KRISTY KNEW...
Milton, here for Kristy:
I have definitely felt better these last days dealing with the pain of Kristy's loss. Family and friends have encouraged me, and God is helping me.
It is interesting to walk this journey. Obviously this is a very unexpected journey, and I have no clue how to walk it--except in His strength and grace. Every individuals walk through the grieving process is different, and I am still exploring the way.
Every individuals walk into the new relationship that He has is different too. Kristy always said that I would move ahead quickly with life if she should pass. I couldn't stand to hear her speak like that--especially when she mentioned it after we discovered the GBM brain tumor. She wanted me to move ahead and told me so even though it hurt more than I could bear at times.
A friend recently called and said to me, "God is going to bring someone into your life. I just feel I should tell you." This was a life-long college pal who was close to Kristy and me. He and his wife have been dear friends for many years all the way back to college.
God has my life planned out including this surprising bend in my journey of life. He will lead in His way and timing. I can't hardly believe that I would write such a thing, but I know that it will come about as God brings a new life partner into my life. Kristy wanted this for me and told me so and even wrote about it on this blog. It hurt me then, but now it is an amazing comfort and strength to know she wanted me to be blessed and live my life to its fullest. She loved me with an unusual love.
I can honestly write this would be my desire for her should I have preceded her. My parents have already suggested individuals mentioned by others. They love me too, but God has an unusual plan to be worked out in my life. Kristy knew it and now I know it.
If all this sounds too bold or too transparent, please forgive me. I have tried to honor Kristy's wish to journal this story in a reasonably transparent manner. Her honesty and love just continues in my writing.
(By the way, I am still wearing my wedding ring so I am definitely not looking for a lady friend. Don't send my picture to anyone or send me a picture. I am just writing from my heart and what I know and feel.)
posted by Kristy Dykes @ 7:00 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Milton,
Your writings deep from your heart are an encouragement to others going through the same journey you are. It is also refreshing to see how God is moving you right along where he wants you. Keep up the great sharing....I cry with you and laugh with you. Good thing you included the last little note....or you would be bombared with names and pictures....and who knows what else.
Milton, having been in ministry for nearly forty years, we have walked this path with many people. One of the most difficult things is for the one left behind to speak of living life with someone else. Often, they feel as if they ae betraying their deceased spouse. I am glad you spoke it early on. You were faithful, loving and caring to Kristy all the way to the end. It's okay to want to share love again and God will bring someone to you in HIS TIME. Again, I am glad you spoke it early.
Milton, Your honesty is SO refreshing! Kristy definitely knew what she was doing when she left her "Christian Love Stories" blog in your very capable hands. I can see why you had such a successful, loving marriage.
May the Lord continue to richly bless you and yours.
Nancy
Dear Milton,
I have always heard that those with the happiest, most satisfying marriages are the first to consider a new love after the death of their beloved.
It makes sense; you Know how great True Love can be!
Kate.
Milton, I watched two of my pastors lose their sweet wives to cancer, and in both cases, it was less than a year later they remarried. And also in both cases, their wives began praying for their next spouse before they died.
A pastor's wife knows the difficulties in pastoring and how much you need your helpmate to pray for you and love you.
Don't let the enemy rob you when that special one God sends comes into your life.
I know as I watched this happen in my own church, at first I felt bad about it, worrying it was too soon. But God has His hand on these men and women, and both marriages are God-centered.
When it comes, embrace it, knowing Kristy prayed for it to happen. After all, she's with her Bridegroom now. How could any of us want anything less for you?
In fact, in loving again, I believe you will be honoring the love you and Kristy shared.
God bless you ...
Milton,
How can it be?
Is truly the question that lingers through your days and nights. My only advise would be 'to do as Jesus would do'.
Love is explained in I Corinthians 13 very clearly. However, the only true loss of love described in The Bible is the loss of Jesus on the cross, but His Love is and always will be the most precious Love for all the world because it was a sacrificial love for mankind.
The love you seek on earth is companionship which is the love God made possible when he saw and knew that Adam was alone. He then made Eve for him. Wish Adam's life had turned out perfect; then you'd not have a single thought of worry or concern about your life's direction. Only said to say this, even when love is perfect it truly has it's imperfections.
You definately are too young to be alone, however, many have progressed too fast and have a life of mistakes to deal with. Then there are those who have waited on the Lord for their partner and in His Timing and have had a glorious new love (never forgetting their first love because it was the love that molded them into the partner worthy of a new love)for the present time.
A good book: "Death, Grief, and Dying" the author I cannot remember.
Of course, please do yourself a favor and go through the holidays at present because there is so much you need to experience now before God brings your new love into your life. May this chosen vessel of the Lord be as gentle in spirit as she needs to be; as strong in the Lord as she will definately have to be able to hear and know the voice of the Lord not her own desires; and; may our Heavenly Father direct your paths to meet by His Holy Spirit's direction not that of someone meaning to assit you in your time of need.
Even family can mean well; and they do, believe me, I know! But only God can join a man and a woman together in marriage for a lifetime of intended pleasure.
God keep you in His care each day.
Keep leaning on the Lord for direction as you always have done. It is wise to seek a wife and may God order your steps!
God Keep you and Bless You is our prayer.
Milton, I remember reading the post that Kristy wrote after she had expressed her desire for you to remarry, should she be taken from you, and I remember thinking how painful that moment must have been for both of you. The pain came through in her words, and yet, she wanted this for you. She knew you would need someone, and she was OK with it. That, my friend, is true love.
From all I've been told, and from all I've observed, those who had great marriages are usually the ones who remarry soon after a spouse is taken from them by death, and I think it's great when they know they have the blessing of their former partner.
Bless you for sharing your heart. We care.
Milton, I am praying for you regularly in my devotions--that God will strengthen you and be a tangible presence with you. Whatever hopes/dreams for the future you can cling to now are wonderful gifts from God.
Much love,
~ Brandilyn
People walking through the grief of losing a significant relationship can be uplifted by the way you’re allowing the Lord to guide you and how transparent you are about everything. Thank you. And how awesome that you are honoring Kristy's wish to journal this story. I believe if a person puts God first, like you’re doing, everything else falls into place in His timing. Including relationships.
Great comments today. I tend to agree that a "quick" remarriage after death generally means the marriage was healthy and solid. However, only you can determine when you're fully ready to move on.
P. S. I couldn't help but chuckle at the first anonymous comment:
"Good thing you included the last little note....or you would be bombared with names and pictures....and who knows what else."
So funny, but so true. Be ready. The day you announce you're moving on, there'll be an onslaught of women on your front lawn (before sundown) casseroles in hand.
Good luck and God bless.
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