Wednesday, December 31, 2008

WHAT FAMILY THINKS REALLY MATTERS

ANOTHER POST BY MILTON:

For new readers to this site, I am writing since Kristy's battle with a GBM brain tumor and her passing on July 21. Kristy made me a romantic so I write to share christian love stories.

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Here are family posts that I would like for you to read before I write further about my new love. They have each expressed, along with other family members, their confidence and love for me and this new relationship. I know that some have wondered how this came about so quickly and I have given the best answer I know. God did it and He did it in His time and His way.


Please read these comments from my daughter Jennifer, Kristy's sister Rebecca, and her brother Terry. I think their comments speak to many of the issues and questions some might still have.


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My daughter Jennifer wrote:

Jennifer said...
Dad, I believe you are doing the right thing sharing this story. It's too wonderful not to. I believe the love developing between you and Wanda is God given.The fact some can't understand that is the exact reason it needs to be told! Without Christ love is distorted, people need to know of the amazing, unique love God offers!


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Rebecca (Kristy's sister)I read yesterday's blog early in the morning; I just now read the comments from yesterday.


Milton,

Don and I attended Bartow First Assembly when you pastored there. I know Wanda (and Jim) and their children very, very well. Don and I still attend Bartow 1st and so does Wanda. I see her all of the time. I can attest to the fact that there was no "attraction" of that sort; only a desire on your part and Kristy's to mentor Wanda and Jim in their walk with the Lord.And it paid off. They serve(d) the Lord faithfully; they became very involved in the affairs of the church and especially missions.

Their children are grown, married, have children, and best of all love the Lord with all of their hearts and are faithful and committed to their churches.Julie and Jennifer played with Wanda's children while y'all were at Bartow 1st.

We all fellowshipped together. And after you and Kristy left our church, Don and I continued to fellowship with Jim and Wanda.If anyone went into our church right now and asked anyone there what they thought of Wanda, every response would be positive - seriously, there would not be one unkind or negative comment about Wanda.

Just yesterday, our pastor gave an opportunity for people with needs to go and pray. I saw Wanda go down and pray with another couple. She loves God; she does not just sit back; she has a heart for the things of God.I know that you loved Kristy; there is no doubt about how strong and pure your love for each other was.

Kristy knew you were a young man; she did not want you to live alone. Truthfully, I'm glad that the Lord led you to Wanda (and her to you). We have all known her, her character, her family.

I pray God's blessings on you and Wanda and your children and grandchildren.

You are my "brother"; Wanda will be my sister-in-law.

***

Terry Roberts (Kristy's brother) said...

Milton,

I knew you before Kristy did. As one of your college buddies, I was impressed with your devotion to God, yet you were also "real" -- and a lot of fun.

I was glad when you asked my sister for a date and thrilled when you asked her to marry you. I was glad that you would be not only my friend, but family. Over the years I've observed you in all kinds of circumstances -- highs and lows, victories and disappointments. I've always been impressed with the wise and measured way you've handled whatever life served up -- always determined to trust God, no matter what.

You have distinguished yourself among your peers as a solid and gifted man of God. I'm glad you're still "real"-- and still a lot of fun. You're still my friend and you will always be part of my family.

I haven't had the privilege of knowing Wanda as well as others in our family have known her, but from everything I hear from them, I am impressed. I truly rejoice that God has graciously brought someone into your life whose solid reputation as a godly woman is known far and wide.

I don't mean to presume, but if you and Wanda decide to marry, I will welcome her into our family, too.Your brother, Terry

***

Thank you for taking the time to read what these family members have written. Other family members have written of the own initiative and desire without my asking any of them to write. They have all shared their respect for me and trust in my walk and service to God. That really matters to me.

I have written today's post so hopefully most of you will see my sincere and true honest walk to honor Christ and do His will. Serving Him and following His leading is the most important thing and love of my life. That is all I am trying to do now. I am not perfect and have a long way to go, but I am striving to please Him each day of my life.

To continue to write this blog is a labor of love and service to the Lord. I don't have to do this except I honestly feel that it has and will be an encouragement to others and to obey what God has put in my heart to do. It might be easier to let this story unfold without ever being written on the pages of this blog--especially with some comments that have been written without any factual or christian fairness on the commentors part. However, I feel this story should be told so by the help of the Lord I will write it.

I will not write any further to explain or defend what I am doing. My family supports this and that is what really matters. I do fully understand anyone having honest questions as to how this could happen so quickly. I have asked that question too. It is a fair question.

The short answer is that God has brought this about in His time and in His way with the full and complete blessing of my children, Wanda's children, our parents, siblings, and accountability partners. I will follow Him and the godly counsel He has given me.

Tomorrow I will begin telling the story of my new love. You will wipe a tear, smile, and know there is a God who love us and cares about us and is faithful in all His ways.

22 Comments:

At 8:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been reading this site for a long time now and have kept you and Kristy and your family in my prayers daily. I am a Christian woman, married for 32 years. I have gotten so much comfort in reading Kristy's blogs.

I guess I, along with others, are confused at your swift movement into another relationship. In following your blog's, it seemed to me that this was coming, very early on, that you were dropping hints. From a woman's perspective, I feel that maybe Kristy saw something, felt something, and knew that you both had a chemistry of sorts. Women are very intuitive and perceptive. I truly hope that you are not hearing your subconscious mind, telling you about your new love. I will continue to pray for you and hope that you will get grief counseling.

 
At 8:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
I am so excited to hear the story of how God has brought this all about...it will undoubtbly encourage others to just follow and trust Him and He will take care of all. God is amazing...I am waiting wtih great anticipation.....
Pat in St. Pete

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger A Romantic Porch said...

Milton, I am amazed at your strength to live this story in front of cyber space. The blog world can be so cruel and cutting. Please tell your family thank you (from us/me) for all of the support they are giving you. Yes, they are the ones that matter in this.

It has been so encouraging to me to see God answer prayer for you ... and Kristy, even though her healing was in heaven and not here on earth.

I'm anxious to hear the rest of the story, but it has built my faith to be reminded that God cares about the tiny details of life in the midst of pain.

May God bless you richly in the New Year.
Sincerely,Rachel

 
At 8:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i to am anxious to hear how this came about. I am just confused on how quickly can you fall in love. and have another woman step into Kristy's home and all.

 
At 8:52 AM, Anonymous CLE said...

I am so excited to see we will be reading "the rest of the story", finally! After such a build up.....It is like a book I can't put down. I have prayed and mourned with your family during Kristy's illness and you don't even know me. I am happy for you Mr. Dykes. Men tend to remarry quicker than women after death or divorce. I can't wait to find out how things got started. I can't wait to wipe a tear, smile, and see how God blessed you with a wonderful woman. How blessed you are to have found love twice. I can only hope and pray to find that love for my life, like you and Kristy had. God Bless you Mr. Dykes....and Happy New Year!!!!

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Nathansma said...

Milton,
I ditto "A Romantic Porch." As I have said before, you are a man of God and know His voice and how to follow it. There will always be skeptics but you are living to please God and not the skeptics. What a wonderful way to begin the new year for you, Wanda, your family and us your faithful readers. Blessings to you all.

 
At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton, I am sorry that you and your family are having to read comments that seem to insinuate that you had a chemistry with Wanda way back. Common sense says if Kristy had seen that, she would have disiiked Wanda and certainly not pushed you toward her even on her heavenward-bound bed. Even if we don't understand timing, it doesn't mean that it is not God. (Ask Mary and Martha about understanding God's timing!)

I know so many have followed this story and loved Kristy dearly and aren't ready to let those feelings go. It is hard and maybe even impossible, at times, to read about and rejoice in your love. Many haven't caught up with your feelings.

I know you feel led to write the story, but I wish you would consider writing it on paper and tell the story later.

I ask bloggers to refrain from insensitive comments. Consider the daughters who are in favor of this. You will get bad comments, and you will lose readers. Hope your timing is right on writing the story. Consider letting the story play out and then write it. Just a suggestion.

Blessings on you, Wanda, and your family.

 
At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,

I think it was Jesus that said "Judge not lest you be judged" I hope "some" of your readers will read their bible and just pray for you instead of commenting negative words..

"If God be for us, who can be against us"??

I know that God is for this relationship with Wanda & You. Keep on doing God's favor and tell the story. There are more readers in your corner then there are not.
Can't wait to hear the rest.

 
At 10:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I try to inject a bit of levity? I'm also a Christian who's been married for a quarter century, and I wonder why some here have become indignant at the mere suggestion that a married Christian could find somebody of the opposite sex attractive. Yes, even while their spouse is alive and well! (I won't even use Milton's name in this example, as things are getting too heated.) I have been faithful to my spouse, but I would be lying if I said I NEVER found another person attractive. Being tempted is NOT a sin--even Jesus was tempted--as long as one does not act on the temptation. I feel most of the bloggers have been respectful, and some are genuinely concerned that this may have happened too quickly. Those who say "judge not," seem to "judge" the bloggers who ask questions and express reservations. The Bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counsel. So can those who are cheering Milton on have respect for those who ask questions?

 
At 11:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
I applaud you for being so open and upfront. You are doing what God has led you to do. If your readers don't like it then good riddens. They can go find another blog to read. Don't let them defeat you and talk you out of something that God has asked you to do.

I'm anxious to hear the rest of the story. Don't worry about what man thinks, it's only what God thinks that counts.

Keep your chin up and your eyes on Him.

 
At 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 11:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 11:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Milton,

I do believe that Jesus has brought Wanda and yourself together.

I wish you both the best. May you have a blessed New Year.

That being said, I am sad when reading some of the comments.

Jesus did say, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

I do not know you, and started reading this blog when Kristy's illness was diagnosed, but I have not a sliver of doubt that you loved Kristy with all your being. Also, I have know of widowers who married not long after their spouse's death.

Widowers whom have had happy, loving marriages tend to marry quicker.

You and Kristy loved each other and Jesus. You loved each other completely.

I do believe Jesus has brought Wanda and yourself together, and pray for your happiness.

To those who need to judge, this is not a Christian thing to do.

All the best,

Lisa Vella and her mom Arlene

 
At 11:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been reading this blog everyday for months. It seems as though people are getting too caught up in the comments instead of just reading the blog posts. I visit this blog everyday to read Milton's posts, very rarely do I read the comments unless I want to comment myself.
This is an amazing story, so please let it be. I anxiously await to hear the rest of the story.
Thank you Milton for this beautiful story.

A faithful reader from Ohio.

 
At 12:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 2:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi All,
I don't usually blog, but find I have something to say. First and foremost, Milton has been faithful to his wife. My husband and I know them personally and have sat under their ministry.

Milton is alone now. He was faithful to the end. Everyone that has read this blog and knows he and Kristy that he was. He is under NO obligation to wait a certain length of time to enter into another relationship. Marriage is still.... til death do us part? Why do some think it's their place to be judge and jury?

It seems that some struggle with the fact that he's not waiting long enough to suit them in this process, but we're not walking in his shoes.

Let's trust our brother and believe that he will do the right thing and he's is being led by the Lord in his decisions. Our job is not to criticize, but PRAY for him, his precious girls and grandchildren.

Let's wish him well in the future and pray God's blessings upon him in this new year.

LaDonna & Keith

 
At 2:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 2:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 3:30 PM, Anonymous milton dykes said...

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At 6:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"One day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." 2Peter 3:8. We do not know God's Timing. We read and believe the world and all therein was created by God in seven days,(in spite of the big bang theorist). So how long would it take Him to create love in the hearts of a man and woman? I was raised to believe Psalm 105: 15 "touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm". If time seems a little short to any of you, (as my Mother would have said) let God handle it for He is God. God is good and God is able to direct a godly man and woman who are both looking to Him for guidance.
Ecclesiastes 3: 1 "....there is a time to every purpose under Heaven." I believe that time is fulfilled by the hand of God.

Just another "blood" relative who loved Kristy from the moment of her birth. I love and trust Milton as well and am confident God will direct his and Wanda's pathway.
Anita

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger Cyndy Salzmann said...

Milton,
I loved Kristy as a writer -- and as a wise and encouraging friend. I will never forget one of her first emails with the subject line of "I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOR" -- where she talked about that "cloud of peace than engulfed her.

Kristy loved you so dearly that I'm sure one of her concerns was the prospect of leaving you alone. I think Wanda was part of that cloud of peace.

As talented a writer as she was, Kristy couldn't have crafted a more beautiful love story if she had written it herself. This could only come from the Master's hand.

I wish you and Wanda many blessings for a long and loving relationship.

 

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