Saturday, October 11, 2008


Milton, here for Kristy:

Did you ever get an odd gift from someone? Kristy was always buying crazy, quirky things and adding a little spice to life. Her odd purchases are all over this house--a spilled coffee cup, a knife with peanut butter placed on the kitchen counter, an Impala with a red nose, etc. Her crazy stuff is so sorely missed.

I received a box in the mail this week and looked all around in it for a description of it and what to do with it. The only thing I saw was a note by sis, Norma, saying that I am now older than she is. I called her and described it and she couldn't
remember what it was or what to do with it. 

I said, "You sent this to me and can't remember what this is and what to do with it? And you think I am older than you?" 

So here are the questions:

What do you do with this thing?

What does it mean prophetically?

Is there a message here somewhere for me?

What is the message?

How can I use this for an illustration?

Does God take things like this and work good from it?

Why would you buy this for your brother?

What made her think I might need this?

What is this thing?

Why would a grown man with reasonable mental stability spend time on this?

If you have an answer for any one of these questions there is a gift certificate worth $15  to that will be given to the person who posts the best answer . You don't have to be present to win. You only have to answer one of the above questions and have the best answer--according to Da Judge. 

Favoritism may or may not decide the one who wins the $15. (Hey, it is my contest.) I am Da Judge. Da Judge's decision is final. I must receive your answer by midnight Sunday, Oct. 12. The contest will be decided in three days and the winner announced on the Tuesday morning post.

Last one to comment is a rotten egg!

What is this thing?


At 2:43 AM, Anonymous Dad Dykes said...

Its a desk pen and memo pad holder. Suggesting you can write memo notes while sitting on your jon. ;-)

At 6:56 AM, Blogger Russ Jones said...

Hello Milton,

You dad is right. You can also put a pen in it's mouth. and scotch tape in the roller it's holding in front. It's called the Butt Station. I have to be honest though. I thought it was a toothbrush holder at first.

At 7:24 AM, Anonymous milton dykes said...

This must have a deeper meaning, doesn't it? I just can't imagine such gift without some greater purpose?

What do you think?

Think, hard....The best answer is worth $15.

Maybe he is a new friend to keep me company?


At 8:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Milton,

Am a reader, but have never left a response. I will go with Dad Dykes & Russ on it being a desk set. However, an illustration could be: "Be prepared" :-) using a verse like Matt 25:10


At 9:49 AM, Anonymous becky riley said...

There is a moral to this illustration. Heard of the saying "Green with envy?" Well God says you reap what you sow, so when you're green with envy it hurts you and visits untold torment on you. You hurt yourself when you envy, not the other person. A bad attitude can upset you and send you to the jon. Until this guy turns his frown upside down he's stuck!

At 9:57 AM, Blogger GrammaGrits said...

Forgive my simplicity, but I think it's a man trying to figure out what to do with the toilet paper - he's not used to replacing the empty roll!!!

Is there a lesson in this? Maybe. We can miss the obvious lesson God has for us and try to figure things out on our own.

At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think she may be telling you that your full of something...Ha Ha
I think it represents a Sister trying to put a smile on her brothers face.Good job huh?I know I am laughing.See sometimes taking just a minute out of your day to do something cooky acually means so much more to someone eles.We are known to kinda get in this all about me mode ocasionally and this just shows us what can happen when we get out of it.It causes someone to wonder what in the world is going on..Oh and by the way if I win find some single Mom in your church and tell her to do something for herself with it.She really needs it more than most of us anyway.Thanks for the smile.Have a blessed day!

At 2:25 PM, Blogger Gayle said...

Question: "What is the message?"

Answer: When the "going" gets tough, sit it out and pray for deliverance.

P. S. No pressure, but tell "Da Judge" that Tuesday is my birthday.

At 2:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh's a lesson in toilet paper. Now that you are on your own, you need lessons in toilet paper roll changing, and how to change it properly. Whether it is to roll under or over the roll. These are critical issues to one learning to live alone. The green guy is going to give you wisdom in this area. Take'll learn. My husand disagrees on how the toilet paper is to be placed in the holder. We don't say a word. We just keeping changing it back and forth each time we use the bathroom. Have a good day.

At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, here's what the Lord told me about your little sermon illustration . . .

This figurine reminds me of a story that deals with a rather old fashioned lady, who was planning a couple of weeks vacation in Florida. She also was quite delicate and elegant with her language. She wrote a letter to a particular campground and asked for reservations. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn't know quite how to ask about the "toilet" facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom Commode," but when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward. So she started all over again; rewrote the entire letter and referred to the Bathroom Commode" simply as the "B.C.". Does the campground have its own "B.C.?" is what she actually wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn't old fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he couldn't figure out what the lady was talking about. That "B.C." really stumped him. After worrying about it for several days, he showed the letter to other campers, but they couldn't figure out what the lady meant either. The campground owner finally came to the conclusion that the lady was and must be asking about the location of the local Baptist Church. So he sat down and wrote the following reply: "Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take pleasure of informing you that the "B.C." is located nine miles north of the camp site and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along, and make a day of it..... They usually arrive early and stay late. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that right now, there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats.....They plan to hold the supper in the middle of the B.C., so everyone can watch and talk about this great event.....I would like to say it pains me very much, not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely not for lack of desire on my part....As we grow older, it seems to be more and more of an effort, particularly in cold weather..... If you decide to come down to the campground, perhaps I could go with you the first time you go...sit with you...and introduce you to all the other folks..... This is really a very friendly community.....

Scripture references:

Deuteronomy 23:12 – “Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself.”

Proverbs 27:9 – “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.”

Proverbs 27:10 – “. . . do not go to your brother's [sister’s] house when disaster strikes you– better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.”

Hope I win! Jerry Kessie, Suncoast Cathedral

At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote for Jerry's answer. I'm so proud that one of our elder's is so well versed.

your little sister who is jealous she didn't send it to you first.

proud pastor's wife of suncoast cathedral

At 5:29 PM, Anonymous milton dykes said...

The messages and illustrations are really moving my heart! This will be a hard contest for Da Judge as I am sure there are more pathetic, I mean prophetic, words to come. Ha!

God's Word really covers some amazing stuff!


At 7:27 PM, Blogger Robin Bayne said...

Gumby is being pokey about replacing the tp roll!

At 7:47 PM, Blogger DayleShockley said...

Milton, I have to say I about rolled on the floor laughing at this post... and I must be honest here; I would never have figured out that this green thing is a desk accessory. I must have clicked to enlarge the photos a dozen times, trying to figure out what on earth was the meaning of this. My first guess was a toothbrush and toothpaste holder, but something didn't seem right about that notion. I'm very glad to have the mystery solved.

As for your question, "What does it mean prophetically?" It means that we all "have to go" at some point, and if we use the last of the toilet paper, we should be nice and replace it. Thus saith me.

And, by the way, not to put any pressure on Da Judge, but Tuesday is my birthday, which means that winning would make a great birthday present... and the gal above (Gayle) who said Tuesday is her birthday, too... she would be correct, as we are identical twins. BUT, if I win, I promise to split it with her. :)

Long live Da Judge!

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Mom Dykes said...

Milton, its a desk scotch tape dispenser........and I'm always right!!!!


Your Mom

At 9:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it would look lovely on your desk at the church as a business card holder. You could prop the business cards in the little slot behind the green dude and then perhaps a pen could stand in the hole at the back. Very dignified.

april gordon

At 10:30 PM, Blogger NancyMehl said...

It's obviously a pickle on a toilet. The deeper meaning is this:

Don't worry when you're in a pickle. Everything will always come out all right in the end. (Grin)

Of course, you must be very spiritual to understand it.


Nancy Mehl

At 3:22 AM, Blogger Barbara J. Robinson said...

The message could be that nothing is finished until the paperwork is done. I've seen that on a similar woodwork item I have in my own bathroom :). She thought her brother could use a good laugh, so she bought it for him. Could it possibly be a reminder to clean up after yourself and take care of every detail? I think it's a pen and memo note holder. Maybe it's to remind you that you can think, read, or even write and take notes while on the jon. The little green man might mean a man from another world, from out of space, from another realm, or the green Hulk. God can take anything and work good from it. In this case, if it brought you and others a good laugh, He worked good from it. Be joyful and thankful for all things and praise God. Be thankful for the gift of the little green man and a good laugh and a sister who loves you.

At 7:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it is the modern day statue of the "Thinker" Remeber Dobie Gillis??? Be honest...waht else do you do in that position that you want to talk about????

Rick Peterson

At 5:02 PM, Anonymous MarthaB said...

Dear Milton, What this figurine means is you are healing from the greatest loss of your life. You are thinking about something else besides your broken heart and you are involving others, as all good Pastors do.
Sometimes a green figurine is just a green figurine.

At 5:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I noticed right away that it was a tape dispenser.

I think it means that God has a purpose for even the crappie things in life. Why would a grown man spend time on this? It reminds you of Kristy and you are at a point where it is a comfort rather than making you sad.

But just as God has a purpose for the crappie things in life, this little guy is going to Stick To the plan.

And hey, he's just as good a pal as anything else, right?

Beth Szabo

At 6:38 PM, Anonymous Norma McGee said...

I really did do it to give you a big laugh and to continue Kristy's shenanigans...

Sing him your new favorite song whenever you feel the need...

I have LOL reading about Mr. Green. So, not only did your birthday gift make you laugh, it gave all of us a big chuckle!!!

Love you older brother,



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