Thursday, August 14, 2008


Milton, here for Kristy:

I am still overwhelmed by the kindness of my family and friends in honoring Kristy with setting up and giving for a Kristy Dykes Memorial Scholarship Fund at Southeaster University. May God bless everyone who has given to remember Kristy and bless future writers. Please read the post two days back to see how you can share in blessing others. 



The top three days in my life are:

September 29, 1949--My date of birth

A day in 1955--The date of my second birth

August 14, 1971--The date of our marriage

Today, August 14, 2008, would mark our 37th wedding anniversary.

I never forgot, not once, the anniversary our wedding date. We always celebrated in some fashion whether large or small. We celebrated our love, our friendship, our desires, our accomplishments, and God's goodness. 

How could I not feel blue, lost, and alone? Kristy is in heaven and I am here. We had wonderful, glorious years.

Kristy always loved the flowers, cards, gifts, and special dinners or get-a-ways. Wow, did we have fun and live large! I have and we have few regrets. We could have improved in many areas of our marriage, but we were faithful to each other and to God. 

I have many of our letters we wrote to each other in cards and in this blog and other means. I am glad I am not writing something that I wish I had written to her. We shared our love verbally, in ink, and in action. I am so very grateful that we did.

Today I will post a number of times what I remember and what was important to me on August 14, 1971.

I remember waking up thinking this is the day I have kept myself for to present my life and body to my dear beloved.

I remember waking up very tired because Ron, Terry, and Don tricked me the night before late into the night to go get something to eat. I was already asleep and they woke me up. They took me for a snack and then drove me out to Jacksonville Beach and threw me into the ocean with no clothes on and left me. 

I remember waking up in the little apartment right next to the church where my parents and I were staying  thinking in just a few hours Kristy will be forever mine.

I remember....


Today--9:21 AM 

I remember the morning whizzing by with activity preparing for the sacred moment of our vows yet to be made. Getting tuxedos, shoes, running errands, getting excited about our first night together.

I remember family being there to help. Cousin George who was a groomsmen and others.

I remember wondering if I had enough money to take our honeymoon? Dad co-signed a $400 loan to help us get started in life. I paid it off in a couple of years.

I remember....


Today--10:51 AM

I remember Kristy coming by the church delivering stuff for the ceremony, making sure everything was online to happen, finalizing details and not letting me see her. I stole a peek and thought how lucky, no blessed, I was.

I remember thinking guys have it easier than the girls on this wedding deal. I remember thinking about all the beautiful gifts that were given to us by so many.

I remember finalizing my list of four things to do. I remember thinking again that guys have it easier than the girls on this wedding deal.

I remember....


Today: 11:48 AM

I remember going to lunch with Ron McGee and some others. Can't remember where right now. I guess my mind was focused on one pretty redhead who was soon to be mine.

I remember thinking about a very serious contract I was about to sign with Kristy, The State of Florida, and God. It cost just a few bucks and a lifetime of shared living.

I remember wondering if the wedding and honeymoon would happen before Jesus would come back? Surely, He could wait a few hours. He had waited this long. What was a few hours?

I remember....


Today, 2:18 PM

I remember making sure that my clothes were packed and ready to go in my un-airconditioned Ford Fairlane. Remember, a poor ride is better than a proud walk.

I remember taking a deep breath and getting ready to head to the church. 

I remember wondering why we didn't have an afternoon wedding. We would be into the ceremony by now.

I remember....


Today: 3:51 PM

I remember arriving at the church all dressed up for a sacred, very spiritual moment.

I remember seeing Rev. Dale Zink and Rev. O. M. Dykes, my father, looking very serious and wanting to see our contract. I mean license. We were standing in Rev. Zink's study and I got my marital counseling. I was told not to try to figure her out. I was told to just love her. 

I remember Ron privately asking where the honorariums for the preachers were? We have to pay for this? I didn't know preachers needed to be paid for weddings. I wasn't a preacher just yet. I know now preachers need money too. Ron and I dashed off to get a couple of cards and crisp bills to pay the preachers.

I remember....


Today with tears: 6:03 PM

I remember hearing music and the preachers saying it is time, and a church decorated with flowers and  candles, and people all dressed up.

I remember sweet music, two unbelievable poems, the preachers' directives, and the solemnity of the hour, and beautiful bridesmaids and handsome groomsmen, and the most gorgeous redhead in the world in a white, spectacular gown. 

I remember sacred, holy vows to love and to cherish, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death we part, and rings and a prayer, and more music, and a pronouncement, and a sweet eternal kiss, and more music and laughter, and a beautiful reception and rice in our faces.

I remember....


Today: 7:38 PM

I remember leaving the church as my best man, Ron, drove the car and others followed as he sped away, and getting stopped by a policeman on the Main St. Bridge, and Ron talking his way out of his speeding, and the policeman making the others wait as we got away.

I remember going back to the Robert's house to load our un-airconditioned Ford Fairlane to go on our honeymoon, and more brother-in-laws kidnapping Kristy from me, and me wanting to shoot some brother-in-laws, and Rebecca taking up for us, and finally getting into the car, and Grace (Kristy's mother) embarrassing Kristy and me about some question or something, and stopping at the store around the corner to take care of the embarrassing question, and finally leaving Jacksonville.

I remember later that night knelling in our hotel room for prayer over our marriage and calling the Roberts to tell them I loved their daughter and would take care of her all the days of our lives.

I remember the purity of that night, our love, and our desires. 

I remember almost 37 years of fulfilling sacred vows of holy love and commitment.

I remember God's goodness on our lives and the blessings Kristy has been to me and so many others.

I remember....I remember....I remember....

If I write any more about that night, they would defrock me.


At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton, enjoy the sweet memories of today and know that the celebration does continue . . .you are just in two different locations. Kristy is celebrating too. Savor the love, the memories and do something special for yourself today . . .or better yet, have another twinkie!

At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Once again, Milton, you tug at the heart strings. In less than a month, you lost Kristy's earthly presence, experienced her birthday without her, and now experience your anniversary without her. I am not sure we can imagine how hard this month has been. We will continue to pray for you. Today you reminded me to love my husband in written and spoken word and action - live, love, laugh. God, give Milton extra strength and awareness of you today.

At 8:41 AM, Blogger Carrie Turansky said...

The Lord brought you to mind today, and I wanted to check in and know how to pray for you. I haven't commented for a few days because we celebrated our oldest daughter's wedding last Sat and we had a lot of family in town. It was a wonderful day...the beginning of a new life for them.

What sweet thoughts you shared today in honor or your and Kristy's anniversary. Thanks for reminding me to keep on sharing my love with my husband and enjoying each day.

I am praying you will find comfort today as you rest in God's love and the knowledge that you have been a faithful, caring, and loving husband and a great example to all.

Love and Prayers from,
Carrie in NJ

At 9:01 AM, Blogger Lady-in-the-Making said...

God bless you, Milton. We're still praying for you and will continue to do so.

At 9:08 AM, Anonymous Rebecca (Kristy's sister) said...

Milton, two special days you have had to face alone (Kristy's birthday and your anniversary - next will be your birthday in Sept).
I want to thank Norma for thinking of the scholarship fund. And I'd like to thank my brother Terry (who is on the board at Southeastern) for calling SEU to get the details for setting up the scholarship in Kristy's name. I know that Kristy would be so pleased; students will be able to realize their dreams because of Kristy. What a tribute!

At 9:56 AM, Blogger Becky; said...

this site blesses me.....praying for you today

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Kathy Collard Miller said...

Thank you for sharing your memories with us and for being honest about the pain.

At 12:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Greetings Milton from Columbia, SC.
Steve and I want to say...
"Happy Anniversary!"

Happy in that you were side by side with a wonderful best-friend, wife, and Mother for 37 years today.

Happy for the comfort of her heavenly experience today...for which you look forward to being with her again..dancing on streets of gold together!

Happy for the endurance of a faithful love affair that never ended!

Happy that your memories are cherished each time you focus on them and the number are in the millions.

Happy for the thoughts you published of your 'wedding day' in 1971 as a young man awaiting the 'bride of life' experience.. and it's treasures to hold dear to your heart forever!

Happy in missing her presence today because it's right to miss her..remembering her embrace as she was gathered up by a remarkable experience w/ Jesus and the Angels who escourted her into the heavenlies to be present w/ the Lord for eternity.

Happy that she ran her "life's race well and completed it without fail" be forever in the arms of Jesus our Lord.

Happy that her first Anniversary in Heaven is your spiritual deposit in the "Bank of Heaven".. and you have more to go to heaven for now than ever before...

Praying for special comfort for you today and each day as it comes. Asking the Lord to give you "Blessings" each day to meet your needs...

Thanks for sharing continually from your heart your "christian love stories"...we all cherish your honesty...

God Bless You...
Steve & Darlene
Columbia, SC

At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Norma said...

I remember being about four months pregnant in a turquoise bridesmaid's dress--everyone else was thin and I felt huge!

Kristy was a beaming, beautiful bride and you were an eager, handsome groom!

I remember Kristy's mother's "instructions"...

Love you,


At 1:53 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

How precious are our memories, and how special of you to share them with us, Kristy's writer friends. I laughed and got teary-eyed, too.

I pray God will keep all these memories bright and fresh for you until you hold her one again.

At 3:16 PM, Blogger A Romantic Porch said...

I just wanted to drop by and say Happy Anniversary. May God bless you as you remember these moments of the day. Sincerely, Rachel Going

At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too remember. Was it really 37 years ago? I was almost 18 and Jacksonville, Flordia was a long way from Birmingham, Alabama. Milton, you are so right, that Fairlane was one HOT car. If memory serves me right, we traveled at night so it wouldn't be sooo hot. Yes, I remember your late night swim. I remember when Kristy came to the church and everyone was telling you to go inside so you wouldn't see her. (Should have known were biten really bad!!) I remember the ceremony and the beautiful, glowing, red headed bride that was smiling the biggest, prettiest smile. I also remember thinking..."Milton has done good!!" I don't know why I was chosen to be a part of the wedding, but I am glad I was and have never forgotten it. Love you, cousin, and am praying for you constantly. George Dykes

At 11:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

PLEASE, MILTON.............don't let them defrock you! That would be just awful, after all these years!

Reading your blog today has made me feel as if I were reading a Christian Romance novel! How precious, how endearing to be able to look back with such sweetness.

I'm so happy you could spend your day in sweet remembrance, in honor of one special red-headed lady.

To ONE who took his commitment to "love and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" as sacred as the vow was meant.

FOR: "The Hero" in this Christian Romance Novel.....may God bless you, just so wonderfully!

CC (Tn)

At 11:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It just struck me that you said that you were in a "turquoise"
bridesmaids dress! Was that Kristy's signature color, even in 1971? I'd imagined that she had sort of grown into that signature color in her marriage, later on.
You know, no matter where I am - whether it be in home decor, or in fashions - turquoise brings Kristy to'll forever be imbedded in my mind, and that's just so sweet.


At 11:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So nice to share your remembrances. What a love!!!!

At 3:54 AM, Blogger Barbara J. Robinson said...

You can't help feeling blue, lost, and lonely without your second half, but you are not alone. The remembering is beautiful, healthy, and part of healing. Blessed, sweet memories. Your postings remind others to treasure their loved ones while they have them on earth. Kristy knows you're still celebrating your anniversary and blessed life together. God bless you as your tender heart heals.


At 6:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for being so open and transparent.Kristy's bridegroom is now caring for her in heaven, and she is having a wonderful feast, dancing on streets of gold. I pray your heart wil be comforted by your precious memories....and don't worry about being defrocked....if they didn't do it with Kristy's fireworks stories, they won't do it now.

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Pam Meyers said...

I'm so glad I came back and read this post again, prompted by today's post. I'd read it early yesterday and never returned. Sweet memories, full of love, passion and humor. You surely have been blessed, Milton. I cracked up on the last line.

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Vicki said...

So many people don’t experience the love you have shared in the post. They don’t take the time to work through the problems or remember the commitment they made to one another. You remind me of two people who were like grandparents to my sister and I growing up. Daddy Beard (Beard was their last name) was a retired southern Baptist preacher and Mommy Beard was his wife since she was 15. I remember as a very young child sitting in a circle in the evenings when we would spend the night and reading the bible out loud. Momma Beard didn’t have much of an education as girls frequently quit school at young age when she was growing up. Yet when she stumbled over what some might say was an ‘easy’ word, Daddy Beard lovingly helped her.

Today, as tear smart my eyes, you’ve reminded me of that love. Love that believes the commitment before God and love that has no end and will go on forever.

Yours and Kristy’s story is amazing and although she is no longer on this earth with you, she lives in your heart and in our hearts as you continue sharing the journey.


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