OFF TO SUNNY SAN JUAN

Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing the continuing story of christian romance since Kristy's passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

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Today, Monday, I drove from Jacksonville to Orlando and flew from there to San Juan, Puerto Rico, to spend Christmas with my grands and two beautiful daughters. I have made this trip before by myself but this will be the first time to go alone to share Christmas with by family. It is also the first time we have been together, both daughters and me, ever without Kristy. That makes for a double whammy--first time together since Kristy’s funeral and first Christmas together without Kristy.

For some reason I had not thought about us being together for the first time since her funeral. I guess I knew Christmas was coming and that we would be alone without her, but I just didn’t think about it being the first time that we would all see each other and be together. It really slammed me over the weekend as I packed and contemplated us sharing Christmas and being with the grands and everyone together without Kristy.

I talked with the girls and blueness began to settle in that I wasn’t prepared to handle. Tears and more tears began to flow. It became surreal all over again, and then over and over again it was surreal.  Questions began to run over and over in my mind. Why? How? Fairness? Past? Future? 

The girls sensed what was happening to me as they too were facing the stark reality of loss. 

Jennifer called me at the airport before I took off to make sure I was OK. My girls are really good girls. They are wonderful, caring, loving sweet young ladies--not girls anymore. They are my flesh and blood. They came from a loving relationship with a good, godly, gifted woman. Sweetness doesn’t begin to describe them. I have been so proud and thankful for them in this journey. They have grown up some and realized even more the importance of living with purpose. That is how thieir parents have lived and now their Mom is gone. They are flollowing close in Kristy;s footsteps. That makes me proud.

Jennifer said to me, “Dad, Mom is alive. She is well and enjoying heaven. She isn’t gone. She just went a little ahead of us. We are going to focus on what we have, our blessings, what we can be thankful for. We aren’t going to dwell on the loss. We are going to count our blessings."

Wow, that picked me up. I knew those words, but I needed to hear them. Jennifer said them to me for her, for Julie, and for her Mom. That is what Kristy would say. Jennifer said it for all of us.

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Wanda drove from Bartow to the Orlando Airport to see me off. She is off to visit her family for Christmas. Having someone present to show kindness helps too. Our relationship is far more than grief counseling or grief comfort. But today it was about grief comfort. She has to be the sweetest, kindest lady in the world. 

God sent me someone to help me walk beyond the valley. I am very grateful. I will walk farther, but today I had to take a pause to gather myself again. The journey will get better. I know. 

Everything is going to be OK.