair. It's been the heaviest burden to bear, even all these years later. My husband never found out, and I don't believe in telling everything you know. It would only crush him and there's no need to do that, knowingly. God has restored me in some areas, but I still struggle with guilt and find it very hard to be intimate with anyone now.

I wish you could counsel through this blog, but I understand the format doesn't lend itself to counseling.

Please keep me in your prayers.


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