Saturday, June 28, 2008

WHEN EMOTIONS RUN AWAY...

Milton, here for Kristy:

My emotions have been running away with me. It's hard to explain though I guess it would only be natural that such a thing would occur.

Kristy and I are people of faith. We believe God heals and He heals today. So we're praying and believing. We committed our ways to Him years and years ago. So regardless of the immediate or distant future our faith rests in Him.

My mind is filled with so many memories. Thursday and Friday nights as I tried to sleep, my eyes and heart were filled with beautiful imagines of Kristy and all the wonderful things we have shared together. Over and over they played. Her face kept glowing in my mind.

There are so many dreams we have yet before us. I can see them all, but my faith falters that we will fulfill them. I reach out to His mercy.

I have a rest and peace in my heart and then at the next moment my heart aches and breaks. Tears fill my eyes. Emotions began to overflow.

Then I tell myself all the things I have told others as a pastor. I know God's Word and I quote it to myself.

Jesus is alive. He is with us. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. By His daily grace, we will make it.

And then questions come again.

How did all this happen? How did we get to this point? What does today and tomorrow hold?

Our recent steps in our journey have not all been sad. There has been true joy and wonderful peace. The cloud of peace is still resting over Kristy and she is sitting in a chair of strength. God hasn't failed her nor me.

Kristy and I feel the prayers and love of our dear family, wonderful church, and friends. You have been a bridge that is helping us cross these troubled waters.

I know my Redeemer lives.

We will trust in Him.

***

How is Kristy?

Friday was a mixed day of rest and sleep and some discomfort for Kristy. She wasn't as alert. She experienced some pain and we had to give more meds.

She wanted me close and put her arms around my neck and shoulders. Our love is sweeter and stronger than ever.

20 Comments:

At 8:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
Thank you for being so honest about what you are going through. I know many people have to face these same or similar circumstances, but it is encouraging to know that you are not alone. May God's grace and peace surround you totally during this time.

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Margo Carmichael said...

Standing with you in agreement in prayer and sending hugs and blessings to all of you.

 
At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, this brought tears to my eyes, many people are lifting you up in prayer. I never even knew Kristy or your family until I found Kristy's blog in Feb. It is like you all are a part of my family as I read about your journey.

Bro. Dykes you have been so strong, but you are allowed to let others take care of you too. I am still praying for a miracle. Your love story is one of a kind.

Teresa from Al

 
At 12:03 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

Thank you for your transparency. I continue to pray for Kristy and trust God with the future of your family. Praying in San Antonio.

 
At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The words of one of my favorite hymns says what I am feeling and praying for you all this morning. May God use the words to soothe your spirit today.


Precious Lord, take my hand,
Lead me on, let me stand,
I am tired, I am weak, I am worn;
Through the storm, through the night,
Lead me on to the light:

Refrain

Take my hand, precious Lord,
Lead me home.

When my way grows drear,
Precious Lord, linger near,
When my life is almost gone,
Hear my cry, hear my call,
Hold my hand lest I fall:

Refrain

When the darkness appears
And the night draws near,
And the day is past and gone,
At the river I stand,
Guide my feet, hold my hand:

Refrain

 
At 1:18 PM, Blogger nanatrish said...

You sharing helps us realize what you are going through. Praise God you have each other and most of all have the Lord. A roller coaster of emotions is very normal in this situation. Many of us have been there and it surprised me that I could endure through all the ups and downs. God is faithful and please know that prayers are continuing to go up for Kristy and you and your family. If you had all of us in your home to visit and pray I'm sure it wouldn't hold us all. We are out here and we love you guys. I'm thankful that you can communicate with us through the blog and please find comfort in knowing that you are loved in places all over this country.

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger Kayla said...

Every morning I check your blog to check on Kristi. I've never met you guys and I may not, this side of heaven, but I feel like I know you. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. You are being prayed for in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. God bless.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Karen Eve said...

Thank you for your honesty - it truly does help us know how to stand with you. Continuing to pray for your family and Kristy's full healing.
God Bless

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Mary Connealy said...

I'm thinking of all of you.

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Pam Meyers said...

The Lord has been your strength, but even Jesus wept. And He grieved. Someone wrote here that it's all right for you to let others minster to you. You've been ministering to others for most of your life. We all lift you up in prayer during this time. Grieving for what you have had with Kristy and unless the Lord does a miracle you won't have again on this present earth is normal and part of the process.

God bless all of you. You have been such a blessing to all of us.

 
At 3:27 PM, Blogger Robin Bayne said...

I can't even imagine what you two are going through, but I know your faith will get you through. Praying!

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Milton,
This song fills my heart....

PEACE, PEACE WONDERFUL PEACE
COMING DOWN FROM THE FATHER ABOVE
SWEEP OVER MY SPIRIT FOREVER I PRAY
IN FATHOMLESSS BILLOWS OF LOVE!

You both have been so brave and courageous through the battle. All of us out here see the strength of God in everything that you do and say. It has spoken volumes to the hearts of all of us who've stood "beside" you and with you. In our weakness HE IS STRONG. Isn't that so wonderful to grasp hold of? Your faith has not faltered, and the words you've preached so many times still stand true today! The love of your life is suffering, and your heart is crying out. May God bless you and your beautiful family. You can know we are praying.

Love and blessings,
Cathy (TN)

 
At 4:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Lord is your shepherd,
You shall not want
He maketh you to lie down in green pastures,
He leadeth you beside the still waters,
He restoreth your soul...

That's my prayer for you today, Pastor Dykes. May God minister to your heart in a tangible way, and may you, in turn, be strengthened to minister to Kristy. Sharing your emotions with her can be a precious thing. I hope you aren't feeling that you have to be strong for her. Shared tears are a sign of strength, not weakness. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing.

 
At 5:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pastor Milton,

We continue to pray that the Lord sends His healing power through Kristy. I know that the pain of watching a loved one suffer is beyond unbearable, and Jesus knows, too! Your tears come from a heart of love for your beloved.

As always, we thank you for your transparency. We trust in God's "cloud of peace and chair of strength." And I pray that the Lord will send His saints to your home to minister to all of you. Rest in Him. Rely on the brothers and sisters in Christ when you need a shoulder.

Our hearts are with you. Our prayers are with you, Kristy, Julie, Jennifer and the grands. I pray that He gives you a revelation of Heaven today.

Love,
Nancy & family

 
At 6:35 PM, Blogger Carrie Turansky said...

Dear Friends,

How our hearts ache for you. We wish there was a way to share this burden and make it lighter. Hopefully these messages will let you know how much you all are loved and how many are praying for you.

Thanks for sharing from your heart. Those tears and memories are precious.

Love and prayers from,
Carrie in NJ

 
At 7:52 PM, Anonymous LaDonna said...

Dear Milton & Kristy,
I read your blog everyday. Thank you for your honesty.

Praying for you both of you.

Much love,
LaDonna & Keith

 
At 8:30 PM, Blogger Ane Mulligan said...

Milton, I highly recommend a book called The Prisoner in the Third Cell. It's about John the Baptist.

The premise is: what do you do when your God doesn't live up to your expectations?

It helped me grab hold of my faith through a very difficult time the year that within a 4 month period, I lost my 30 year-old daughter-in-law to cancer, my mother to Alzheimer's and my father to cancer.

I had the same questions you have. I cried and railed at God. But through it all, He gave me peace.

The book helped me realize my life will be filled with heartbreak, but the reward will be great.

Eternity awaits you - eternity with Kristy and our Lord.

I'm praying you will feel more of God's love and peace that the heartache.

 
At 10:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Milton, You are human and your feelings are normal. It would be abnormal if you weren't having seesaw emotions right now, especially with the deep bond that you and Kristy share. I pray for super strength and comfort for you and peace without pain for Kristy. With my love for you both and the family, Kathy

 
At 10:38 PM, Blogger SweetAnnee said...

I'm still out here praying..
may the peace of Christ
by with you
deena

 
At 1:57 AM, Blogger DayleShockley said...

Bless you, Milton. Only those who have been in your shoes can understand the depths of your feelings. I've been through a fair number of storms in my lifetime, but none to compare with yours. One thing is sure though--and I've said it often--great storms change the landscape forever. Things are never the same. We are never the same.

It was J. R. Miller who wrote, "There is a humanizing and fertilizing influence in sorrow which has been rightly accepted and cheerfully borne. Indeed, they are poor who have never suffered, and have none of sorrow's marks upon them. The joy set before us should shine upon our griefs as the sun shines through the clouds, glorifying God. God has so ordered that in pressing on in duty, we shall find the truest, richest comfort for ourselves."

You are human, Milton, and it's normal to have all of the feelings you described. As someone said already, to do otherwise would not be normal. But you and Kristy have exemplified the godly way to bear earthly sorrow and to endure a great storm... cheerfully and rightly accepted. You have given us all a beautiful example, and that is a priceless treasure. In all honesty, we owe you both a great debt. Thank you for continuing to share your and Kristy's journey with us.

 

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