Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Another post by Milton:

For new readers to this site, I am writing the continuing story of christian romance since Kristy's passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.


Today, Monday, I drove from Jacksonville to Orlando and flew from there to San Juan, Puerto Rico, to spend Christmas with my grands and two beautiful daughters. I have made this trip before by myself but this will be the first time to go alone to share Christmas with by family. It is also the first time we have been together, both daughters and me, ever without Kristy. That makes for a double whammy--first time together since Kristy’s funeral and first Christmas together without Kristy.

For some reason I had not thought about us being together for the first time since her funeral. I guess I knew Christmas was coming and that we would be alone without her, but I just didn’t think about it being the first time that we would all see each other and be together. It really slammed me over the weekend as I packed and contemplated us sharing Christmas and being with the grands and everyone together without Kristy.

I talked with the girls and blueness began to settle in that I wasn’t prepared to handle. Tears and more tears began to flow. It became surreal all over again, and then over and over again it was surreal.  Questions began to run over and over in my mind. Why? How? Fairness? Past? Future? 

The girls sensed what was happening to me as they too were facing the stark reality of loss. 

Jennifer called me at the airport before I took off to make sure I was OK. My girls are really good girls. They are wonderful, caring, loving sweet young ladies--not girls anymore. They are my flesh and blood. They came from a loving relationship with a good, godly, gifted woman. Sweetness doesn’t begin to describe them. I have been so proud and thankful for them in this journey. They have grown up some and realized even more the importance of living with purpose. That is how thieir parents have lived and now their Mom is gone. They are flollowing close in Kristy;s footsteps. That makes me proud.

Jennifer said to me, “Dad, Mom is alive. She is well and enjoying heaven. She isn’t gone. She just went a little ahead of us. We are going to focus on what we have, our blessings, what we can be thankful for. We aren’t going to dwell on the loss. We are going to count our blessings."

Wow, that picked me up. I knew those words, but I needed to hear them. Jennifer said them to me for her, for Julie, and for her Mom. That is what Kristy would say. Jennifer said it for all of us.


Wanda drove from Bartow to the Orlando Airport to see me off. She is off to visit her family for Christmas. Having someone present to show kindness helps too. Our relationship is far more than grief counseling or grief comfort. But today it was about grief comfort. She has to be the sweetest, kindest lady in the world. 

God sent me someone to help me walk beyond the valley. I am very grateful. I will walk farther, but today I had to take a pause to gather myself again. The journey will get better. I know. 

Everything is going to be OK.


At 9:44 AM, Blogger Robin Bayne said...

Everything truly will be okay : )

Yesterday my husband was wondering aloud what would happen in Heaven when you've had 2 spouses in your lifetime. (he lost his first wife to cancer 20 years ago). I told him everything would be okay once we get there!

At 9:59 AM, Anonymous milton dykes said...

We'll ask Solomon. He should know. Ha!

I don't think we will be married in heaven according to Jesus.

Can't think how that will be heaven, at least for those of us who had great marriages. Maybe that is why there won't be marriages there. There will be no hell there. Did I just say that some marriages are hell?

Preachers can't talk like that, you know?

Well, heaven will be heaven and hell will be hell. Now does that answer the question?

At 11:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the wives will be sisters in Jesus and the love of God will be such a part of the experience, we'll enjoy a higher realm of fellowship than we could ever imagine.

I've often wondered if our loved ones in heaven know when special earthly celebration dates arrive...like Christmas...a birthday, etc. I've wondered if a mother would remember the day she gave birth to a child.

Yes, Solomon is going to be busy, isn't he? ha!

Milton, have a wonderful, SOOTHING time with your family. God is good. I believe this will be a memorable Christmas and a healing Christmas, too.

At 12:53 AM, Blogger Megan said...

I know as a preacher you probably know this verse well:

"Dear friends, don't be bewildered or surprised when you go through the fiery trials ahead, for this is no strange, unusual thing that this is going to happen to you. Instead, be really glad--because these trials will make you partners with Christ in his wonderful joy of sharing his glory in that coming day when it will be displayed."
1 Peter 4:12-13

Keep on trekkin', Milton! God is going to bless you beyond your wildest imagination if you keep walking through the storm. And, like He's done already, He will send help along the way. Take your time, no hurry. Rejoice in little things every day. Count your blessings. Do something nice for someone else every day. Bear your teeth, dig your heels in, and trust in God!!


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