Tuesday, December 16, 2008

KRISTY CHOSE MY NEW LOVE

Kristy chose my new love. How is that for a title? It is true though, and you will have to wait to read the rest of the story to find out how that happened. It is amazing!

Don't worry everything will work out ok. My new love is young, but not too young. She will turn twenty-five next month. I feel she is getting closer to the Lord and may soon make a decision for Christ. Thankfully she will give up her exotic dancing on Wednesday nights so she can attend prayer meeting, and we think she just might get her four kids back in a few months if all goes well. She has overcome most of her addictions, except for occasional smoking. But other than that, everything looks like clear sailing.

Not!

That is the introduction that Kristy's brother Terry told me to tell of my new love. He felt that in a humorous and funny way that anything I told about my new love after telling that would sound wonderful.

The truth is my new love is wonderful and more.

My new love is a sweet, kind, gifted, and beautiful lady who Kristy mentored as a new convert many years ago in a past church where we were pastors. 

I know all this seems awkward to read since Kristy and I loved each other deeply, strongly, so closely. Go back and read our love story. You will see that I have written daily for a year about my redheaded gal. 

How can there be sudden change like this? I haven't quit loving Kristy and I never will. This new love is just that. It is a new love. It is an amazing love. It is the love that the Lord has for me.

How can this be? 

The answer is that this new love story flew off the wings of my first love through Kristy's selfless heart. At least twice before she died, Kristy told family members who my next wife was and should be. She didn't tell me because in our one conversation that she initiated to tell me that God would send me another wife my heart broke. I begged her to never go there again, and she didn't with me. 

My present love started in Kristy's heart and came to me from heaven. This new love is a love from heaven that has turned my head. It is that--plan and simple. No, I am not trying or going to fulfill a honest desire from Kristy's heart to marry the one she wanted. This is far more than honoring a wishful thought. You will be amazed to read how and why this love came about so quickly. Please be patient and allow the story to unfold. 

I will tell you more of how Kristy told Julie, my daughter, and my sis Norma who that next special one in my life would be. Kristy always planned ahead and she planned ahead for me. Wow, that gal really, really love me. 

As your read this unfolding story, you will wipe a tear, smile, and know there is a God in heaven Who loves us and cares for us and never fails.

I assure you that Kristy and my new love's husband, Jim, are watching from heaven and enjoying every spark of every moment.

***

To fill in the blanks of a few concerns from the comments of the yesterday's posts, please read the following:

1. I have mature accountability partners who are watching over my life and holding me to spiritual accountability. They know all that is going on in this relationship.

2. We are not engaged or married and we are waiting until next year for those plans to unfold. Waiting is the better part of prudence.

3. Our children are totally aware, pleased, and thankful for what God is doing in our lives. We have their full blessings. 

4. Our parents, siblings and family are all very happy about what God is doing in this relationship.

5. Generally I would never counsel a couple to enter into a relationship as quickly as I have after losing a spouse, but there are exceptions to every rule. I guess that sounds self-serving, but nevertheless it is still true.

6. I have received professional counseling in this process and my new love and I will go through pre-engagement counseling.

7. Isn't it fun to fall in love?!

8. Enjoy this story of love and faith. Pray for us and don't be afraid to share you hopes, concerns, and thoughts. This is a transparent story of christian love to inspire and bless others. 

9. My grief process has not ended but my new love is a God send to help in this process for me and my family. I have not changed my feelings of loving and helping my girls and grands during this holiday season. We will be spending Christmas together in Sunny Puerto Rico. My new love will be with her family here in Florida.

10. You will need to hear all the story to grasp the full wonder of this incredibly amazing love. Friends and family who know the rest of the story have wiped tears, smiled, and realized that there is a God in heaven who loves us and cares for us and will never fail us.

27 Comments:

At 12:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton, I'm amazed. I'm sitting here on the edge of my seat, at my computer...about to die to hear "the rest of the story"....It's like I'm biting my nails..almost..cause I'm dying --- I hate waiting!!!! And, if you don't hurry up and say her name, I think I will just SCREAM!!! I'm going, "Spit it out, Milton...spit it out! This suspense is absolutely killing me.....please get on with the story....please get on!!!............And, DO NOT TEASE US! You and Terry are being mean. Here I was thinking...Oh dear Jesus, he has gone and fallen for a 25 year old????????? Then, when I read on....well, I realized you were just BEING MILTON! aHHHH!
Now, I'm going to not become quite so emotional here, from now on...trying to be the mature woman I am....PLEASE FINISH THE STORY, AND QUIT MAKING US HANG ON......

thank you......veddy much!

Cathy (TN)

 
At 3:44 AM, Blogger One Mother with Cancer said...

Milton,

My father died when I was seventeen years old, and within a year my mother was remarried. Currnetly my step-father has been my dad for as long as I had my own father, and he is a wonderful man. Sometimes these things just happen, and most of the time it is for a great cause.

Congradulations, and much happiness.

Love, April

 
At 5:50 AM, Blogger Barbara J. Robinson said...

May God bless you, keep you, direct and guide you. May He bless you with comfort, love, joy, and peace.

Barb

 
At 6:22 AM, Anonymous Fran Van Hoven said...

the cloud of glory is moving ,move with the cloud...

 
At 7:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
I am sorry. I guess I started the comments from the Amazinf selfless love, by saying my heart is heavy. It was not my intent to judge you or start a world wind of comments. My heart is still heavy only from missing Kristy, but I sooooo wish you well. I pray that you will be happy and content for the rest of your life. God Bless You!!! & Have Fun!!!1 ;)

 
At 7:26 AM, Blogger Pam Meyers said...

Milton,
Thanks for sharing further about the new love of your life. Like all writers know you should end each chapter with a good hook to keep the reader turning pages. But. . . there is no page to turn when we check in day by day. We have to wait till tomorrow for the next episode. It's all good!

I know the naysayers have not walked in your shoes exactly as you have, no matter how transparent you've been on this blog. None of us have. People think 'but this is too fast.' As I said before, I have lived this in my life and now realize that some people's fast is just right for others. God knows what we need and when we need it, sometimes more than we do.

God's blessing on you, the girls, and your new love. In spite of your new love being in your life, this will be the first Christmas without Kristy and it will be difficult. I'll be praying for all of you.

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger Missy said...

I so appreciate your honesty and transparency. I think it is only natural that you would find another love so soon - you are obviously a man with a lot of love to give...and there is nothing wrong with that.

I can't wait to hear the story unravel! Thanks for including us!

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger Nathansma said...

Okay, you had me going! :) Don't be discouraged by the naysayers. You are a man of God and know his voice and how to follow it. Thank you for including us. Can't wait to read the rest of the story tomorrow and the days that follow.

Carla Blount Hood

 
At 8:04 AM, Anonymous milton dykes said...

Kristy would love it and be grateful for the care and concern of all of you. We are grateful too as we have talked through every concern all of you have voiced and even more.

There were no surprises to me yesterday. I saw your hearts and know you love me. You will love my new love too.

Believe me. This is an unusual story of love. I truly believe it will bless you and encourage your faith in God.

Kristy loved romance and this is romance she helped design in heaven.

It is amazing. Just wait until you read all the story.

 
At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
I too was heavy hearted...at first...i guess maybe shocked even though i knew it was coming...and even shed tears....i dont know you personally but through this blog......but since having read yours and kristy's heart i guess i do know you...all you voiced today about the counceling and taking it slow....is all good...and know matter what anyone thinks you should or shouldnt be doing...the one that matters is the heart and voice of God...if you follow that you won't be taking wrong turns, paths or anything else....noone knows what God says and is saying to you but you and He....and amen I say follow His leading.....We are all happy for you, but missing Kristy too....may He bless you and keep you, Jennifer, Julie and the grands during this first Christmas without the first love of your life...but God has opened a new chapter for you so enjoy the ride...I know that it will be so wonderful and exciting...cause God is in it...Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Pat

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Karen Eve said...

I know that God knows you Milton and your needs, and also the needs of your family and church. It is also good that this is soon so that there are not too many ladies vying to be the next Mrs. Milton Dykes. I'm sure there are many single ladies who are disappointed in your congregation. No, don't protest, it is natural, and who could resist a 'hero husband'. As always, with God's tapestry, I'm certain that there is much going on behind the scenes that is not visable - yet, and may never be. Be blessed and enjoy this time with your family. I know it will be bittersweet, but God has given you a hope and a future, and also your children.
Many blessings and prayers,

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Lena Nelson Dooley said...

Milton, I love Kristy very much, too. I followed the blog through the whole season of her homecoming. I prayed daily for both of you.

Because my mother died when I was 7 and my father remarried when I was 8, less than a year after my mother's passing, I know about this kind of thing.

My stepmother was a gift from God to my father and to my brother, my sister, and me. So I rejoice with you for finding another love. I believe it's a compliment to a wonderful marriage for a remaining spouse to accept love back into his or her life.

I'm anxious to read the rest of the story, too.

 
At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Interesting how Kristy named this blog 'Christian Love Stories' - as in plural... ;)

I've been following this blog for a long time.

Anyway, my .02 is that it is FAR too soon. God bless and guide you, My Friend.

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger THOMBU1 said...

Everyone has an opinion, and counsel is wise, but only the Lord's opiion ad counsel is truly the last word. God speed Beloved of His
tom

 
At 12:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In His time, In His time..
He makes all things beautiful in His time...

To everything there is a season...
Ecclesiastes

May your season be blessed by God, may His Love infilter every thought and memory is my prayer.

 
At 1:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I see God's amazing plan unfolding and it is wonderful to see His hand at work. I do believe, because of their mother's influence, your girls and extended family are fully supported. I think most of us are. Because of Kristy's influence, there is no way this does not influence your daughters wanting their mother's wishes and their father's dreams to be fulfilled. Wait and move slowly. Blending two families is very difficult in the best of situations. I've never heard your girls nor you nor your family be stinging in their replies. Yet, we have already seen this from the daughter-in-law yesterday. The comment was rude and judgmental. I feel sure you will marry your new love and I am happy for you, but please move slowly since two families involved.

 
At 1:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brother Dykes, I am so happy for you and your new love. God is so good to us as this clearly shows. I know that both of you as well as your families love our great, wonderful loving God and your desire is to serve him with all your hearts. Only he knows all he has in store for you. I know Kristy and Jim are smiling down on ya'll.
Love, Cindy Norris

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger Patricia W. said...

A few months back, as I read your posts, your heart bleeding for the love you had with Kristy, I thought that you would not be alone for long, Pastor Milton. Because some people can't be. They're not wired that way.

I pray for you and for the blessing of your new love. Isn't God amazing? He always meets us right at the point of our need.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger B. J. Brooks said...

Many family members tried to get me to move on when my husband passed away, but I knew I wasn't ready yet. Each time they asked I would say "I'm not ready yet." And only I would know when I was ready.

It took 3 1/2 years for me to say "Lord I'm ready now," and less than a week later I met my current husband on line through E Harmony.com. (it was a free weekend on their website) We discovered we lived less than 3 miles apart, his wife taught school behind my house for 25 years and had been gone for 5 years. My church was near his house, we were the same age and our children knew each other from school.

In the beginning I told God he would have to put someone on my doorstep for me to ever want to remarry. But the night I told God I was ready he told me I had to do my part. Never dreaming as I logged on for the free weekend that I would meet this wonderful man. We've been married for 15 months now and it's been and incredible time of sharing and loving each other.

And believe it or not my youngest son repeatedly told me "it was too soon." I don't think he meant how long I had been a widow but rather how long I knew my husband prior to getting married, we knew each other for 10 months before we got married.

So far be it from me to tell you Milton, when your "I am ready" time is. You had a very Happy Marriage with Kristy and I think that alone makes it easier to want to remarry and recreate that happiness.

Many Blessings
B.J. Brooks
(Robinson)

 
At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on now people, we do not need to bad mouth the "in-law" they love their Mother in-law, like we love Milton. Lets all join together and pray for the whole family (both families, as a whole).

That is a GOD Thing to do.

 
At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forgive me if I was bad mouthing in my comments. I know that was not my heart. I am praying for this family and I know the new love has to be wonderful - I have no doubt. But, I also think this can be a good teaching point for the inlaw that bringing a new family togehter requires listening and not being harsh. I am sorry but the remarks were harsh. May we all learn from this. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Milton's love will also be a pastor's wife. I have been a pastor's wife for many years and while most people are nice, there are THE moments! And all the pastors' wives said ... AMEN! New love, you will be fine and for the most part you have seen on the blog what you MIGHT face on a small scale to begin with. Be not frightened. You will be fine.

 
At 3:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow! At first I was shocked. But if God and Kristy picked her out...well then who can argue. Now I am just disappointed....if I were just older or Milton just younger....

I want the same type of love that Milton and Kristy shared....I better get busy with my prayers!! He must have someone in store for me!

C

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton, I tried yesterday to post a comment, but it did not go through for some reason. I would like to express the sentiments of Milton's family (parents and siblings) if I may. We are all very happy for you and very thankful for the person God has chosen for you. She has been my friend for over 28 years now and we all hold her in highest esteem. She is a woman of integrity and has many talents and abilities to use in God's Kingdom. May God bless you both as you follow after His will.
Tricia

 
At 7:41 PM, Anonymous Dad Dykes said...

Amen, Tricia! Those are our sentiments too. We met Milton's new love the first time for lunch on Nov. 29, 2008, Milton's treat to celebrate his parent's 64th Wedding Anniversary. When he introduced her to us my first comment to her was, "I would like to nominate you for Miss America."

She is a wonderful Lady and we trust she will become our new Daughter-in-law.

Dad & Mom Dykes

 
At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Gayle said...

Milton, you're one brave man for flinging your heart wide in Bloggerville. Sheesh. Can't wait to hear how this magical love story unfolds. Sounds like a Kristy novel, for sure.

God bless and keep you.

 
At 12:09 AM, Blogger DayleShockley said...

Patricia W said it best.... some people can't be alone for long... they aren't wired that way. How true, and how wonderful that we serve a PERSONAL God! He understands what we need and who we need. His timing is perfect.

So happy for you, Milton.

 

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