KRISTY INSPIRED ME

Milton, here for Kristy:

How long will I write Milton, here for Kristy? 

The answer is I will write as long as I feel God would have me to write. I promised Kristy I would write her story, our love story, in her absence when she had brain surgery and then I continued when her radiation treatments would not allow her to write.

She tried numerous times after her brain surgery to work on her novels, but her mind and hands would not coordinate and she had to give it up. That was so hard to watch and bear. She was so alive, so vibrant, so engaged, so swift, so creative, so funny, so servant directed, so committed to the Kingdom, so determined to have the best for those dear and close.

It is easy to write about this lady of mine. There is more, so much more to tell about our love story. 

I have written this before, but she made me a better man. My, how this dear lady worked to make me a better man. She loved me. She pushed me. She gave attention to me. She listened. She supported. She stood up to tasks big and small with me. There wasn't anything above or beneath her in her willingness to serve for the Kingdom, and for me. 

It was funny and sometimes amazing how we worked together. I helped her formulate letters, speaking outlines, helped her on how to articles, and collaborated on all kinds of projects with her. Some things just stumped her to my amazement. She wasn't one to have the gift of gab. She didn't schmooze so well. Her thoughts ran short in spontaneous moments. But she could sit at a keyboard and stories would flow out of her fingers. 

I have just come in to our home for a few moments before leaving again for an appointment this evening. When I walked into the house, my conscious and subconscious mind was looking for her. I can see her here, but she is not here. I can hear her hear, but there are no audible sounds. I an smell her sweet smell, but the perfume bottle hasn't moved. I can sense her energy, but the sights and sounds are dull.

My beloved is in heaven. Do you know how hard those words are to write? My inspiration has been covered. It is weakened. It is withdrawn. Kristy inspired me and lifted me, but now her voice, her mind, her swift hands, her tenacious determination, her wit and whimsy, her secret genious, and her kind touch toward me are all gone.

There is new inspiration near. I asked Kristy in her last moments on earth to tell Jesus to send me some help. Kristy loved me and I know she has done that for me. She loved me and she knew how desperately I needed her help. 

Jesus will inspire me. He will be my friend and walk with me and carry me.  

Jesus will send me help.